17 days into BF, starting to flag, the magic 6 weeks seems like ages away....

[smk84]

Hi (again, my millionth post recently!). Just starting to lose my positivity with BF, it has been really hard work, trying to take one feed at a time but I am feeling the pressure of tiredness and feeling like my lovely boy is constantly sucking and trying to get more than I have. He does have naps during the day and sleeps quite well at night, but the frantic feeding sessions in the evenings I am starting to dread more and more, and some of them seem to be in the daytime too. I was told to expect a growth spurt between 10 and 14 days (which I think did happen), and I know that every BF relationship is different, but would really value any encouragement and light at the end of the tunnel comments. I feel like we have worked so hard , I really don't want to start thinking that we need to consider other ways of feeding :(

Is it worth expressing for the evening feed? Just a thought to maybe make it easier on yourself if it's getting a bit fraught.

Are you eating enough?

And the first few weeks are hard regardless of the way you feed btw! You'd be the same if you were ff, mix feeding, whatever! It's bloody hard work!

Hi smk84

Day 17 was the day when I had a complete meltdown and phoned La Leche League, cried uncontrollably down the phone at the lady, and then got put in touch with a Peer Support lady through the hospital. It was the best thing I ever did, and I ended up bf until DD was 9 months old.

She was a comfort suckler, she would happily suckle 24/7, and I thought I had every problem going. I was convinced that I didn't have enough milk, because I just couldn't seem to keep up with her demand. I did the same as you, took it one feed at a time. We did have a tin of formula on standby, and I just went into each feed thinking "well, I'll do this feed, but if I can't handle doing the next one, she can have formula." but she only had formula for one bottle, at midnight, so that DP could feed her and I could have a few hours unbroken sleep.

With hindsight, I didn't do myself any favours giving that one bottle, because even though it enabled me to sleep, it does also affect milk production. Your baby is feeding constantly to encourage your milk production to increase, it is so tiring I know, but it really will calm down and get easier.

A friend told me "I tried to bf but had to give up at 10 weeks" - I remember 10 weeks feeling like it was a hundred years away! It's not though. If you are determined, you will do it. I firmly believe that it is sheer bloody-minded stubbornness that kept me going, with encouragement from the peer support lady.

You can do it! It will get so much easier!

You need this cluster feeding to establish your supply, keep going, it really is worth it!

Somethings that might help

A sling. This can help comfort and hold a baby close while you say eat lunch, go to the toilet, brush your teeth.

Someone else making you something to eat for dinner that you can eat one handed.

Feeding lying down. If you can master this you can take yourself off to bed for a couple of hours in the day.

Hi, I have a 17 day old constant feeder too! It is really hard work and I'm latching her on to seemingly empty boobs half the time. This is my third baby so I know there is light at the end of the tunnel but the tunnel seems so far away doesn't it?! I agree with the feeding lying down (on bed not sofa). We are co-sleeping in the safe C position which is making nights more bearable. TBH this is 1st time I've not buckled into a FF top up (bf'ed til 11m and 9m though) but I know it won't really help in the long term. Is your DC a bit more windy these past couple of days? Dd2 is really bad today so she's lying on me as won't settle anywhere else. Ignore the 'making rod for your own back' comments and do what you can to get through these first few weeks. Oh and also, YOU ARE DOING REALLY WELL

Hi smk54.

Just wanted to encourage you to keep at it! My LO is 5wks old, and I think things got easier for us at 4ish wks. I spent the first few in so much pain due to blessings cracked nipples, not helped by the constant feeding and long evenings of cluster feeding (sometimes 6 hours with only 5min naps in between!).

Things have now settled down a lot -a lot less pain, more regular routine in the evenings (still cluster feeding, but not to the same ridiculous extent!), and it's generally much more enjoyable! I think DD can tell that too - must make a difference that her mother isn't bracing herself, holding her breath and counting, and almost in tears every feed due to nipple pain. I've also come to accept the long evening stretches, and settle down with a book, phone, something like that.. makes them more enjoyable!

As Jumper said, I think little goals are the key..!

You can do it! Well done, you are doing so well. My son was a comfort suckler. It used to drive me crazy being super glued to the sofa. It will get easier, it will.

