13 Week Old EBF - Struggling!

[pommedechocolat]

I stopped feeding dd1 at 7 weeks and had been using bits of formula since 3 weeks. I felt guilty for stopping and was determined to do better with dd2 using lessons I'd learnt etc.

Actually dd2 took to bf fine and I realised just how difficult dd1 had been and found some peace.

DD2 has always fed very regularly (hourly in the day, every 3-4 hours at night). Recently she has started to space out feeds during the day but the night is no better, if anything worse. Over the weekend we also had a couple of three hours of screaming episodes with her.

DD1 also likes to put in a regular early wake up/night disturbance.

I am shattered.

I wanted to get to at least 16 weeks ebf without adding formula but the idea of trying a night time bottle is very appealing right now. Cannot be fagged with expressing this time round and only have a manual pump anyway.

Any tips other than adding in formula? Any idea on when this will get better? Everyone says 6 weeks, then 8 weeks, then 12 weeks but I must be doing something wrong because no peace yet.

DD1 was sleeping better than this on formula by this age and by 16 weeks or so was doing 7-7.

I bf DS till 11 months, but started to give him the odd bottle of formula at around 5 months when I was going demented.

When the going got tough in the early days I used to set myself goals - I will keep bfing till the end of the day, till the end of this week etc and then when I reached the goal I reassessed and kept going.

At this age she is growing a lot and putting on weight so it's no surprise she's feeding lots. You're doing a fab job for her and for your own body.

In my honest opinion I can't remember when it got 'better' with DS, but I'd say it was around 6 months. I think a lot of that to do with me gaining confidence in my own body, and confidence in being a mother and bfing.

You're not doing anything wrong! You're shattered because you have 2 kids and are establishing bfing with a little newborn. I think you can't expect both girls to feed the exact same way, nor to go through the same stages at the same time. Keep your nerve and see how you feel by end of the week.

My DS is 5 months now and I found bfing difficult and constant until about 15/16 weeks when he suddenly developed himself a routine that included naps. And I wasn't even ebf as he had 2 (1 ebm 1 ff) bottles in the evenings - I never got the hang of fussy evening behaviour although he's more settled now.

Great advice about setting small goals. I was always giving it another day, another week etc. You're doing so well. I know it's easier said than done, especially with 2, but try and make time for yourself between feeds and ask for help with things. I begged my mum to come and clean and make tea sometimes!

Have you offered your LO more milk in the daytime. You said that she is spacing feeds out but perhaps she needs some encouragement to drink more in the daytime and sleep less.

It is a difficult thing to guess because IME babies patterns seem to change constantly and you can never quite keep up. If it is a growth spurt then waiting 3 days before making a decision may give her time to sort herself out.

Also continue asking for help. It is hard doing night feeds and entertaining a toddler as well.

I had 4 dcs in five years and ebf each one til 6 months so I totally understand your tiredness and there is no way on earth I would do it again

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. When I say spacing out she is now going 2.5hrs rather than 1.5hrs. She has too many naps but they are really short (rarely more than 30mins) and of course, being a second is often bundled into the car/pram for dd1's activities.

Its all a bit of a mess in terms of daytime routine I think.

My next goal is post bank hols as we're visiting family and don't want to take bottles etc with me!

whyme2 - that's amazing to do 4! I am in awe.

Just sleep with her, and feed lying down, then it doesn't matter how often she feeds.

I know that's a sensible solution but I'm not a co sleeping fan and I can also never fathom the whole feeding lying down thing. I always imagine only small boobed people can do it

feeding lying down can take a bit of practice. can you try it during the day at all even if its just at the weekends when you may have extra help. its perfectly doable with big boobs, the advantage I find is I don't even have to roll over to feed the second side just lean inn a bit.

I'm tired - dd2 was up feeding at 11, 1, 3 and 4.30. Am being rubbish with dd1 as am tired. Please remind me why I'm doing this again someone?