It's not going as well as I thought....

[shinysideup]

I'm hoping someone out there might be able to give me some advice please. I am breastfeeding my 14wo DS2. I thought things were going ok, not brilliant but manageable until HV came on Monday for 12wk check. He has now dropped 2 centiles from birth - although he is gaining, the curve is a bit shallow. GP not too worried and says feed as often as poss. HV says try to increase time between feeds so he's not snacking.
When he feeds he often falls asleep and as he doesn't sleep much during the day anyway I have been leaving him to sleep. Since this problem became apparent I have been poking him (gently) to wake him and then offering other side which he is taking though v sleepy sucks. I'm hoping this might help with weight gain.
The other issue is that he will only feed laying down on the bed. If I try to feed him elsewhere he screams like I'm trying to poison him! This is making it difficult to go anywhere as he won't take a bottle either. I keep trying different positions. He will occasionally feed while we're out but v unpredictable and often results is a manic dash home with screaming inconsolable baby :(
Anyone else experienced anything like this? Any suggestions would be gratefully received.
Thanks

Aw it's normal for babies to be sleepy on the breast as they suckle for comfort not just for fuel - but this means he is stimulating your milk supply which in turn will mean you produce more milk - this is what you want so he can get more milk inside him. I think your HV is wrong actually - you should feed more often not less. feeding him less often will result in lower milk supply and then you may find it difficult to produce enough. "Snacking" isn't what he is doing, he is suckling for comfort as well as to stimulate your milk supply and that's a good thing. He may find upright feeding difficult because the milk can flow too quickly like that, lying down it flows more slowly and some babies prefer that. He may simply find it more relaxing lying down but that's not a bad thing - although it does make it awkward if you are out! It's possible that he also gets trapped wind that's what's causing the difficulty with other positions and screaming etc. Have you tired Infacol or any other wind relief? This may improve his ability to deal with a faster milk flow in a more upright position. I personally always found it more relaxing for me to lie back, not down fully but not upright and I never enjoyed feeding upright as it just made my back ache! I'd not be overly concerned about dropping a few centiles unless he isn't pooing and weeing much or seems ill or dehydrated - if he was large at birth he may not gain weight as quickly as a smaller baby who needs to "catch" up. Does his weight match his length in the centiles? Does he look in proportion for his length? Breastfed babies are often not as "fat" looking as formula fed ones anyway, ours never was and still isnt at 21 months, despite being tall (98th centile) but she is not underweight either.

If you think he seems healthy I wouldn't worry, and after getting the 'make them go longer' talk from my HV and it being totally wrong for us I would ignore that!

Thanks for your replies.
joyful - we do co sleep sometimes and he feeds beautifully at night. Proper sucks, swallowing and seems to be very efficient at night! I'll try leaning back to feed and see if that makes any difference.
gourd - it could be fast flow, he does splutter sometimes when we are upright but never lying down. He seems really well in every way apart from weight gain. He looks healthy, lots of wet and dirty nappies. Length centile is 25-50th, weight is 2nd - 9th. Weight at birth was between 25th and 50th. I think he looks perfect in every way but I maybe slightly biased!
In some ways I'm not worried because he does look the picture of health but at the same time, this may be an early warning that he's not getting enough nutrition. It does make sense to feed more not less!
I did go to the breastfeeding support group yesterday - we had 40 minutes of awful screaming when I tried to feed him although I know he was hungry. Eventually he did feed but we were all pretty frazzled by then.
I'll try with the different positioning and see if that makes a difference.
Thanks again

Grr, why do HVs give such BF advice?

What other people said, keep offering the boob as often as possible.

Good luck!

Ditto on the feed as often as possible. Have you tried feeding him in a sling during the day? Not a Baby Bjorn/Mothercare type one, they're rubbish. I would normally suggest a stretchy wrap for young babies but as he's 3 months old now you might as well try a soft structured carrier like a Manduca/Ergo (may need infant insert for the Ergo). There may be a sling group near you (try Facebook) who may lend you one.