Bit of support please to keep me going!

[Beccarollo]

Ive done it again........Ive mucked up a bit and got myself in a tissy.

harvey doesnt feed anywhere near as contentedly as before and seems to prefer bottle (although this is probably all in my head) - since this growth spurt hit ive not managed to keep up the breastfeeding 100% and have ended up giving alot of bottles (started off on monday after Megans accident and has carried on since) which means my body wont now be producing enough milk for his new needs - I changed my mind about how I feel about it every single day - ranging from acute sadness at possibly stopping to deciding to switch to bottle feeding and everything in between.

Im also getting lots of well meaning "help" from HV for one (I did ignore her and know she was talking shite but its still had an effect) She suggested switching to hungry baby formula milk and weaning and alot of friends and family are saying "definitely get him on the bottles now look at the size of him etc etc"

I dont know what it is but i dont have faith in my own milk! i always think its not going to be enough and compare it unfavourable to formula even though I know its wrong

when i breast feed him now he trys to suck it like a teat - is there a way back from nipple confusion?!!?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh I dont know - it all seems so tangled and emotive in my head and I dont know what to do - I suppose I want to be told that Harvey doesnt prefer a bottle, that I can provide enough for him and that Im doing a good job!!!

I don't know how old your baby is or how much formula he is having - both those factors are imp. when decding can he go cold turkey....a young baby on 5 x 5 oz bottles a day clearly cannot; an older baby taking a top up a couple of times a day clearly can.

If you have bf him and he still fusses, yes, offer him the breast again...this is normal, and many babies may take 3 or 4 or 5 'sides' at a time.

Glugging down a bottle means nothing. The teat of the bottle pokes into the back of the mouth and babies just suck it 'cos it's there.

Good luck

He is 13 weeks old and for the last 3 or 4 days has only had 2/3 breastfeeds a day, I have been expressing sporadically too.

Beccarollo - not much practical help I'm afraid (That's what we have Tiktok and Mears for ) But I just wanted to say you have done, and are doing a wonderful job. I found bf easy and I think a lot of that was because my dh, family and friends all accepted it as completely normal. To carry on in the face of so much stupidty and misinformation from those around you must be really difficult, and you should feel very proud of yourself.

Ok - in that case Beccarollo, you can try cold turkey....with the use of formula only if you/he are desperate. After this many weeks of bf, your supply will be more robust and you will find it responds well to hugely increased demands.

If you carry on only giving 2-3 bfs a day with sporadic expressing, it will probably dwindle to nothing in a short time - yes, you could get it back, but the sooner you start to work on retrieving it, the better.

Have no real suggestions on what to do about your dh and mil, sorry. These are relationship issues. Of course they should support you in what you want to do, but you need to be assertive about it and just do it....they may feel you should decide on one thing or the other.

Beccarollo- how are you today?

Beccarolla,

How are you doing (missed this thread yesterday)? Just wanted to add my two penn'orth to all the fab advice you've already been given. My dh was just the same as your dp - he talked to all the women he works with and came home an expert - full of how I should stop breast-feeding, change to bottles, everything would be wonderful. I'm so glad I didn't listen!

It's up to YOU. Not anyone else. It's fine to stop breast-feeding, you've given your ds a fantastic start, but only stop because you want to, not because someone else tells you you should. Your ds will be fine regardless of how he's fed, but you have to make the decision yourself. Whatever you choose to do, all the best.

Hiya, thanks for asking

Im doing ok - feeding him often and have escaped bottles so far although he did have some this morning before I went cold turkey!

Its been hard as he is rather unsettled and DD is taking alot of time and attention at the moment, I simply cant dedicate it all to feeding Harvey.

He is sleeping now so Ill express now and before bed then he will probably feed in the night too.

Well done

well done becca

Glad to hear things are looking up.

Brilliant!!

Becca

You are doing really well, especially given the other problems you've got on your plate too. Hope tonight goes well too and that your dd recovers soon.

just to reassure you - I ate very little but chocolate in the early days, I gave up bf for a week after lost of problems, rethought and restarted. I'm still going strong at 11months. Boobs are amazing things and they'll do what you want if you give them time. Keep going - it's worth all the hassle, honestly it is. It sounds like you're doing really well given a crap situation. Well done you.

Well done you!

Coming in here with my tail in between my legs - I fed him a few times during the night and he was very unsettled - I resorted to bottle and he slept for 4 hours. After a lot of soul searching, tears and thinking I have decided to go with the bottle - give him breastmilk in it while I can and breast feed him in the night if he wakes up.

I feel happy with this compromise and while it probably marks the beginning of the end of breastfeeding - I think I can deal with that.

When I was pregnant - after a failed attempt at BF with DD I decided I wanted to BF for 6 weeks if I could - when it all went well I was really pleased and had 3 months as my goal so at least I achieved that.

Silly thing is when I made the decision I was a bit nervous about saying so on here after all of the supportive comments I didnt want to feel like I had let you all down - realised this was a silly way to think so Ive come to tell the truth and thank you for all of the support and encouragement Ive recieved on here.

Becca
xxx

It is what makes you and ds happiest which really counts. So long as you keep an element of regularity to when you bfeed or express you should be able to maintain your supply. He may well also be picking up on some of your anxieties too so it might be better in the long term to do mixed feeding so that you feel less stressed when you do feed him yourself.

Well done for persevering thus far.

Good luck, Beccarollo

beccarollo- one of the main reasons I wanted to bfeed was because it was much easier for me- I hated the hassle of making bottles- realy loathed the extra work. If bfeeding had been much harder for me than bottle I would probably have bottlefed! What I'm saying is go easy on yourself and well done for reaching your target. Relax and enjoy the mix feeding for as long as it lasts without feeling stressed about going back to pure breast.

Beccarollo - you've done fantastically well and you should feel nothing but pride. Be prepared for a lot of mixed feelings over the next few weeks as your hormones will probably be on a bit of a rollercoaster, but just keep reminding yourself of your great achievement.

hugs

Do what is best for you. You have given him the very best start and reached your goals. Good luck.

Of course we wouldn't be cross with you you haven't let us down. You asked for support and i hope it helped you come to a decision you are happy with and don't feel you were pushed either way.

you need to do what is right for you and your ds....
good luck becca!!!

You have given your DS a fabulous start Beccarollo!

I really feel for you Beccarollo and wish I'd picked up on this thread earlier than I have. You've given your son a fabulous start in life and I don't see why mixed feeding won't work for a relatively long time. I breast fed my daughter exclusively until 10 months and then substituted some of the day feeds with bottles (partly because I returned to work part time) and even now she's 14 months I still produce enough milk to feed her satisfactorily 2 times a day. Good luck. And NO GUILT!!!

Thanks for the nice messages people! I had visions of being banned from mumsnet

Today has gone ok - he takes his bottles like a trooper - certainly no wondering where the breast is which is a bit sad but better for him to like the recepticle he will be drinking out of!

He is taking 8 oz at most feeds.

I havent fed all day and not in the slightest engorged or uncomfortable - do I have even less milk than I thought?!