day 4 of BF, sudden change in Dss feeding, really struggling tonight .....

[smk84]

Hi, DS was born on Weds and up until this evening was feeding very well, was well satisfied after each feed, with lots of good signs (long sucks/swallowing etc). My milk came in over night last night and he fed fine this morning, but this evening he just seems unable to get enough to satsify him. He has been feeding now for 2.5 hours, and each time he has been getting frustrated, pulling off sporadically. He has spent a lot of time doing what I would call priming sucks, then getting frustrated and I've not been noticing the long sucks and swallowing anywhere near as much. In these 2.5 hours, there have been periods where I know he is getting some though. Up until tonight, he has been feeding 30-45 mins on one side, then 15-20 on the other to make up one complete feed. Then the next feed I have started him on the side he took less time on. Tonight the feeds have shortened and he has managed 15 mins at the most on a side before getting frustrated and pulling himself off. He then cries for more so I put him back on the other side (after a little break to see if he wants to bring up any wind). We have also tried taking him off and settling him to sleep just in case he is tired rather than hungry but this hasn't worked and he is only satisfied by going back on the boob. Help would be really appreciated as starting to worry that it's all going wrong .....

I'm no expert but I seem to remember day 4 was the worst! When the milk comes in the baby is trying to up your milk supply by feeding like crazy. It is hellish for a few days but hang in there. As Churchill said, when you are going through hell, keep going :)

Firstly, congratulations. These first few days are really hard and the evenings are the hardest. Could it be wind? You say you're giving him a little break but is he actually burping? Windy babies often seem not to know what they want, pulling off the breast even if you think they're hungry, fussing, crying because it can be painful.

Incidentally, no need to put him on the side on which he fed last time, just go back to the first side. And don't be surprised if he wants to feed more often than some all the time and there are well-meaning people who'll say "oh the baby can't be hungry AGAIN" and try to get you to distract him, although milk is really what he wants.

Sorry not to have more constructive offerings. There are lots of far more knowledgeable people on here. Really don't beat yourself up about it: bf-ing can be bloody hard and you have times of total despair when you think you're doing something wrong. Remember, it's the first time for both you and him and you have to learn as you go along. Are you still under midwife care? Are you expecting a mw visit in the next day or so? Do make sure she takes the time to watch you feed and advise on latch, positioning, the baby's fussing (if he does it when she's there, of course).
Very best of luck, especially with the night ahead.

Sounds like cluster feeding and it is perfectly normal, most bf babies do this in the evenings before a reasonable sleep. Kellymom article explains it well.

If he is eating loads, latching on well and not crying, it is going brilliantly!

At this stagr, I was really only breastfeeding my baby. Not much else.

If you can just go with his needs for now (assuming you have no pesky toddlers or other dependants, or indeed anjob to go to) position yourself on the sofa, put a dvd on, get a cup of tea, and just feed you baby.

That's all he needs right now. And you sound like it is going brilliantly.

At 4 days in, bfing is going badly if your baby has yet to latch on, has not had anything more than two drops of colostrum and is crying endlessly. Not your case!

Oh, and congrats.

It's not going wrong at all, your clever baby is doing exactly what he needs to at this point, namely tell your boobs 'yes! Yes! Milk milk milk!' and also to stay close to his dear mama who is all he's known for 9 months. Congratulations on your new arrival.

Being at the breast is about so so much more than feeding and being satisfied or full up. He's priming your supply of milk, stimulating a release of oxytocin (the 'love' hormone) to bond with you, and staying close to your smell, your heartbeat and your voice. Try to think of it as nursing rather than feeding as there are associations with timing, schedules and being 'full up' when it's considered a 'feed' alone. Being fussy also ensures lots of attention from you - clever, clever baby!

Is he producing wet & dirty nappies? Has his poo changed colour from meconium to brownish then yellowish? If yes, those are good things. If you're not in any pain or discomfort this is also good. This is a time for you to sit/lie down with your phone/remote/laptop/book/water/chocolate and baby and just get your milk on! You're doing so well.

If during a session you hear/see deep rhythmical sucks/swallows (sometimes difficult, I know), and he takes himself off the breast, he's almost certainly satisfied. If he falls asleep that's also good, though be aware if he's falling asleep frequently he may not be transferring milk as well as he could.

Lots of babies are more fussy in the evening, and may 'cluster feed' (basically exactly what you describe - constant need to be at the breast, but not seeming that satisfied when they're there!) - again this is instinctive and evolutionary. Night time is dark and scary. There might be bears and wolves, best make a nuisance of myself so mama holds me close, thinks your baby!

Have faith, stay in touch with Mumsnet (this forum is fantastic), and if in doubt you can always call one of the BF helplines. I'm so sorry i can't link to them from my silly phone, but NCT, La Leche League etc have a line, and there's a national service too.
Congrats again. Keep up the good work!

I am overwhelmed by all your support, thank you so much. I feel less like I am losing the plot now. After 3 hours of struggle, he is now asleep (thanks to his dad). I completely lost the plot for a while, but have calmed down now I have read your posts so gonna try to sleep now. Thank you again.

Just wanted to add quickly that day 4 for me was the worst. Hourly feeding all night etc. Ds is now 8 weeks old and feeds and sleeps like a dream. You will get there and it won't be long. These early days seem long and tiring but really it is such a short time and a few weeks down the line everything is better.

As your supply gets stronger and more established his feeds may well shorten in length so that isn't particularly worrying. The colostrum is giving way to proper milk and your son is doing everything in his power to encourage your supply. I absolutely agree with whoever said think of these sessions as nursing rather than just feeding, bfing is do much more than just food. Are his poos changing colour and getting less like sticky tar? You're doing so well by the sounds of it.

Good morning, thank you moojie and chubfuddler too. His poo has changed from mec to green/brown (and soft) and he is weeing. He fed quite well overnight, although he does seem much more "sensitive" through the feed than he did before my milk came in (i.e. he writhes around from time to time, and i think he might pull off (which he sort of does sometimes then re-latches), and this seems to be when he is doing the long, swallowing sucks. To be honest , it's eroding my confidence because he was so content with each feed before, but you have helped me realise that this change can be normal. Thank you.

p.s. a lot of you have mentioned fussyness in the eve, but is it normal for him to have become more fussy at other feeds too at this stage? thanks