Conflicting information, advice pleas

[Bumper1]

Hello everyone
I'm 3 weeks into bf and although I don't particularly enjoy it, I want to do it for as long as possible to give my DS the best start I can.

My bfc advised that I feed from 1 breast at each feed to make sure that he gets hind milk. Friends always offer both breasts at every feed. Is there a right or wrong way of doing it? Also he takes about 40-60 mins to be satisfied and only settles for about an hour before waking to feed again. That is normal isn't it? Bf is so demanding!

Thanks for any advice

You should offer both breasts at every feed - and there is nothing wrong at all in offering alternate breasts every time they come off too.
The hind/fore milk thing doesn't matter at all as your body and the baby sort it all out between them.

Yes, it's normal to feed constantly. If it helps think of it this way- your baby is not just feeding but learning how to feed. One day he will get so efficient that he will empty out a breast in under 15 mins. At first bf-ing is isolating, boring and painful.nseems so much easier to bottle feed. But one day, and the day WILL come, bfing will be more efficient.

If it helps keep a log of which breast you fed from, this helped me a lot when I was sleep deprived. But don't get hung up on which breast you are feeding from. My child often had what i called an 'irrational boob preference' and I just switched to that one.

Finally, if it helps, set ourself a short term target. I told myself six weeks, I will do this thing for six weeks. This was at my tired, knackered, sore boobed worst. At the six week mark I thought, hmm...I can go a bit longer, and now he's almost six months! The first six weeks are the hardest. Get someone to make you tea, keep a book/iPad/Kindle on hand and just feed, feed and feed. Good luck and congratulations on your newborn!

When I began breastfeeding I would always offer both breasts but start on alternate breasts for each feed. As I relaxed into it (about 12 weeks for me to get the hang of it) I just offered whichever booby was most convenient at the time. It took us a while to get the hang of feeding on demand too - sometimes she would feed every hour, and other times not want anything for a while.

It's also true that a lot of women don't enjoy breastfeeding, it's just one of those jobs that has to be done. I didn't like breastfeeding, what I did like was the extra sleep and not having to bother sterilising bottles or thinking about what to take with me if I wanted to go out somewhere.

Agree with CMOT - offer both sides at each feed, if baby is only interested in one side then that's fine but he may take the other side or even want to go back to the first side (or to the 2nd side again!) and that's fine too.

The more frequently the baby feeds and the more 'sides' they take the greater the supply will be. Feeding on one side means that you are actually feeding less (one side may have 2 or more hours between feeds which will be telling that side to make less milk).

Thank you all for your help. Also thank you for saying things I've been trying not to say, I have been finding bf isolating, boring and painful but knowing that I'm not the only one to think so is really helpful!

Hang in there Bumper - everybody says it gets easier and I didn't believe them. Then one day I suddenly realised I was feeding and it wasn't hurting.

If there is a support group near you, it does help to meet other mums going through the same issues.

Thanks worldgonecrazy. There are 2 groups near me so I'll try one out this week

It is all of those things, and I also found the constant thinking about breastfeeding as tiring and draining as the feeding itself. It gets better so quickly though, honestly. You'll find it settles a lot after 6 weeks, gets easier still at 9 weeks and becomes something that's quite lovely (hopefully!) by 12 weeks. I've had a real love/hate relationship with BF but we're now at 4 months and I already know we'll keep going beyond 6.

I started out just offering one boob per feed and putting a hair band on the opposite wrist to remind myself which one to offer at the next. At about your stage I started offering both and found that DD was more satisfied and easier to settle. Drove myself mad researching fore/hind milk - don't worry about it and just feed whenever there's a grumble or moan.

As with everything baby related, this too shall pass - my mum has a saying, which I used to say out loud to myself during the dark early days of being trapped on the sofa for hours on end.. 'The days can be long, but the years are short.'

You're doing brilliantly.

I was advised to only offer one breast per feed and that has always worked out for us.

