Advice on scaling down BF after 1 year

[Ramekin]

DD is nearly one, and I am hoping that over the next few months to stop BF "on demand" and move to just morning and evening feeds. (I'm also hoping to stop the nighttime feeds but perhaps that is a different thread).

Anyway, with DD1 I managed to move to just morning/evening fairly easily because I went back to work when she was 11 months, so I wasn't there in the day to feed her.

Now I am a SAHM, so in some ways it seems silly not to feed DD2 in the day - I'm here, she's here, it's free. But on the other hand, I want to stop. I'm just not sure exactly how to go about it.

She usually has a feed first thing, one mid morning, sometimes one after lunch, one mid to late afternoon, one before bed, plus one (or more) in the middle of the night. If we are out somewhere she might miss one (or even two) and she usually copes fine.

Does the fact she has so many mean she still needs a lot and I should wait for it to tail off a bit naturally before trying to cut back? Will it tail off naturally?

Should I try and stop the night feed first before attempting the day?

Should I just offer a cup of cow's milk when she grabs at my chest? (would feel a bit guilty)

She drinks water from a cup but hasn't had milk except from me since she was about 6 weeks old. She never drinks much water, so I'll probably fret about her having enough milk.

Watching with interest as in same boat.

DT1 went from about 6 in the day to 2-4 by himself (he refused some when offered so eventually I stopped offering) between 11 and 13 months. If we are out all day he seems to be ok on morning and evening feeds. DT2 has at least 4 in the day (and I lose count at night) and isn't happy skipping a feed (so I feed wherever/whenever).

So I THINK (not an expert) its down to the baby. Huge surprise eh! TBH the feeds are so quick it isn't normally a huge issue. I would rather not feed him when we're out sometimes but it makes him soooo much happier I can't justify denying it.

I think it's generally recommended to drop one feed at a time - this will be gentler on both her and you. If it's one of the daytime feeds, as she usually copes without if you're out and about, could you perhaps arrange to be out somewhere when that feed would normally happen for a week, say? You could offer her a snack and a drink instead around the same time.

DD is 9 months. We only feed morning and night now, for about 3 weeks.

I found I had to make a conscious decision about dropping feeds else I would automatically offer the boob. We dropped the lunchtime one first, then all the others together.

I still feed to sleep of an evening, we cosleep so through the night too and then before we get out of bed in the morning. Once we are out of bed that's it no more, just beakers then.

Thanks everyone. That makes sense to drop one by one. Nice sunny weather at the moment so I will try to make sure we go out every afternoon and see if she forgets about having a feed in the afternoon to start off with.