Combination feeding didn't work for me, please share experiences

[PandaSpaniel]

My DS is 16 weeks old and I initially wanted to breast feed, however due to him having a touch of reflux (which has now gone thank goodness) and me not being sure if I could take my medication (I can) I wanted to combination feed.

I tried combination feeding him but he got nipple confusion and started to refuse the bottle.

I then tried breast feeding exclusively and although my milk supply was fine and I had a BFing consultant check the latch etc. he fed every 2 hours morning and night and after just over a week of this I was ready to collapse in a little heap and was in tears constantly.

I left baby with his daddy for the night and he took the bottle and is now having bottles with no problems.

I am still expressing twice a day so he is still getting breast milk as well as formula. I just wanted to share my experience to show its not as easy as just putting baby to the breast and voila and also has anyone got anything they would like to share.

I need to ease my guilt at not being able to breast feed :(

Well done for not giving up straigght away. They do go through phases of seeming like they are attatched to you 24/7 but it does pass. You could always try to bf again if you want to as you are expressing but should not feel preassured to do so. It is nice that dad can give feeds too as makes life easier for you.

Hi , I tried breast feeding, was readmitted to hospital with 13.5 % weight loss for 4 days. Did some combo feeding but ended up on just formula and she is putting on great weight- happy baby , happy parents. Do not feel guilty/ there is do much pressure out there to breast feed but sometimes it doesn't pan out and baby will still do well on the bottle !

Our little girl has now made excellent weight gain and I'd sleeping well at night :-x

I don't think anything can prepare you for how relentless bfing can be, try not to beat yourself up about it, you haven't given your baby a bottle full of poison, and I'm sure in 20 years time your ds won't resent you for giving up or losing heart with it.

I gave up after 6 weeks, with hindsight i wouldn't change that decision, I was miserable, I couldn't cope and the day I made the decision was the worst day of my life, but the next day I was a little less stressed, and 9 months later I know it was the right one.

Breast is best for baby, but you need to be happy doing it, I resented my daughter crying with hunger for 6 weeks, I hated to see her rooting for my breast I used to feel physically sick.

My DD is now a healthy, happy mummys girl, I love her more than life itself and I know someday I can tell her that I did everything in my power to feed her, including losing my sanity.

I am happy knowing that he is still getting some breast milk and I hope to continue until August.

I really wish I could have kept going but tbh I much prefer expressing as although it is really tedious I can keep an eye on how much the lil one is having.

Its really sad that there is so much pressure on women to BF but not much advice if you try to combination feed.

I wouldn't call that not being able to breastfeed, it's perfectly normal for them to feed that often (or more!) to start with, and you didn't have any other problems once you got going. You just chose not to continue.

That feeding frenzy phase doesn't last long though, in terms of the length of time they're going to be children living with you. And there are ways to get more sleep (e.g. co-sleep including for daytime naps). In fact research shows breastfeeding co-sleeping mothers get the most sleep despite waking up more often (less disturbance as you just roll over to feed them, and the oxytocin helps you relax back to sleep).

I resent my mother for mix-feeding me (I was the third child, the first two were exclusively breast-fed, so it can't have been lack of knowledge, and there was a big age gap so she wasn't running around after them constantly), so don't be too sure they won't be annoyed about it later!

sc2987 I tried very hard to exclusively breast feed and I don't appreciate your comments. I had advice off a NCT consultant, my health visitor and a breast feeding support worker and my health visitor said that as he had nipple confusion it was better to stick with one method of feeding and that she personally thought in my case it would be better to express and feed by bottle as at 14 weeks he was still feeding every two hours and didnt seem settled.

The moment he had expressed milk he started to do four hours between feeds and is much happier and settled.

Also I think you are talking bull sh*t about my child resenting me. My DS1 couldnt have breast milk as he had a severe intolerance to lactose and he is now a healthy happy 7 year old and doesn't care how he was fed, I think you are a bit sad to resent your mother over mix feeding.

Oh and I did and still do co-sleeping, it didnt make a difference to how often he fed and it keeps me up as I am paranoid of squashing him so I don't sleep as well. I tend to only do it during the day now as I enjoy having a snuggle with him.

I was formula fed and no resentment. I don't agree that baby will be upset in years to come. Do what suits you both best and hold your head high. Breast feeding doesn't always work out and don't feel guilty. Just watch your baby grow and thrive however you choose to feed !

