6 weeks old - sliding in the chart but healthy and happy??

[Thaleia]

Hi,

Can't believe I'm back in "Feed" as every time I think things go well ...

The story so far:
DS did not gain his birth weight back after 2 weeks but was the same as birth weight. MW put me on this hard core regime for 5 days with bfeeding, expressing + topping up. Run out of milk after 3 days as no more sleep for the baby and no more sleep and food for mummy (when if you have to do it all in 2hrs?). He gained enough and was on the 75% line. Afterwards, I went back to bf exclusively, so in his lifetime, he had only 5 days of bottle, however of those I would say 2 days were only formula because I was dry.

Went back to check his weight after 3 weeks and he was on the 50% line, back 2 weeks later and he was 35%.

I've seen a paediatrician on Saturday and he was weight there and is now on 30%.

The paed did all the checks (= 8 weeks check @ 6 weeks) and he is fine, he's got all the reflexes + organs he should have and the doc said that to him he looks fine and seems to be a happy and healthy baby.

Obviously he said to me I need to keep an eye on the weight if this is a concern to me - which it is.

I'm just crying again and feel crap ... checked the chart in the red book and we'll never stay on the 30% line. He gained between Wednesday 1pm and Saturday 10am 80gr, which means with a bit of luck, he'll be gaining 160gr or so till Wednesday, exactly 1 week after his last weight check at the baby clinic. If so, he'll be down at 25% on the chart.

I know I'm not doing it right - I let my baby sleep for 3 - 3.5hrs instead of waking it every 2hrs but only as it's not working for us. If I wake him up after 2hrs, he's just not interested. He'll feed for about 20mins but only with lots of encouragement and at the same time get's so annoyed about being at the breast that he's only chewing at my nipples. If I let him sleep longer or if he wakes up for food it's a bliss: 50mins incl. a nappy change and both breasts are drained. And he only has to wake up for food once a day - at night time, like 3pm. Also, if I wake him, he's overtired and no fun any more, doesn't want to look or play and is just super cranky.

I don't know what and whom to trust as everyone has an opinion. The paedi is the only person who ever looked at my baby, the MW and HV only go by the chart. So what should I do? Go by the chart and let my baby slide further down or introduce bottles to keep him on the right line? If I wait to see if he levels out, even at the 9% line, how long can I do that and will I harm my DS development = failure to thrive on the books? At the same time, he seems to hit the milestones ... although we are still working on the first real smile but we're close (I think!).

The next thing is that I guess people bottle feed to get more sleep out of the baby. I don't need that, at night he comes after 3-4hrs which I think is pretty good and I would prob. have to wake him if he goes longer, no?

DH is getting upset with me because I'm upset about this all the time. I don't even understand why I'm upset ... lots of people top up/ bottle feed once or twice. But I just am, it makes me so sad.

Can/ should I hold out and see if and when he drops of the chart? Is getting lots of sleep dangerous? Or is feeding better than sleeping?

Thanks, Thali

I'm loathe to add another opinion, when you have already got so much advice, but what I would do is feed on demand, trying to get as much sleep as possible between, even if it means you don't get out of the house much etc. And ignore any friends with babies who might be getting to the stage of being able to get out and about! Babies need to sleep to grow, and if yours is waking up happy but hungry, that sounds good to me. Not that long ago we didn't have red books- I'd try and forget about it for now and concentrate on whether he looks and feels healthy. If the doctor isn't concerned, I wouldn't be.

I know it's easier said than done! My baby was prem and tiny, so everyone - including me - was obsessed with weight gain.

Good luck, and congratulations

I'd say go with the pead if he was happy that your baby is healthy then don't worry about the weight. Some babies are born bigger then they are meant to be and do what is called catching down until they find there natural line.

If you are still consered then seek more breastfeeding help. There are other options other then just toppingi up. Where does baby sleep? You could try keeping him close to you at all times, wearing in a sling and co-sleeping and responding to every feeding cue. This often encourage them to feed more often.

Ring one of the help lines or ask to speck to the infant feeding coordinator at your hospital for more support.

