feeling miserable need advice

[Mammahippo]

I'm feeling miserable about my DS sleeping and feeding - he is 7 and a half months. He goes to bed about 8:30 having been fed. I make every effort to put him in the cot awake, but sometimes he's so tired he's asleep before his head touches the mattress. He then wakes several times in the night (usually something like 11,2:30, 5, 7. Though every night is different). He expects to be fed and is enraged if not fed. When fed he returns to sleep quickly. I don't want to go down the CC route but am getting desperate for more sleep. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone I know as they all either have babies that sleep through, are ff babies, or they have done CC, or all of the above. I'm toying with refusing to feed between midnight and 6, but I also feel that the loving thing to do is to be patient and wait for him to grow out of night feeding/waking in his own time.I worried however that in waiting for him to do this I'm risking a bigger battle when he's older - maybe I just need to get it over with now???????

Many hugs. Honestly at 7 months he's still small and probably still hungry. if he settles quickly with a feed make the most of it. Honestly it will pass

My DD is almost 3 and has got the hang of sleeping through in the past 6 months (still not consistent) They are all different and sleep deprivation is the pits but honestly this is really really normal

Mammahippo, give yourself a break! You're tired, you're worried for your DS, and you sound to me like a lovely responsive mama who doesn't want anyone to suffer undue upset.

So.

Have you tried safe co-sleeping? It's not uncommon for babies of his age to wake frequently to nurse (remember it's not just 'food', it's hydration, comfort, he gets a lovely hit of sleepy hormones, and a cuddle from his mother) and if he's already in bed with you, it's just a quick latch on then everyone can snooze again.

Have you read (or heard of) The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? It's full of very gentle, pro-BF suggestions to get babies to sleep better. You can take what you need from it and leave what you don't think will work, but there's absolutely no CC.

If you don't want to night wean completely, there are ways to reduce the number of nursing sessions to maybe a more manageable 1 or 2 overnight. Have you tried having someone else (don't want to presume you've a DP who can step up) settle him at night? There may be some crying with this but crying angrily for boob while in the arms of a loving parent is very different to being left crying alone in the dark with his upset ignored and unvalued. Will he take a sip of water at all at night? If you do night wean completely then you lose a valuable comforting tool when he's ill, teething or growth spurting, which will essentially result in more sleep lost.

It will pass. At what age, who knows, but you won't be feeding him to sleep at 10, or 15. It's so hard to keep things in context when you're blimming knackered but it will get better.

Also remember, people LIE about their babies sleeping through. They really do.

I second co sleeping, I don't bf but my DD has had terrible pain with teething and cuddles from mama were all that would soothe her.

Poor you, its tough. Are you sure he's getting enough to eat in the day? Plenty of protein and carbs as his last meal?

Not sure where you are with BFing / weaning etc but for both my DS's (both big strong HUNGRY boys!) I gave them formula for final night feed at 10:30pm and on a good day got DH to give it so I could go to bed at 9pm and get a decent few hours' sleep before I had to get up to them at 2am or whatever. My parenting mantra is 'Feed 'em up and wear 'em out' and generally it works! Make sure your little one is well fed last thing at night and get to bed as early as you can. Big un-Mumsnetty hugs, it's a difficult time but it will get better I promise

Oh my DD was exactly like this - same wake up times and everything. I didn't get more than 3 hours until she was 8 months. She fed and would nod straight back off but it was tough on me. For a while, expressing a bottle so DH could do the first wake up worked.

However, I have to say that I took it really slowly with weaning to solids. The HV said maybe she needed more protein. I'd barely given her meat at around 7 - 8 months. I upped the protein a little and she started sleeping through much to my relief! She's 2 and a half now and a great sleeper. I think she was waking in genuine hunger and I'm really glad I fed her and didn't try to sleep train her out if it.

Where are you at with weaning ?

Thanks for all the quick responses. We do co-sleep after 6am - a silly rule I've set myself as I don't want to co-sleep all night but do find it very effective for ensuring DS sleeps in until a civilised time. I have been trying to follow some of the advice in the No Cry Sleep Solution - I suppose I'm just frustrated that it doesn't seem to be having much impact, but I think this probably just reveals that I'm too impatient.

We are doing baby-led weaning and on the whole, DS is quite a good eater, He's just got the botton two teeth so that helps, and I think the feed'em and 'tire 'em out strategy is right. I suppose tonight I've ended up in tears because DS basically ate nothing at dinner (I'd cooked lovely salmon and potatoes) and I fear this means I'll be up all night.

I wonder how much protein a baby needs? I think I certainly offer lots, but maybe not enough...

Why did he not eat his dinner? I do blw, well sort of, her last meal of the day I sit with her and make sure she eats it, if not I feed her it. I also feed her mashed banana and yogurt. All her other meals are finger foods but I found in the evening she got so tired and lazy and so wouldn't eat herself. Her last milk feed is usually about 1.5 hours after dinner and then its lights out for the next 10 hours and she sleeps right through, unless of course her teeth bother her.

You can try the whole 'feed em up' thing, and good luck with it, I know plenty who swear by it, but it's no guarantee. my DS is a solids piggy, eats everything out in front of him, and I always try to carb & protein him up for his last meal. Does DIDDLY for his sleep! I honestly think they're all different and do it in their own time. In the meantime work on damage limitation for yourself and sanity.

Co sleep. My ds is one tmrw and I am yet to have a uninterrupted nights sleep since he was born! He is a big boy and eats like a horse but still drinks for England at night. We co sleep and it really does make a difference to the amount of sleep you get. If its any consolation he is just starting to feed a little less in the night, so I think it's just a natural progression and the same will happen for you in time.