stopping breastfeeding.. and energy if I ever manage to do so!!

[Portlypenguin]

Hiya,
My LO is 1 this weekend (!!!) and I am still BF. I tried really hard to give up at xmas and then before restarting work in April. Total failure as my baby totally refuses the bottle 99% of the time. He occasionally takes them from DH if I am at work but it is so random. We have tried everything. He is also very very difficult about taking a cup. Grr.

Anyway - he is at nursery full time and currently I have to try and go in at lunchtime to feed him or leave work early. My employers have been great about this (I am making up the time fine) but I really want to stop it. LO still wakes 2-3x per night to feed. I am TOTALLY EXHAUSTED and not really coping. My GP and HV has told me to stop BF for my own sanity.

Two questions -

• ANy further advice with stopping BF at about 1 yr?
• ANyone who has BF and stopped - did you have more energy?? If not it might not be worth the struggle until he decides to self wean!!

Thanks.

I haven't and wouldn't, but why don't you find another way to get round the issues instead of stopping?

If you really can't go in during the day any more he would probably be fine until you see him later by this age. It's called reverse cycling, they just feed more when you're around instead. And if he won't take expressed milk from a bottle/cup you could make ice lollies with it for him?

At night, if you can co-sleep, you just roll over and don't even need to wake up properly to feed him. My daughter feeds far more than 2-3 times a night (she's 15 months) but I haven't been properly exhausted since the very early months, it's fine like this.

And it is normal for babies to wake at night for several years even. So you may find he still wakes up as often but you lose your easy way of getting him back to sleep.

Your health professionals are bucking the official advice anyway, as the WHO advises feeding to at least 2 years. So they should be supporting you by helping you find ways to continue in a less stressful way, not just telling you to stop.

It may be a good idea to try night weaning first (have a look on kellymom) and keep the other feeds. Mainly because as op says not feeding at night doesn't always = sleep all night. So you could still go back to feeding if need be.
Something like 50% of preschoolers wake at night.

Often its better to change your behaviour to accommodate your child's needs rather then try to change there natural behaviour. For example have you considered co-sleeping.

Sorry if I'm stating the obvious, but has your GP checked for other potential causes of your exhaustion? Thyroid, Blood Sugars, Iron Levels and sleep apnea can all cause tiredness, and they probably aren't the only things. It might be worth having other causes ruled out before giving up BF if its something you and your LO aren't ready for yet.

If you do decide that its definately the feeding, then it might be worth cutting down one feed at a time. This would make it a gradual change for you both, would give you a chance to work out alternative strategies for getting him to take in milk without you and you might find that you dont need to cut down completely to get the rest you need.

I don't have practical strategies for cutting down the feeding and replacing with cups/bottles yet as I'm not at that stage, but there should be plenty of advice around weaning from those who have been there.

All the best xx

I have just stopped feeding my ds at 12.5 months - but we cut down gradually over months, and we knew he would happily drink cow's milk from a cup.

I would try and cut down to first thing in the morning and last thing at night, then try and drop those. I think you could cause yourself problems if you are still feeding a lot and stop suddenly.

But, I haven't got more energy since stopping breastfeeding. But then I have a cold, and at least I can take the cold medicine now, so thats a bit of a result. And ds was obviously ready for weaning, as he very quickly got used to not feeding to sleep and settling himself. (He was an awful sleeper before.)

And why are you going in at lunchtime? It sounds like he is getting more than enough milk. I would stop that first.

Thanks for all the replies everyone. A few answers:

1. I want to stop (or at least cut down to more convinient times) BF for a few reasons - mainly as it is extremely challenging fitting my work shifts around feeding. I am a doctor and my shifts are usually 8-5, 10-7, 4pm-2am or nights. Work have been great and very helpful about allowing me to work more days of dayshifts whilst this is happening but I need to move back to full shift pattern soon. PLUS I am really struggling with feeding so much at night, feeling drained all the time, allow myself to put on a little weight (I am well below my prepreg wt due to BF and despite eating loads and not loosing weight haven't put any on). I would be happy with a situation where LO will take bottles from others if I am not there and I could continue BF a couple of times a day when I am.
2. Cups....would be very happy to move from boob-cup. Just not making much progress with that either currently! We offer water in a cup (and have done milk) several times a day and with meals but no luck.
3. When I initially went back to work I didn't feed at lunchtime - in the afternoons LO was very upset and then slept a lot. He lost weight consistently for the first 5 weeks and the HV recommended I try feeding in the day. Situation has been better whilst I've been doing it. We could try without again though - will discuss with nursery.
4. NOt really expecting him to start suddenly sleeping through - only 1-2x per ngiht would be so much better though!