Thinking about stopping bf at 6 months- but now feel guilty

[Pos1]

Evening all,

Not too sure what I am after- I think just a bit of reassurance from those that have been there....

I have a 6 month (plus one week old) daughter whom I have bf exclusively until about 5 1/2 months - then introduced a bottle of formula occasionally as she was refusing to be fed by anything other than me. She's only just (today) taken a whole feed from it- prior to this it was only about 20-30mls. I'm pleased she has finally taken a feed as it means that I can share the responsibility of feeding, plus she took the feed from me which I presumed she wouldn't.

I've had a funny relationship with breastfeeding. Thought I'd only manage a few weeks to start with, then about 2-3 months in that I'd go for as she wanted but in the last week or two I've found it such a fag to do it. I hate it always having to be me that stops what I'm doing and she's started biting or coming off and trying to play with my nipple!

I want to stop but feel guilty which is crazy as I didn't think I'd get this far. Planning to wean slowly over a few months but can't quite shake the feeling I should just carry on, whether I want to or not. Not sure if it's got anything to do with it but I didn't bf my first due to a long boring set of circumstances and ended up expressing for her for a few months which I also found a right pain

So not sure what I'm after really - maybe for someone to tell me to stop navel gazing and just move on......

Don't feel like to have to keep on bf if you don't want to or that it's 'time' to give up if you're not sure.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing, you could phase out mostly to formula but keep a snuggly bf for the mornings and/or bedtime, if you like?

Hi Pos, it's understandable that you have mixed feelings about stopping at 6 months. I think a lot of people will identify with what you're saying.
Have you considered the fact that this may well be a short phase and the biting, distracting, etc, may stop soon? How would you feel about carrying on if feeding went back to what it was rather than the stressful experience that it has become lately?
On a practical level, perhaps you can also consider how switching her to bottle feeding completely would fit in with her habits and if it would make your life easier or not. For example, does she settle at night only with boob? Would it really be easier to change the way you feed her?
Sorry not to be more helpful. Perhaps you can just take one day at a time? Good luck whatever you decide to do

Well done for breast feeding so far - you've already out fed most other mums - I think 60% or more give up by 12 weeks. If its not driving you crazy it would be great to continue as the health benefits are huge! And who wants to faff about with bottles of it can be avoided. A lot of mums who breastfeed aim for 12 months since you can then replace breast milk with cows milk rather than shelling out a small fortune on formula. Good luck with whatever choice you make.

I sort of know how you feel. Breastfeeding for us has been a real journey of mixed emotions. DD is now just shy of 28wo and for most of the time I have thought about giving up. We started topping up with formula at day 3 under advice from the MW why the hell did I listen. We managed to stop by around 9wo but during this time I felt like I wanted to give up BF, I just hated it. I decided I would give up at 4mo. By the time she was almost 4mo she became distracted by everything and nothing has changed. I found it a constant struggle to BF her and introduced a bottle of formula a day for my sanity. I suprised myself though at 4mo by not being ready to stop, I think like you it was guilt. I felt like I owed it to her to carry on, so I did. I decided I would stop at 6mo. I know most people don't set a deadline but I just don't enjoy BF and so this helped me to carry on.

Now at 6mo I don't know what to do. I want my boobs back BUT I feel guilty. However the last few days (since we've stepped up weaning) she doesn't seem to want BF but will take FF. Perhaps she is deciding for me?! I want to carry on in the same way that I didn't want to move her from her crib to her cot. I miss her little legs popping up over the edge of the crib in the mornings. For me stopping BF is confirming that she's no longer a new born and I quite like living in that place called denial!

So I plan to carry on making it up as I go along and not decide just yet. If she lets me BF her then I will but I think I will start of reduce it down now. We're going on holiday in a few weeks and as DD has always refused to BF in public (even with a BF cover) I think that will be the clincher!

Good luck with whatever you decide. Don't feel guilty for your choices, you have already done incredibly well to get this far.

I fed all of mine to 6 months, and then stopped. I wanted my body back too. It seemed a bit of a shame with the dts because it was going so well, but I really didn't want the faffing around whilst on holiday. I felt a bit guilty, but looking back, I am happy that at least I managed to feed them all to that stage.

Maybe cut down and see how it goes? Don't beat yourself up over it, whatever you decide.

Thanks all- I think I'm an 'all or nothing' kind of person so I feel I've got to carry on or completely stop. But it makes sense to maybe wean slowly but keep the morning and evening feed.

Are the health benefits cumulative? So for instance if I were to drop (eventually) 3 out of 5 feeds, would she only get 2/5 of the health benefits compared to a baby who is completely bf, pd does it not work like that?

Thanks for the advice .......