You are doing fantastic! My DD is one month old and I would say its only past couple days we've really got the hang of BF. She still cluster feeds in evening but by doing this she gives me a good 4 hours unbr

(grrr, keys too close together on bloody phone!) Broken sleep before next feed. I got to same point as you and had to force myself to carry on as it was hard but honestly it's so worth it. Hoping to wait another 4 weeks until I express and DH can do her middle of the night feed at weekends or I can leave her to go and finally get my roots done!

Keep at it, you really should be proud of yourself for getting this far already.

smk I went through the same feelings the first two weeks DS was home. I felt like I hated BFing. However, mainly due to my inherent laziness, I kept at it because I knew I didn't want to have to deal with the faff of cleaning/sterilising/making up bottles, particularly when out and about.

Then at around 6 weeks, those unhappy feelings melted away - I was amazed. Ok I still have feeds where I'm thinking "urgh not again", but for the most part it has become routine and sort of second nature.

Another 4 weeks must feel a lifetime away right now, but you will get there in no time, and things will be different I'm sure.

Good luck, you can do it

Hi OP, my DS is 8 weeks and 2 days and like yours seemed to be constantly on me cluster feeding in the evenings. This is much better now, he's generally feeding 3-4 hourly in the day then anything between 5 and 8 hours at night.

If you can, stick with it, I know it's hard. Expressing did help me, at least then DH could help out and give him a bottle which meant my boobs didn't feel quite so invaded, but expressing isn't for everyone I realise that.

4 weeks does sound like a lifetime away when you're sleep deprived, but it does turn a corner at around 6 weeks

Did you get the possibility of tongue tie investigated? I know you mentioned it on another thread.

Have a read of this here

It takes somebody who really knows what they are doing to find some ties as they can even be hidden in the floor of the mouth.

DS1 had tt and it went undiagnosed. He fed all the time and slept at the breast but cried if he was taken off. It was constant, draining and thoroughly exhausting. But there was no pain. Please look at the link!

You mentioned co sleeping in the safe C position, what is that?

thanks so much everyone, i think i would havr givrn up b4 if not for mumsnet. had awful day today - feels like he has been feeding non stop , he then cries for more, or he falls asleep then gets woken up by wind and wants to feed again. this went on for 3 hours around lunch, so ended up taking him out in the car. have had 2 meltdowns today so it's good to read your comments again on here in advance of our cluster feeding tonight. mawbrron thank you, that has been on my mind today, esp as he struggles to latch when he is tired (not sure if that;s a symptom but it sometimes feels like his tongue is in the way of my nipple). our infant feeding advisor mentioined tt, looked but didn't feel for one. she said we would be referred if he didn't start to gain weight but he is gaining now, so i wonder whether i can go somewhere privately to get it checked out. i have posted a thread tonight about switch nursing, but just in case any of you might know... when should I switch? is it after he stops actively sucking (i.e. when he seems to have fallen asleep? Thank you so much again, I have fab support but knowing people who have been through this really helps.

Keep going OP, I promise you it DOES get better. I'm waving at you from the shores of 7 months EBF here! I never, EVER thought I would be in the position I am now and am so glad I stuck with it.

And oddly enough, I now even miss the cluster feeding days, crazy I know, as I got loads of reading done!

It definitely does get better, I didn't believe it but next week we hit the 6 month Mark and will keep going. I NEVER thought I would get here, but with each day it just got easier and now it's second nature. You are doing amazingly well and are doing the right thing by taking it one feed at a time. I used to say, I breastfed yesterday, I'm breastfeeding today and I will try and breastfeed tomorrow.

I remember those awful evenings of cluster feedings and colicy screaming baby when she wasn't feeding. I used to cry and wonder what i was doing wrong, worry that she wasn't getting enough milk, worry she wasn't latched correctly etc. All i can say is you are doing a great job and like lots of people have said, take it one feed at a time. I promise it gets a lot easier- i remember things calmed down a little after 6 weeks, then a lot after 12, then by 4 months i finally began to actually enjoy it a little bit. By 5 months it is easy- feeds take around 10 min and babies actually do last the mythical 3-4hours between feeds. I never thought i would get to 6 weeks, but my baby girl is now 11months and am so pleased we made it this far. I can honestly say it is now a pleasure to have our little cuddle and feed.
You are doing a fantastic job. Well done to you.

thank you so much ! day 21 now, still have wobbles every day, but mn is keeping me going.