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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

18 mos - conflicted about stopping breastfeeding

7 replies

clarejane · 08/06/2012 18:12

DS is 18 mos and currently I just feed him when he wakes up in the morning. At this point it's really just a habit - it doesn't feel as if he's actually drinking properly, recently he's just had one side anyway and when he's finished he runs straight to the kitchen to bang on the fridge...If my husband gets him up in the morning he is quite happy without a breast feed (um, DS not DH obvs). I have been thinking that I would like to stop completely now. We've had a good run and I'm irritated by the constant grabbing at my top when he's bored or grumpy. And then I feel shitty for getting irritated! But I would like to be able to have a cuddle with him on the sofa without him reaching for my boobs. We travel a fair bit and obviously BF'ing has been a huge help to keep him settled on the plane and when staying in unfamiliar places - but I'd like to be able to take a trip without having my boobs out the whole time.

On the other hand I feel really sad about stopping! I don't know if we will have another baby and I've enjoyed breastfeeding. I also somehow feel that there should be something special about the last BF. Is that ridiculous?? I just fed him down for his nap for the first time in about 6 months because he was having a meltdown. And he dozed off and it was lovely and snuggly and I thought 'right, maybe this should be the last time'. But the stupid bloody microwave was pinging in the kitchen so I couldn't just lay down next to him and relish it! OK, now that I've typed this I realise how stupid it sounds Blush

I don't really know what my question is. Just wanted to get it out and hear from other people how you've dealt with the emotions around winding up breastfeeding and how other babies have responded when mum has made the decision to stop. Thanks :)

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 08/06/2012 20:25

Think that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. If your child is distressed, tired or ill it is such a great way to calm them.

Just wanted to say one thing though. Stopping bfing will not stop him pulling at your top or wanting bfing. DD stopped 2 years ago and would happily try to latch on now if I let her and loves putting her hand down my top.

lorisparkle · 08/06/2012 20:27

I stopped BF DS1 when he was 15 months. I was really sad about it but I was pregnant, didn't fancy BF two children at the same time, and exhausted. If I had not had these factors I don't know when I would have stopped. With DS2 and DS3 it was much easier to stop as I was so busy. None of the DS were bothered which kind of made it easier but they were younger. It is such a hard decision and has to be right for you and I agree that I wanted the last BF to be special too! It will all sort itself out in the end!

frizzylisa · 08/06/2012 22:06

Wow! Your post just made my day! Although so sorry to hear you're stressed about it too. But it matched so my experiences of today that I had to finally get a mum's net account! My little one is 18 months next week and only has one bf in the evening. It only last 10 mins so can't imagine he gets that much milk. He dropped the others without much fuss led pretty much by him but the night one has just stuck. And I am SO conflicted about stopping. On the one hand I like the idea of the freedom in terms of being able to go away for one of my best friends hen weekends which is coming up. On the other hand I feel sad about stopping and about losing the convenience for

frizzylisa · 08/06/2012 22:12

Wow! Your post just made my day! Although so sorry to hear you're stressed about it too. But it matched so my experiences of today that I had to finally get a mum's net account! My little one is 18 months next week and only has one bf in the evening. It only last 10 mins so can't imagine he gets that much milk. He dropped the others without much fuss led pretty much by him but the night one has just stuck. And I am SO conflicted about stopping. On the one hand I like the idea of the freedom in terms of being able to go away for one of my best friends hen weekends which is coming up. On the other hand I feel sad about stopping and about losing the convenience for planes and travelling etc. And I also struggle with wanting the last one to be special. Which I also feel silly about!! Thought I might make tonight the last one but then got really upset feeding, felt like I ruined the last one and there must be another and now feel I'm just putting it off! Also feel a low level stress related to my indecision. Ugh! Anyway, have nothing useful to say other than I am SO there and thank you SO much for posting. Always good to know you're not alone. Let me know what you decide...

frizzylisa · 08/06/2012 22:22

Ops! Sorry for double post! Clearly an amateur! :)

clarejane · 10/06/2012 11:33

Hmm - frizzylisa are you me?! Glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! I'm still feeding but I think we'll wind it up in the next week or so, we have some travel coming up and I really want to be finished by then. Am trying to remember that 18 mos of bf'ing is more important than one symbolic last feed and that I should be more focussed on how he deals with the change than me!

Not looking forward to him still boob grabbing in 2 years though - thanks for the warning!

OP posts:
donotiron · 10/06/2012 13:18

Hi frizzy, I breastfed my son until he was 3 and I still felt very sad and uncertain when I stopped. I suppose it helped that he was at an age where I could reason with him and in the end it all went very smoothly. He only asked for milk a handful of times and was more than happy to accept loads of cuddles and a drink of 'moo milk' as an alternative. Luckily, I didn't experience any top lifting and I would say that, although he seems to remember being breastfed (he's almost 4 now and sometimes refers to having had milk from mummy), it's of little more than a fleeting interest to him. No matter when you decide to stop, it's hard, but there comes a time when it just feels right and that's different for everyone. Hope it all goes well. XX

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