Sc1987, you resent your mother because she didn't ebf you? That's really nice. Personally I didn't even know how I was fed until I asked my mum and quite frankly I couldn't care less - its a very short period of time in a lifetime of parenting. There is a lot more to being a mother than the type of milk you feed your child. Have you ever considered being a breastfeeding counseller? No? Good.

Panda, you do not need to feel guilty. You have bf for 16 weeks and plan to express for another 2 months which is a lot longer than the majority of women in the UK despite the impression you might get from mumsnet that everyone else manages to ebf for 6 months - actually the last (2005 so a little out of date) published figure is about 7% of women ebf for 4 months

candr I would like to BF again but am uncertain as to whether or not my milk supply would increase enough to exclusively BF and also would it cause nipple confusion again in the time that I am having to top up his feeds. I was planning on giving up in August anyway when he would be ready to start weaning. I will see how it goes

ceeveebee Thank you, I recognise you from my other thread about combination feeding.

Bollox they will resent you, if you have a loving relationship with your mother you wouldn't resent the woman for something so trivial, you clearly have deeper issues.

Bf is nice if you can do it, research leads us to believe its better but tbh isn't conclusive other than gut instinct that natural is best really. Sometimes baby and mother do better on ff, I am currently bf, combined then ff first time and have to say I think the difference in bonding is mainly on mothers heads, my bond feels no different to either it's a way of getting food in them that's all!

Judgemental idiotic posts like yours are what acts as dividers between ff and bf fraternities, every mother is right in their choice no matter what.

Panda don't listen to narrow minded people who talk absolute dung.

Because they are the people that give breastfeeders a bad name and encourage the myth that they are all on soap boxes.

As for resenting your mother SC1987, I hope someday you can forgive her for that awful,terrible abuse she inflicted on you. She sounds like an utterly terrible mother, I wouldst blame you for writing a book about her awful treatment of you. Catch a grip FFS, some mothers chain their children to radiators and make them lie in their own shit and you resent yours for MIX feeding you.

Bollocks.

DS1 would not open his mouth after birth trauma. I expressed solidly for 3 months 12 times a day and went a bit mad. DS2 arrived beautifully, latched on, fed for 2 weeks them I had awful infection and the pills made him sick so gave formula. After they ended I tried to feed, he refused so I expressed once and it was so loud and unproductive that I thought sod this bring on the Aptimil! they are 5 and 3 now, in great health and are generally fabulous. And 2nd time round I didn't go mental!

Well said tangointhenight don't worry peeps I don't listen to idiots like her. I wanted to share my experience to show others that there are mums out there who find BFing difficult and that it is nothing to be ashamed of or to feel guilty about if it doesn't work out.

Yes I think everyone should give it a try but I respect that some mums just don't want to for whatever personal reasons and that it doesn't make a difference to a mums bond with their child one lil bit. Both my children are my world and that isn't dependant on how they are fed.

Resenting your mother for mix feeding you? That's... I can't choose an appropriate adjective. Surreal?!

Is there any grounding for that, sc? I'm fascinated.

Resurrecting my thread to add that at 19 weeks my lil one is almost exclusively breast fed. I decided to give it one last attempt and my milk supply has increased and lil one is no longer getting nipple confusion. He is happy to have a bottle but prefers breast.

Feel very lucky that it has finally worked out for me, with lots of support from a breast feeding counsellor and NCT.

Well done PandaSpaniel, its bloody hard work and I hope you allow yourself to be very proud :)

Panda great that things have worked out for you. I found breast feeding really hard at the beginning and kept switching back and forth. Every day was going to be my 'last day'of breast feeding. At around 14 weeks I suddenly found it a lot easier and from then on she was breast fed with just a bottle of formula in the evening. It was the definitely the right thing for me as I clearly wasn't ready to stop but was just completely knackered and overwhelmed by the idea of something being so dependent on me.

I'm kinda of annoyed I didn't leave my cat for longer with it's Mum because she's got lots of allergies and all of her fur fell out when my son was teething.

I have no issue with my own mum formula feeding me

violet thanks, I think my lovely friend from the NCT should take the credit not me, as without her support I would def have given up.

jollyb I am also giving just one bottle in an evening, it seems to help fill him up for bed.

Hoping he stays happy and content through the next big step... weaning