How to teach 3 year old that my breasts are, well, mine?

[BertieBotts]

DS is still breastfed, although normally just at bedtime for about 5 minutes, he seems to be winding down now, in that some nights he doesn't ask for it at all, asks for a cup of milk instead, or says no when offered.

If he ever feeds at other times of the day, which is rare, it's a couple of seconds, unless we're at a friend's house when they're feeding their DC and then he wants a longer feed.

The problem is that if he ever sees me topless, for example if I'm getting dressed, or just got out of the shower, or have chosen to sleep naked and he comes in in the morning, he will make a beeline for my breasts and try to grab them and touch them. I really hate this, it makes me feel pawed at and violated and is just generally not very nice. I tell him no, stop touching, you must ask, and sometimes just GET OFF ME, but he just laughs and tries harder. If DP is around he usually has to tear him off me, or if I'm on my own I just put clothes on as soon as possible (but even then he's trying to put a hand up/down my top, which is at least easier to stop.)

He never puts his hand up/down my top in public or in any situation where I'm fully clothed, and I don't let him nipple-twiddle although he used to do it when younger. It's just really stressful for me that I can't be naked around him without him making a beeline for my breasts all of a sudden. I'm guessing it's a phase, but is there anything I can do to discourage this?

I feel your pain, it's bloody annoying isn't it.

I dealt with this by never having them uncovered unless he was nursing. Not as hard as it sounds. Keep the towel firmly wrapped round boobs after shower, tuck the duvet round you if you are in bed naked, turn away so he doesn't see them when you are dressing etc etc. I found that ds1 didn't seem bothered unless he actually saw my boobs, then same as yours, started all the nonsense.

This too will pass. Takes a while though

I have the same with my DD1 except she still feeds every 5 mins. I tell her that my breasts are mine and she has to wait for me to share. She's also learning about manners so I tell her it's not polite (which normally just leads to her saying 'pleeeease?'). I think it's just one of those things that you have to tell 3 year olds 5 billion times before they get it.

I've been teaching her about personal boundaries too because she has a friend that keeps trying to tackle hug her and she doesn't want to. So I figured it was a good opportunity to tell her that it's OK to say no if she doesn't want a hug or for someone to touch her.

Sorry for the lack of proper ideas but you are not alone.