One year old grabbing at boobs- any tips

[YoulllaughAboutItOneDay]

DD2 is just about to turn one. Unlike her sister, who started to lose interest in day feeding around this time, DD2 is fully committed .

The problem is she had started reaching down my top and practically trying to manhandle my breasts out of my bra. She gets very angry and cross if I try to stop her. She does it all the time, including in public. It upsets me - it makes me feel awkward and also a bit under attack.

I don't want to wean her, and it's not as if I can wear a polo neck at this time of year. Is it just a 'this to shall pass' situation, or does anyone have any tips. And if you've had this, how long did it last?

Oh mine still do this. One is 5, the other is 3. Its a comfort thing.

Oh God, I can't have her pulling my boobs out of my top in public when she's 5. She'll blooming succeed by then! I had hoped the first response would be 'mine did this. It only lasted a month or two'

You just need to be firm. In public I say "not nw" and distract. At home it's fine.

Try to ignore it, neutrally take her hands down and distract her win something neutral, not something rewarding. Then when she is stopped you should feed her do she knows doing it meet results in feeding. Does she have another way of asking for it? You could try teaching her to request in a different way?

My 14 month old does this. I wouldn't stop her, she's far too young to understand your reasons for wanting to wait. But she might show earlier signs of wanting to feed you could look out for.

You feel uncomfortable in public because we've been brought up in a majority non-breastfeeding culture. That won't change unless people see normal nursing behaviour. And if you give your baby the message that it's something that should be less available in public she'll grow up feeling shy about it too, when she nurses her own children.

Thanks for the extra comments everyone.

Eclectic - interesting point about finding another way of her asking for a feed. She's obviously not really talking yet so I wonder what I could work to develop. Maybe that will encourage her to do that.

Questions - It's not that I mind feeding her in public. I don't like the grabbing very much whether we are at home or out and about. I know nursing is bound to be important to her, but at the moment I feel we can't have the nice cuddles she has with her dad because she's always pulling and grabbing at me. And she's not very gentle. I really don't think it's about being brought up in a majority non-nursing culture as such - I am fine with feeding her wherever and fed my older daughter until I was pregnant again (when she self weaned). It's more that I simply don't like being grabbed all the time. I think I'd feel the same if it was something neutral like my hair she pulled every time she was near me.

You could try teaching her a sign.

Kellymom talks about introducing a sign or code word and practicing it with them. Maybe worth a try?

So glad to find I'm not alone with this youlllaugh. My 17mth old is wicked for getting his hands down my shirt, and yes, it is so annoying.

He does seem to be going through a hungry phase as I had him down to night-time feeds only but now he's back to a few daytime feeds as well. I'm trying to offer him a cup of milk before the boob (not that it works ), removing his hands or giving him a snack like raisins to distract him (works sometimes).

I think that bf'ing a toddler is a lot different to a younger one (my DDs finished at 12 mths on the dot and 14 mths, both weaned themselves). DS can even ask for by saying "Buhper!!" and feels independent enough to help himself...it's very different to how it was with my girls.

Any ideas for a sign (good suggestion, thanks!). Do others just use the milk sign?

Nicobean - sorry you are in the same boat. DD2 would feed every hour if I let her at the moment. I'm not willing to do that, but we are finding a compromise .

My ds first sign was for food. Double tap to the side of mouth, which ever hand she prefers. Model it with your dominant hand whenever you feed her ( just before). Also say the vocal food. You model it once then show her how to do it ( take her hand and double tap side of her mouth, then model it again, then feed her. Don't forget the vocal. I'm sure she'll catch on soon. just make sure you do it consistently, will be easier for her to pick up.

Also reward any effort she makes to do the sign with a feed otherwise she might not bother. Might take a whole for her to make an accurate sign.

The first sign might take a while to teach, but persevere :) instead of the word food, you might want to model a word more specific to breastfeeding, maybe not milk as she might get confused with other milk. Doesn't matter what word you use as long as its consistent.

So just to recap. 3 times every time, they need repetition. You do it once then help her do it and then you do it again, all in succession. Always with the vocal as well as sign.

Thanks for this. I am actually not too worried about using the milk sign. We have always referred to it as milk in our house, and the sort that comes in a bottle is 'cow milk'. People understand what cow milk means, and as DD1 got older she modified it- so milk came as 'mummy milk' or 'cow milk' once she was talking.

But actually DD2 has already started copying the sign and initiated it a couple of times (breaking off in a feed and making the sign to me rather than as a free standing request) and has rotated it 90 degrees, so it is kind of its own sign anyway now. She seems to be catching on fast. If it stops the grabbing I will be so happy! Thank you to everyone for the suggestion.

DD1 never showed any interest in signing, although I tried it with her. But perhaps DD2 is more receptive and I should give it another crack. I don't think I'll ever be a big signer, but some basics like food, drink, sleep would be really handy.

Well, I thought I would update. The signing has taken off like wildfire. But she now signs and grabs. About 15 times a day. And she has recently been ill and would only sleep with her whole arm hand down my top.

Aaargh...

Thanks for the suggestions though. I'll just have to hang in there until it's polo neck weather and hope that breaks the habit!