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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Out of interest... when did you know (if at all) that you were going to be an 'extended' breastfeeder?

28 replies

Pogger · 30/06/2012 19:51

Just musing really (and trying to type with my thumb while DD2 feeds to sleep)... I am amazed at myself for even thinking it - after stopping so early with DD1 - but I can't see the point of stopping this time. DD2 is only 4 and a bit months so you never know I suppose, but I'm just curious whether most of you just sort of carried on almost without realising, or whether there was a 'moment'?

OP posts:

Saphiesgirl · 30/06/2012 19:58

Struggled a lot in the early days and was desperate to reach six weeks, made it and kept going, by six months was really enjoying it and although it felt really old ( at that point) hoped to make a year so no formula needed. We were doing so well I just went with the flow ignoring other people and doing night feeds. By the time my son was 2 i realised I was an extended feeder and he still didn't want to stop!!
Stopped when I was about ten weeks pregnant with dc . Looking forward to new arrival but don't know how ds will adapt. Generally laid back parenting with most things so we'll keep going with the flow.

If you and baby are enjoying it then just keep doing what works for you and savour every moment!

Iggly · 30/06/2012 20:01

No - well I thought I'd do a year with DS but he turned out to be intolerant to cows milk so I carried on until he was two. It was really hard the first six months, I tried formula but made him sick so stopped after 1/2 feeds of that.

DD is 7 months and also intolerant so we'll be going until she's 2, like her brother!

EauRouge · 30/06/2012 20:02

I'm sure I had several moments, I think the goal posts kept shifting as DD1 grew. I certainly never set out to be BF an almost-4-yo. My original goal was 6 months, then I can't remember when but I'm sure when I read about the WHO guidelines I decided to carry on, and then when I read Kathy Dettwyler's research I decided it was self-weaning or bust

With DD2, from the start I have decided to go until she self-weans but that's because I've already done all the reading up I need to to help me make up my mind.

rubyslippers · 30/06/2012 20:02

When her first and then second birthdays came and I was still feeding

Am keen to stop now tho

It wasn't a conscious thing to do it - it just evolved

She is also a very keen feeder which helps - no sign at all of self weaning

CountBapula · 30/06/2012 20:02

The last person in my NCT group to finish bfing (except me) stopped at 13 months, so at that point it felt like we were the odd ones out, if you like.

DS is 21 months - guess it started to feel a bit 'extended' when he could toddle over while I sat on the sofa, clamber up, lie down on my lap and say, 'Booboo!'

We've just sort of kept going, for survival mainly (DS has always been an erratic sleeper). I still feed him to sleep - he's dozing on my boob right now. It's much easier now he's mostly sleeping through, and it's a lovely way for us to feel close despite the fact I work almost FT.

BertieBotts · 30/06/2012 20:05

I think I decided somewhere between 6/9 months.

Other than that it just kind of carried on. DS is 3.9 now (!!) and it seems so normal I tend to assume all toddlers are breastfed

Kveta · 30/06/2012 20:07

similar to Ruby! plan to wean him by the end of the year (when he'll be 3.3) because he sure as shit won't wean himself, and I'm now tandem feeding him and 2 week old DD and feeling a bit bovine and ready for him to stop. hopefully DD will keep going until she's 2+ but who knows!

EmilieFloge · 30/06/2012 20:07

No real moment for me, I kept getting mastitis when ds2 was about a year old then I got really ill from taking antibiotics for that, for about four months. I kept trying to stop feeding him but he would not go to sleep and it was a massively stressful time for all of us, so I caved in every time, and we just kept going.
The mastitis stopped happening and I ended up feeding him quite substantially till he was four and a half and had just started school.
I didn't mean to and was sort of embarrassed about it but figured there were better things to be embarrassed about (or worse) and so I just stopped when he was willing and able to. It was easy when it happened.
He didn't self wean before that.
I rarely fed him in public though sometimes when he cried I would, even in the playground at school and yes people stared and thought I was weird but a few others came and whispered that they did the same at home.
I wasn't militant, I was mortified really at times but it just was what we did, so we got on with it.
Ds1 I only fed for 16 months, some thought that was too long...and before that I had only seen 'odd' people bf after the age of 3 or so, that was my limited experience - if more 'normal' people did it, it would become less of an event in the public view. (by odd I mean people who had an attitude that a lot of society was rubbish and they resented being humans like the rest of us)

GoodButNotOutstanding · 30/06/2012 20:08

I fed dd1 til 13 months and she more or less self-weaned, although i realise now I had been encouraging weaning for a few months by not picking up on her signals if i didn't want to feed her for some reason, and offering food instead.

With dd2 I assumed I'd feed her for about a year as that's what I'd done with dd1. So we got to a year and she was still having 3-4 bfs per day and more at weekends when i wasn't at work, she wouldn't go to sleep for me without bf (but would sleep for cm and dp no problem) I thought I would jsut carry on as I knew it was fairly normal to feed longer. Then she turned 18 months and all the friends we'd made at bf group had stopped and were asking how long I intended to continue. I replied 'when she's ready'. That's when the penny dropped for me that not only was I planning on extended feeding, I was already doing it in many people's minds. She's now 2 and 4 months and shows no signs of losing interest yet, it's the first thing she asks for in the morning when she wakes up and the last thing she wants as she goes to sleep. Those are generally the only times she wants bf now, but she quite likes to feed to sleep for a nap at weekends. We'll stop when she's ready or possibly I'll encourage her to stop when she starts school (possibly, probably not :))

EmilieFloge · 30/06/2012 20:10

I should clarify I didn't feed him in the playground once he had started school - that was only once or twice when he was two or three, and his big brother was there.

