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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

PLEASE HELP- FEELING DESPERATE- BABY WANTS BOTTLE NOT BREAST!!!

16 replies

DaSmallPunsMum · 14/06/2012 21:58

At three weeks of age my now eight week old baby boy developed acid reflux, we tried to see if it would pass but it didn't and he was bringing up lots of breast milk all the time and therefore even hungrier than a normal three week old, he was breast feeding literally all day. We started him on the reflux medicine Ranitidine at six weeks old and it has been a godsend, he is no longer screaming in pain all day and is a happy baby. He only spits up a normal amount now yet seemed to be totally starving all the time and desperate to feed every 20 minutes after which he would usually feed for ten minutes every time then wait another 20 mins and then feed again. I am sure he was going through a growth spurt as he was so hungry and yet I still worried my milk supply was too low due to the fact i wasnt leaking milk dring the day ever and could not express milk out with any pumps i tried, including the hospitals one. Et whenever i hand cpressed milk cae out and often when breastfeeding baby my breast would literally spurt milk out like a sp, continuously in s thin stream for sometimes a minute withut stopping, so it was confusing. So two weeks ago around the time when we started the Ranitidine I was so paranoid about not having enough milk I introduced some bottles of Aptamil breast milk substitute type formula milk. He LOVED them and guzzled down two 8oz bottles in a hour!
He gained a lot of weight though I wasn't sure whether it was because of the bottles of the fact that he as now properly medicated for his reflux and therefore wasn't vomiting up most of his feeds like before and so gaining weight normally now. I think it was a bit of both as formula milk has a much higher caloric factor than breast milk. I know this breastmilk is more quickly absorbed by the babies system and that's also why he wanted to feed more, and he had regular wees so it is confusing as to whether the amount of breast milk he as getting was totally fine and I was and am just being a paranoid first time mum. Anyway since the introduction of the bottles two weeks ago he has been fussing at the breast, not latching properly and only feeding for short amounts of time before screaming for bottles. He would still feed wen he woke up at night at his usual times of 3am and 6am but for three days now he has refused point blank those feeds and I have had to give in and give him night bottle feeds too. Day feeds are very short and often only three times and the rest all bottle. He SCREAMS the house down hysterically for his bottle and spits the breast out now. He is definitely nipple confused and loves the fast let down of the bottle even though it is the slowest teat. I have tried breast feeding him when he is in a good mood and not starving, when hes just waking up, everything- no dice. He screams and screams scrunching his face up, flailing around red faced crying hysterically. When he gets his bottle he is so happy and relieved its traumatising. So today I decided to go bottle cold turkey for fear of my milk supply dwindling to nothing as I can't pump as I mentioned earlier. It was honestly so horrible. I practice Attachment Parenting and to hear my child crying in any way fills me with dread, and these were heart-wrenching, guttural sobs of his sheer desperate hunger, anger and confusion. He latched on to feed twice today for ten mins each time and in between I gave bottle as I was advised by a La Leche League member I called up on their helpline to not go cold turkey as it can be too distressing and give bottle in between the bf attemps. She told me to treat it like a drug addiction and wean him off the bottles by decreasing their amount but my milk supply will dwindle too as I can't hand express enough and also Im pretty sure her advice won't work as he just thinks If he cries enough he will get his bottle no matter how much is in it and will keep crying until he gets the amount he wants either way. When I tried the cold turkey today he just refused to feed almost all day. I don't want a starving baby on my ands and yet I am desperate to breastfeeding him at least to two years old and have that bond with him and give him what my body was made to do. I will check his weight if I can stablished breastfeeding again to check if my milk is enough by if he's gaining weight. If not obviously will just go to bottles only but if he is I'll be very happy. In the mean time though I am feeling so desperate. Is it possible to break this horrible cycle and get him to breastfeed again? How do I get him to stop screaming so hysterically for his bottles? I tried holding him, the sling, shushing, it all works to placate him but doesn't end his hunger or lead to him breastfeeding. I also tried placing a nipple guard over my breast and it didn't fool him. Please help I am so depressed and desperate and it's now or never. Sorry for the rant but I so badly need advice.

OP posts:
DaSmallPunsMum · 14/06/2012 22:08

HELPPPPP PLease guys!!!!

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HecateTrivia · 14/06/2012 22:16

I'm not a breastfeeding expert, so don't want to try to give advice on something so important to you, but you aren't alone. xx people who know about this will see this and come and help you.

TheMysteryCat · 14/06/2012 22:16

i'm sorry, i struggled to read the big block of text, and hope i've not missed anything.

