Any tips on leaving breastfed, co-sleeping 6mo DS for the night?

[Violetroses]

I've got to go to a family thing in London next weekend, which has involved hotels/new dress/train tickets booked in advance.

I'd hoped that my lovely boy would accept being bottlefed expressed milk by my husband for the 20 hours I'll be away, and that a bit of space from each other might help him learn to sleep alone in his own bed...but he seems to have other ideas.

For about 2 months, every night we've tried to get him to take a bottle, but he has only a couple of times taken 60ml/2oz. Tonight he refused to have any. We've tried Avent, Tommy Tippee and Medela bottles, and every make of formula (I've got 3 children so when I get a chance to express, I've been freezing it for using when I'm away).

He sleeps well in his cot from 7pm to 10pm but screams until I come to bed, then snacks until morning. Whenever I or my husband try to return him to his cot he screams.

This would all be tolerable if I didn't have this night away coming up. I can't cancel it easily because I'd be letting people down very badly.

Has anyone else out there been in this situation? Did your baby give in to the bottle eventually? or am I condemning DS to a night of screaming and possible dehydration, and should definitely cancel?

No tips from me, sorry. But can you take him and wear him around in a sling/carrier?

No tips either but my DS is like yours and we are about to have our first evening out tomorrow since he was born 8months ago. Could your DH come too and stay in the hotel with your DS and you can join them after your evening out?

Gah! I wish!

I'm half-expecting a flaming, but was hoping that someone, somewhere has managed to leave their bf child overnight without dire consequences.

DH is very positive and reckons he'll succumb to the bottle when I'm not there.

It's good that your dh is positive. We already know that our babies expect to suckle from us but that our husbands can often settle them in other ways. Is he taking lots of milk from you or using you to resettle a lot? We've done a lot of cosleeping and I've recently found that my baby will expect the boob is he's next to me but that he can often resettle himself if he's in his cot.

Maybe do a dry run before you go?

The event was organised by well-meaning family member to "treat" me to an adult child-free night out.

The irony! I've been so stressed out by it.

Ginger, the dry run idea is a v good one. Thanks.

Although if it's awful and traumatic, I can't see how I'll be able to go through with it. Maybe I can lie and say he's got chicken pox.....

Have you tried cup feeding? Take a top off a sippy cup and try popping it near his mouth. Dd would cup feed from 9 weeks as also refused a bottle. You could also spoon feed milk too.

It might be worth completely changing his routing on the night you are away. If he wakes, DH can bring him downstairs and sit with him on sofa.

People said it too me "she won't go hungry" (I was in for day surgery) and she finally took a bottle the day before but we were relying on cup feeding and lots and lots patience of DP!

A little 'out there' but have you go a friend who'd be a wet nurse for a feed or two? I know this isn't for some people and I'd have never considered it pre-baby but I would consider it now if I needed to leave dd.

Sleep in a different room - and good luck :) There's no shame in bailing if you need to. x

Have you tried a cup? Just a normal open-topped one? even young babies can drink from these (with a bit of assitance, obviously).

Also one thing to check is that your expressed milk hasn't got that soapy smell on defrosting it - something to do with high lipase levels. If it has, you can get rid of it by scalding the milk before serving IIRC. If you taste a bit, you will soon know if that could be a factor (I know, some people find the idea of tasting it repugnant, but needs must and all that).

I have a bottle refusing 6 month old DD too. Sucks doesn't it? :(

I left my bf and co-sleeping 6 month old DS with my mum for the night so me and DP could have a night out. It was fine, but he has no problem taking a bottle when offered. I was amazed though that he spent the night in his travel cot as he absolutely refused to sleep away from us at home. He woke regularly but was not distressed. I think babies are adaptable and will do different things for different carers. Maybe get your mum to keep offering a bottle prior to this night as practise.

Thanks, everyone, some helpful advice. I'll try the cup-feeding - he takes water from a beaker, so definitely worth a try. Good to hear your night worked out okay, strawberry.

Oh and also - if you haven't already done it, teach him the pick up, put down technique of self-settling :)

When I left DD to attend a hen do - she slept for longer than she had ever slept before (as if she was passing the time till I got back!). She took milk from a bottle (which is something she would never do from me) although not nearly as much as I expected so DP ended up throwing loads of it away.
Have a great time

Well, I went and DS finally accepted a bottle of expressed milk 7 hours after I'd left (subsisting on mashed carrot and water from a sippy cup until then).

He then glugged gallons of milk through the night, cried for almost 3 hours from 10.30 til 1am, but then settled until morning with just one other brief feed at 3am.

When I got home at midday, he was pink-cheeked and happy...if v grateful for my return!

So he survived, but I'll never again put social obligations so far ahead of my children's needs. I feel really guilty that I put him (and DH!) through it, poor mite. Am glad it's all over!