Upset and clingy DS - could this be a reaction to stopping BFing?

[abigboydidit]

Hi everyone,

I've nearly posted this question a few times this week but thought I was being silly so I left it but now am beginning to get seriously worried that I've really upset my DS. He's 12+ months old and had only ever had BF or water to drink as he has a CMP allergy. He's only been getting 2 feeds per day since I returned to work 3 months ago & I was keen to stop feeding once he got to a year. In the days after he turned 1 I gradually dropped the morning feed and replaced it with a cup of children's soy milk. He seemed totally fine with this & I had planned to wait a week or so before dropping the bedtime feed. In the end, he got a D&V bug and actually refused BM for 4/5 days (he would take water and some food such as yoghurts). I've never been good at expressing so I just thought I would have to use the opportunity to drop the night feed and he seemed happy enough initially.

However - a week on and he's suddenly turned from a happy, independent boy to really clingy and tearful - mainly just in the mornings but nursery have noticed a difference too. I've been cuddling him and he's been flinging himself back into cradle hold - something he never used to do when I was actually feeding him (he was always a baby who had to be reminded/encouraged to BF). I've convinced myself that this is a reaction to stopping BFing and that doing it when he was unwell was a really bad idea.

Does anyone have any experience of this? I feel so guilty! Thanks in advance.

My experience was with an older child, but DS1 reacted badly to any attempts at night weaning. His behaviour went down the pan, and oddly enough, it was always three weeks after cutting out night feeding.

It could well be a reaction to stopping. How would you feel about letting him feed when he does it?

Yes, I agree - could be a reaction and his own way of expressing his sadness, he doesn't have words :(

You could offer him the breast and see.

Oh no - I knew it was my fault .

I haven't/hadn't offered as it's now been so long since I fed him that I assumed I would have no milk. I guess I was also trying to get through it as (for purely selfish reasons) I am keen to stop BFing. My only thought was whether doing it while he was unwell had been the mistake & that starting again in order to stop at a more settled time would have been a better idea? I just feel so stupid and guilty for upsetting him.

Look....just offer him the breast :)

He's not missing the milk - he's missing you :)

It won't matter a bit if he doesn't get much milk (but there will be some there, it takes far more than a week for milk to go, especially after months and months of bf).

You can then wind down at his pace.

Sniff! That made me cry tiktok. I will do.. Thanks for the advice & reassuring me that I wasn't making it up!

Sorry to sound a bit bossy with you - hope you will sort things out :)

Not at all tiktok - I didn't mean it like that. I totally value your opinion (you've given me great advice many times over the last 12 months!). It was just hearing someone say to me what I've been thinking in my head