Have you tried expressing off a little bit just before you breastfeed? you may find the flow of your milk is too fast for him (a fast letdown). this can happen particularly in the early weeks, whilst you and your baby get the right levels of milk for his needs.

You could also try adjusting feeding positions as well - lying down to feed can be very relaxing for mum and baby.

HecateTrivia · 14/06/2012 22:16

this as in your thread, not this as in my post Grin I'm not arrogant!

DaSmallPunsMum · 14/06/2012 22:17

Apologies for the typos by the way I am writing on a bloody iPad!! In the beginning bt where I just realised its really muddled I meant to say 'when I hand expressed it was confusing as lots came out though I couldnt pump using a breast pump, and sometimes when breastfeeding milk would flow out in a thin continuous stream like a hose pipe left on' x

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DaSmallPunsMum · 14/06/2012 22:21

To HecateTrivia- quite the opposite, he loves the faster flow of the bottle teat even though it's the slow teat, he hates that he has to work, using different muscles in his mouth and aw, to get milk out, whereas with a bottle he barely has to do any sucking work as it just flows in. He's being lazy! I have tried feeding lung down he hated it even before I introduced a bottle, he prefers me holding him cradled on his back in my lap, well- he dd before all this bottle craze began! Xx

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DaSmallPunsMum · 14/06/2012 22:22

Meant mouth and jaw not aw, and feeding him lying down now lung.ipad auto correct!

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TruthSweet · 14/06/2012 22:22

I'm off to bed in a second but didn't want to leave this unanswered. Have you seen the 'Help - My Baby Won't Nurse' section on Kellymom?

It isn't uncommon for reflux babies to have breast refusal/aversion due to the nature of reflux (they feed, they vomit, they're in pain ergo bfing = pain) but it can be dealt with. Hope you get a fuller answer than this soon but do try other helplines (National Bfing Helpline, NCT Helpline, etc)

DaSmallPunsMum · 14/06/2012 22:22

Not* lung godddd!

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DaSmallPunsMum · 14/06/2012 22:25

To TruthSweet, thanks for KellyMom refernce, but strange thing about his reflux was he never associated te pain with the breast as was too young to make the connection and so actually sought comfort in feeding. He also never had pain whilst feeding like most reflux babies do, it usually kicked in five mins after a feed when the acid rose up. X

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TheMysteryCat · 14/06/2012 22:25

i never managed to use a breastpump well and found hand expressing was fine, so please don't fret about that.

the amount you manage to get out expressing (by hand or pump) is never the same as the volume a baby can suckle, because they are much better at it! But, with persistence and technique, you may be able to increase theamount you express. If you can follow this link, there's lots of brilliant advice on expressing and some videos as well: kellymom

there are some experts in expressing on the boards though, who will know all the best ways to get expressing going effectively, so hopefully someone will come along soon to help with that.

sleeplessinderbyshire · 14/06/2012 22:34

I'm not an expert but have some personal experience. I appreciate you are trying to be all AP and child led but since you clearly do have a decent supply at present I'd trust your body and stop all bottles. If you can't bear to waste the money by binning them, give them to a friend to keep in another house and ditto the formula. Lots of skin to skin, snuggle up close in bed, feed in a dark room with some low level music. Try feeding in the bath. try walking round topless feeding and rocking, feed him in a sling etc etc. Lots of cuddles lots of boob access and NO BOTTLES. Babies are not stupid, they will not starve themselves to death. if you had low supply it would all be harder as you'd need to ensure you had enough milk to ensure he doesn't dehydrate/get too hungry.

imagine a bottle refusing BF baby whose mother dropped dead suddenly leaving no option but formula. you'd just offer bottles, try different surroundings and know full well the baby would get it in 2-3 days. Honestly tough it out and it will be fine

DaSmallPunsMum · 14/06/2012 22:36

To TheMysteryCat that is reassuring to hear, but The only wa to get supply up now is by him breastfeeding and stimulating me with the oxytocin released. I co sleep so it is easy to try all night but he isn't having any of it and screams for his bottled.

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tiktok · 14/06/2012 23:07

Really sorry OP - I can't read your post clearly and I am confused and confuddled by the typos and corrections!

Can you post again, with paragraphs, in a new thread? Ta!

DaSmallPunsMum · 14/06/2012 23:44

To Sleeplessinderbyshire that is great advice thank you, i guess you're right, he won't star e himself. I don't know f my supply is up to scratch after his longer and longer refusals of bf but will try to tough it out for two days and hope for the best...he really seems traumatised b it though...xx

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HecateTrivia · 15/06/2012 07:11

Quite the opposite of what? Confused I didn't give you any advice Grin

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