How long on the boob?

[jetstar]

I was wondering does anyone know what the latest thoughts are on how long a baby should feed at one boob before moving to the next one? I read it can take 25 mins to reach the hindmilk but what if your baby doesn't feed for more than 20 mins at a time? I am aiming for a 3 hour gap between feeds although baby is 3 1/2 weeks now and it varies between 2 - 3 hours and I would never not feed her if she was obviously hungry.

Is the fore / hindmilk theory still valid? I bf DD1 for 16 months (she is now 3) but the usual sorts of anxieties are coming back to me the second time around! If a baby gets too much foremilk then I believe it can lead to excess wind / colic and I don't really want that to happen.
Also how long is long enough for a feed? 20 mins? or should I be encouraging baby to stay awake and feed for longer? I always did find it tricky to not really know how much milk was being consumed at a feed (but could never get DD1 to take a bottle)
Thanks for reading!

There isn't really such a thing as 'foremilk' or 'hindmilk' in the sense that there is a switch over point or that there needs to be X mins of feeding to access it. Anything that claims you need to feed for a certain time for baby to have hindmilk can safely be consigned to the 'interesting in an amazing what they used to think way' pile . Lots of info on fore/hind milk here.

Can I ask why you are trying to schedule feeds? BFing works best when baby has free and on-cue access to bf not when baby is put on a schedule especially not at such an early stage.

You also don't need to worry about how much baby to actually drinking at each 'feed' as not all bfs are for hunger - babies bf (or rather nurse) for temperature regulation, breathing/heart rate regulation (they pick up cues from mum), tiredness, pain/discomfort relief, loneliness, comfort, closeness to the one they love & need, safety (they don't know they live in a house in the UK - as far as they know there are tigers out there!), amongst a myriad of other reasons.

As long as baby is doing 6 wet disposable nappies (8 cloth) and two poos (soft/liquidy yellow to yellow/green but not brown or hard/formed) and gaining weight (weighing once a month once back to birth weight) then it doesn't matter how much they have taken as it's enough for them.

Congratulations on your new baby girl

3 hours between daytime feeds is probably a bit long for your baby, I wouldn't be aiming for that just yet. My baby is 8 weeks and he can only just go that long in the day and is often ready for a feed much sooner. And remember, the more milk they take in in the day the less they will need in the night, so I would not bother trying to space daytime feeds. let her feed as often as she wants and let her decide how long the feed needs to be. I try to remember that I don't go 3 hours between drinks in the daytime so it stands to reason that a baby might get thirsty even if not yet hungry enough to take a full feed.

My DS does 8 mins per boob & has never really done longer. He's not a comforter sucker, just takes what he needs & is done.

At 9 weeks he feeds every 1.5 hours on average (on demand). I guess he fills up during the day as he has started doing 6 & 4 hourly feeds at night. Lovely!

If you follow their cues they will tell what they need. I was worried about the fore/hindmilk thing as literally everyone tells me it's not long enough. DS is thriving though & is the only baby I know jot to have lost any weight a birth.

Our babies & boobs are all different I guess

Thanks everyone, what you say makes a lot of sense and thanks for updating me about the current thinking!

truthsweet I am a bit of a 'control freak' kind of person and like to have a routine myself so I find it really hard in the early weeks, as I don't enjoy the unpredictability of eating / sleeping etc. But I take on board what you say and will try really hard to go with the flow more . She does a lot of poos and wees and has put on 1lb+ since birth so I feel like she is getting enough.

Also I'm a person who really needs my sleep so I find it tough to think of how little I am getting and I get over-emotional about it all. It makes it sound like I don't like having a small baby but the relentlessness of it all gets me down every now and then! I know its not for ever and really the time with a newborn will fly by when you look back on it!

Thanks again - I'm certain to be lurking in this topic for some while to come.

Congratulations and good luck to all of you with little ones!

jetstar - I have OCD so am very au fait with control freakery! I found thinking about it from the point of view that baby's body was in control and all I had to do was respond to the baby helped me to take that leap of faith. It is hard though don't get me wrong but trying to make baby fit in with what you need isn't going to help baby. There is plenty of time for routine when baby is older and on solids but while they are tiny and reliant on mum for the vast majority of their needs you do need to be flexible.

My mum says that there's no regulation, just go with what your baby tells you. I was worried because my stupid, backward, old school hv told me I needed to feed for at least 30 mins on one side. Made me feel like I wasn't being a good mum. Rang my mum in pieces (who is a hv, a brilliant, non judgemental, how I wish she could be my hv), and she said thats rubbish. Newborn babies don't have a schedule, they know what they need and will take it so if it's only a 5 min feed that's all that they want and need.

Every baby is different just let yours tell you how long and how often. My DD always fed for an hour and i used to worry I was doing it wrong because all the literature and breast start said she shouldn't be going for more than 30 to 40 mins. In the end i just stopped worrying and went with her. I'm still feeding her now at 8 months - she just enjoys taking her time!

Thanks everyone - all very reassuring!

Our next challenge is wind and projectile vomiting - didn't have this with DC1 but its very hard to get the wind out of DD2 and if you don't, then you get puked all over and have to feed her again She also gets lots of hiccups which doesn't help.

So anyway, onward and upward (hopefully) :)

jetstar, it's very normal for babies to throw up after a feed, and it's nothing to do with whether you have got the wind out of the baby....and yes, it is normal for the chucking-up to mean the baby needs more milk.

If it's truly projectile, get it checked out, of course, but if it's just forceful then that's normal.

Go with the flow rather than trying to ensure she burps....see if that makes life easier for you :)

thanks tiktok more good advice
(can you tell I stress about everything and this isn't even pfb!)

actually last night I did give up winding and put her down and went back to sleep myself and there was no vomit and she did sleep for a few hours, so going with the flow it is (and lots of loads of washing!)