What they said! And don't forget to eat and drink and sleep lots yourself! Carbs and fennel tea were recommended to me to increase my supply

Another one saying go with the paed, if hes happy and your DS is hitting milestones, is happy, etc, I wouldn't be too concerned.
Our DS has slid down the centile lines and has dropped just below the bottom one. He is now following that curve, so he's still gaining weight, but not back in a centile line yet. Our paed said that as long a he is gaining, happy, plenty wet nappies then he's doing fine and tbh these bloody graphs are a nightmare.
DS was 6wk prem, and will prob always b small but a lot of babies catch up bit by the time they're 1. I was advised to go no longer than 5hr between feeds, and feed on demand, and not worry too much about the graph. Easier said than done I know!

Also any feeding concerns you have, I'd go to a local breast feedin group (la leche league run them out of children's centres) as they helped me way more than MW/HV have with BF issues

Are you in the UK? I know that we now have charts which are based on breastfed babies whereas the old charts were based on FF babies and so may not paint an accurate picture of normal BF weight gain. I don't know which charts are used elsewhere.

Another thing to bear in mind is that with the modern charts the birth weight is deemed irrelevant (other than that initial 10% weight loss limit) because there are so many factors which can affect it - size of the mother, gestation time, fluids given during birth, etc. Instead, the weight is plotted at 2 weeks and this is the centile line the baby is considered to start on. This is why there is a gap in the UK red book centile lines between birth and 2 weeks.

You say he was at 50% at 3 weeks, I think? And thinking about it this could have been a "catching down" to his natural weight after the artificial inflation to the 75th centile (which is fine, by the way, but would explain why he now appears to be "dropping")

I don't think there is such a thing as the 30th/35th centile, I assumed that all the ones in between the printed lines must exist but apparently they don't, only the printed lines which I think are 0.2, 9, 25, 50, 75, 91 and 99.8. HCPs are concerned if a baby crosses two lines - it's normal for them to go up and down a little bit within a small parameter. So really, if your baby started at 50% and has come down to somewhere between the 50% and 25%, that is a totally normal weight gain pattern, and absolutely nothing to worry about. :)

I wouldn't worry about waking him every 2 hours, this is recommended when you are seriously worried about a child's weight and doesn't seem necessary in your circumstance. However, I am not qualified so you may wish to double check this.

Thaleia most babies whose weight and development are as you say are fine, and it's good that the paed has checked him out. If you think he needs more milk, which he may or may not do, then you will need to i) feed him more often not by waking him up but by offering a bf more often when you think he might take it ii) using at least two breasts per session if he will accept - switch him backwards and forwards if necessary iii) trying breast compression (google it) iv) co-sleeping (following safe guidelines) which will almost certainly mean more night feeds

A call to any of the bf helplines will give you the chance to talk all this through :)

And YY I agree if you can find an NCT breastfeeding counsellor or La Leche League Leader in your area, they are qualified in breastfeeding support and may well know more than the HV or MW, who only receive minimal BF training and so their BF knowledge is very hit and miss, depending often on personal experience or extra courses they have chosen to do themselves.

My ds started on 50th centile and dropped to 0.4th centile by 3 weeks old, I was Bottle feeding, so hv had him change onto hypo allergenic milk thinking it was milk allergy, it didn't make much difference, he is 17months still following the bottom line but he is happy, and paediatrician is happy with him too, I'm sure your lo will start to follow a line and as long as he's still happy I'd try not to worry, it is hard though especially when all the other baby's are gaining weight and other mums seem to brag even though they know your having a hard time, just rise above them.
Use your instincts with feeding, I tried waking to feed more often but he just got grumpy! Xx

My first ds was similar to this - born big then weight plateaued - but he wasn't happy. He cried all the time and only really slept while being held. By 8 weeks he was actually looking skinny so doc said we had to top up with formula and he got so much better.
Dd on the other hand is very slow gaining weight but she is a very content baby - so different to her brother. My hv is also a bf specialist and is very supportive. She has suggested feeding as often as possible, wearing a sling, doing compressions, taking fenugreek and expressing (at night too if possible) - I found hand expressing much quicker.

I agree that a healthy baby is best, but personally I would be concerned about him sliding down the charts. Sometimes topping up with formula is necessary and you mustn't feel bad about that, but if he's really a contented baby then it doesn't sound like he needs it.