Planned night out and cluster feeding baby - WWYD

[KD0706]

DD is six weeks corrected age. Most evenings from teatime until about 10.30 are spent with her feeding on and off.
I'm due to go out for dinner next week. It's with my antenatal group from DD1 and I really want to go.

I'm torn between

1 don't go
2 go but take her (would a restaurant allow a teeny baby in at evening. Would I even want to sit in a restaurant feeding constantly)
3 leave her with DH and a bottle and hope for the best
4 ask the others if we can have take out at somebody's house and take DD with me (not sure the others will be keen on this, our nights out are usually an excuse to get all dressed up etc)

I've just realised I didn't say she's breastfed. But that's probably obvious!

If you want to go, I would take the baby - surely most of your antenatal group will have their babies with them, won't they?!

I don't think the restaurant will mind. You'll probably be exhausted though.

You are a more sociable person than me - at 6 weeks, I didn't want to be anywhere other than my own sofa! and still don't

I would go and take her in a sling to feed. I have taken mine everywhere (pubs, restaurants etc) without asking in advance. It would be discriminatory for them not to allow you to take her, as it effectively bans breastfeeding mothers, which is illegal if there is otherwise no H&S issue.

Sorry I wasn't clear. This is DD2. The antenatal friends are from DD1. So I'm the only one who has a baby at the moment.

To be honest my initial instinct was to take her but I had a kind of crisis of confidence that maybe it was ott

I went out for a meal when DD was that age and clusterfeeding but we went home at about 9pm when she'd started feeding about 8pm because my back just wouldn't take sitting in that chair feeding any longer, I needed to be somewhere comfortable. I initially wasn't going to go - it was a family meal - but a family member had had a recent terminal illness diagnosis so I changed my mind. If you can't take DD with you I'd say don't go or suggest the takeout round someone's house. I wouldn't leave her with a bottle at a time of the day when she's known to cluster feed, I'd be too worried she wouldn't take the bottle or that there wasn't enough expressed milk for her. My DD was fussy enough when cluster feeding as it was.

Hmmmmmm
Is it a relaxed kind of restaurant? How far is it from home? Has she taken a bottle before? When is the next meet up?
Don't just turn up with baby as you may be thrown out under terms of license (no under 18s after 8pm, for example). I speak from humiliating experience.

Could you email your dilemma to your ante-natal group and see what they think you should do?

I've broached the subject with a couple of the others. One said just leave her and DH will somehow cope. The other said just bring her. I've not mentioned the take out option to anybody.

We meet up every few months but this is the first time in about a year that we can all make it.

I will check with the restaurant. I just also feel bad that other diners may not want a squeaking baby. Of course I'd take her home if she started fretting too much but even intermittent squawks might be unpleasant for others who wanted a quiet dinner out.

Restaurant is a fancy pub place. So not a posh bistro but not brewers fayre either.

She was prem and came home on bottles but hasn't had a bottle since she was the equivalent of about 36 weeks gestation, so about ten weeks ago.

oh, now i understand about your antenatal friends - thought it was a bit odd that a bunch of antenatal friends planned a glam evening meetup when their babies were all 6 weeks!

I would take the baby, but be prepared to leave if I'm not enjoying it/baby not settled. She will probably sleep soundly through the whole thing and your friends will all be rushing off to get pg again because you've made it look so easy :)

I would go, with a sling to help with the feeding. I've been out and about since day 8 though (would go mad indoors all the time!) so by 6wks I was pretty comfy feeding in public etc. They are mums too aswell which is a bonus! I went for a meeting with crusty old male farmers on a hillside recently and managed to breastfeed with the help of the sling while we toured the farm, jumping streams etc.!

How far from home will you be? We went out when Dd was tiny. She had a bottle in the early eve then dp bought her to me for a feed after the main course, she fell asleep on the drive home and stayed asleep until I got back and bf her again then

Thanks everybody for your suggestions. I'm going to take her with me. I spoke to a couple of the group and they were positive about me bringing her. I will check the license details of the place we're planning on going. And the others have said we will just go elsewhere if the intended venue won't /can't allow DD in.