Like you and pogger I found the conflicting views on one or two breasts per feed to be one of hte most confusng parts of bf. Like pogger I started out with advice to offer one, and then decided for myself to try offering both breasts at each feed, and I too found that this suited us better.

A trained bfc - a real one - would never say to feed one breast per feed unless the baby clearly indicated he did not want more.

Who was it told you this???

Sorry to jump in but, tiktok, I was actually told the same by a bfc - she said to only do one breast per feed because small babies don't need more than this and it ensures they reach the hind milk. I decided to offer both but this was only instinct, not based on the advice. The bfc was registered with the assoc of lactation consultants.

Pogger - was this in Ireland? There is an Association of Lactation Consultants in Ireland but there isn't an Association of Lactation Consultants in the UK (there is a UK branch of the International Lactation Consultant Association - their members are identified by IBCLC after their name).

Surprisingly Lactation consultant isn't a protected profession like Podiatrist or Doctor so anyone can call themselves a LC even if they have never seen a woman bf in their life let alone done it themselves or studied for years.

Tiktok it was my local bf co-ordinator. She advised one breast per feed, if he hadn't fed for long to wake him up and put him back on the same breast. She is enjoyed by NHS and is a midwife by background I think.

Without wanting to hijack the thread completely (sorry Bumper) - TruthSweet, really?! Have just had a look for the business card she gave me and it definitely says Association of Lactation Consultants. I live in north London! Am a bit p*ssed off now - the session wasn't cheap and I assumed that all consultants had to be formally trained etc.

There seems to be such a massive varistion in skills/expertise that it's hard to know who to listen to . Most of us end up muddling through but it's not really good enough.

Bumper - did/do you have an oversupply? That's the sort of information you might share with a mum with an oversupply as a first step to lowering her supply (this is before trying other things like block nursing for longer periods). It's not something I would advise (not that we should advise anyway!) to a mother of a new baby as a matter of course.

Variation, not varistion.

You could try looking on here to see if her name comes up with in the International Lactation Consultants Association's register (perhaps she is using an old name for the org on her business card [not that I know it's an old name IYSWIM so I am clutching at straws here!]).

I just would hope there is not someone going round giving controversial info out and claiming to be part of an org that doesn't seem to exist! That would be severely dubious behaviour and would cast grave doubts (for me at least) on the level of training she had.

Sorry I should clarify I am not a breastfeeding counsellor just training to be one but I am a bfing peer/mother supporter so was commenting on that role.

I don't think breastfeeding counsellor is a protected term either, anyone can say they are one just look at Clare Byam-Cook. I'm sure there are good independent ones but they are a bit of an unknown quantity. Anyone representing a breastfeeding/parenting organisation (NCT, LLL, ABM, BFN etc) is required to meet a certain level of training and keep up to date with research so you are a bit more certain of the information you are getting then.

I've never come across an Association of Lactation Consultants in the UK.

The British association is LCGB - it's not a supervisory association but a professional one. Lactation consultants are different from breastfeeding counsellors, and even if they are IBCLCs ('International Board Certified' LCs) they actually don't have as much supervision/support/compulsory inservice as a volunteer breastfeeding counsellor. Many lactation consultants are great at being all-rounders - good counselling skills as well as good tech knowledge of bf, but to be honest you cannot assume that with all of them. But you would expect them to have more technical knowledge of more difficult situations than a bfc.

I would not assume that a midwife feeding co-ordinator was great at bf support and knowledge, sadly - they are varied in their skills and knowledge. I mean, anyone talking about only ever offering one side per session as a routine because of needing to get the hindmilk is showing their limitations, and they really cannot be a breastfeeding counsellor with NCT/LLL/BfN/ABM (the vol orgs in the UK) because this is not what is taught by these bodies - and I have never heard of any of my colleagues or tutors saying this.

(In some situations of oversupply, one sided feeding is appropriate - I am referring to what is told to mothers routinely)

Pogger, I do wonder about the person who charged you for her help, and what her credentials are......