I think feeding a reception child in public might be pushing it in our culture.

iammovingsoon · 30/06/2012 20:10

Before she was born I knew I would let her self-wean (currently 15 months).

discrete · 30/06/2012 20:13

I always meant to do 6 months ebf, but it took me 4.5 months to get bf properly established and ds1 had a cow's milk protein allergy, so I just stuck to it.

With ds2 I always felt I would offer him the chance to carry on as long as ds1 had.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 30/06/2012 20:17

My first child I fed for 10 months before stopping as carrying on just wasn;t practical- I was on my own with her, had a full time and then some job, and was expressing three times a day in a toilet. With my second, I didnt have that pressure so I suppose I just always assumed that if he wanted to, I'd just let him carry on. I fed him til 2.10 and actually at the end I was a bit desperate for him to stop, despite my best intentions. My third is now just 12 weeks and I've already had my first 'are you still feeding him?' comment :( . I do intend to go to a year, but I'm not sure past that.

5madthings · 30/06/2012 20:24

it was never something i thought about tbh, my attitude was i would give bfeeding a go, i did with ds1 and he fed till 18mths and self weaned, then again with ds2 i bfed, he just didnt stop and ended up feeding until he was almost 4yrs old, not planned it just happened, i had ds3 when ds2 was 2yrs 4mths so ended up tandem feeding. i never gave it much thought it was just how it worked out, ditto having ds4 whilst ds3 was still feeding.

tripletipple · 30/06/2012 20:25

Before DS was born I thought that if we managed to establish bf with no problems I would probably do it for 2 years or so, as at the time I believed that was around the age they tended to self wean anyway based on WHO guidelines and a friend's experience. When he got to 2 and was still going at it like a steam train, I read that between 2 and 4 was an average age to self wean . I hoped he would be nearer the 2 end as I wasn't enjoying it anymore. He is now 4.3 and although definitely tailing off, he is nowhere near done yet. I hate it now, it makes my toes curl, but having come this far........

Springforward · 30/06/2012 20:32

I didn't choose, it just happened really. I went to never offer never refuse at 18 mo and I chose to stop at 23 months. I think he would have self weaned very soon anyway tbh.

forthill · 01/07/2012 13:52

My 13-month old has given me the sack in the past week. Every time I offer her a boob she says "No no" and shakes her head vehemently. So that's it, I guess. I'm quite sad about it but she's had a good innings.

MoaningMinnieWhingesAgain · 01/07/2012 13:55

I did it by accident really. About 9/10 months DH asked me a few times when I was going to stop. I said, 'Er, I'm not sure but not yet'

Stopped when he self weaned at 2.

missmaviscruet · 01/07/2012 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whatinthewhatnow · 01/07/2012 14:22

1st child I said 1 year but then he still seemed such a baby and didn't eat much food and loved bf so i just carried on - stopped when dd was born when he was 2.2 dd is now 2.2 and not really sure when i'll stop, I'm just started to get a bit bored of it, but not enough to go through weaning her.

TruthSweet · 01/07/2012 15:08

When DD1 was really little (and prior to birth!) I thought everyone stopped bfing at 6m and that it wasn't possible to carry on past that point. Then as I kept looking for ways to get DD1 to bf directly and to up my supply (I was pumping 12 times a day and still wasn't making enough to give her just ebm and she wasn't bfing very well at all so most feeds were bottles) I found out about women who did bf past 6m but I didn't pay much attention to it as I was so trapped in the 'get her to bf' loop.

When DD1 was 4m and had been bfing directly for 2m I found out about self weaning (Kathy Dettwyler and BabyCenter US in particular) and decided that was the way to go for us but I doubted I'd bf a child of 4y. DD1 bf for 3y 6m until she self weaned. DD2 is now 4y 7m and DD3 is 2y 8m and both 'still' bfing so I have certainly gone past the 4y limit I have no idea when DD2 will stop bfing but I have found it doesn't matter to me, she will stop when she is ready.

mawbroon · 01/07/2012 15:38

Originally I was going to do six months, then a year, then two years. By that time, ds1 was intolerant to cows' milk, so carrying on beyond two seemed like a sensible thing to do diet wise.

Still waiting for him to wean....

MrsBovary · 01/07/2012 15:42

No, it was going to be for six months, then one year. Then I just decidede to let dd self-wean, which she did, at just over two years of age.

blueshoes · 01/07/2012 15:53

I did not set out to be an extended bf-er. I only wanted to do the bare minimum. But my dcs had other ideas ... Bf-ed ds till he was 3.

TimeWasting · 02/07/2012 21:45

When I started I said I would kill meself to get to 6 months, and it nearly felt it at times, but hadn't really thought beyond that. But I think I'd probably decided to go til at least 2 as I was on these boards before he was born and knew the score.
I wish I'd let him self-wean, but I found it just horrible when I was pregnant. 2years 10months ain't bad though.

DD is now nearly 9 months, practically newborn still.
I'll aim for 2, with the intention of allowing her to self-wean.

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