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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding second time around...

19 replies

lovecloud · 17/02/2006 20:56

I am pregnant with my second child and hope to breastfeed.

I breastfed my first daughter and loved it so much I felt depressed for weeks when I stopped.

So needless to say I am looking forward to those precious feeding times again - just the two of us all cosy.... or will it never be like that???

I have heard a few horror stories recently from a few mums who gave up the second time as they found their toddler just too demanding when they were trying to feed the baby especially in the early days when feeding takes quite awhile to get established.

I know I will do whatever it takes to breastfeed this baby but i am worried that wont be enough, is it really more stressful b/f the second time around?

I bottlefed my best friends new born today and nothing against mothers who choose to but I really felt it is no where near as enjoyable as b/f. The baby for one is not attached to you or most of the time looking at you. You dont feel that connected as you feed so much you start talking to whoever is there and before you know it your arm has slipped further away from your body and the baby is looking in the opposite direction.

I would love to hear lots of positive stories from those if you who successfully b/f second time around and those that gave up i would like to know what made you stop so i can prepare myself.

Thank you
x

OP posts:

Yorkiegirl · 17/02/2006 21:02

Message withdrawn

Yorkiegirl · 17/02/2006 21:02

Message withdrawn

Yorkiegirl · 17/02/2006 21:02

Message withdrawn

sweetkitty · 17/02/2006 21:14

DD2 is 3 weeks old and DD1 is 18 months, fed DD1 for a year after a shaky start, I found the initial latching on part when she was born easier. I do find it difficult when DD2 is constantly wanting fed but I make sure DD1 is sorted with drinks etc first and we use this time for books/cbeebies/or a cuddle with both of them. DD1 usually comes up and snuggles into my other boob and sucks her thumb, it's really cute and cosy.

rickman · 17/02/2006 21:14

Message withdrawn

Gem13 · 17/02/2006 21:18

Second time was harder but then DS (my first) just knew what he was doing (or so it seemed).

I had DD by elective c-section which could have been a factor and she is a different person altogether. She always seemed to be overwhelmed by it and would choke, or get hiccups, or change her mind at the last moment so it was hard. Plus because there is only 18 months between them and I stopped feeding DS when he was a year,I remembered feeding as feeding a 1 year old 6 months before and a new born was not like that.

BUT... I have always been adamant I would breastfeed and because I'd done it for DS I had to do it for DD too. She finally got the hang of it and we carried on until she shook her head to say 'no thanks' one day when she was 19 months.

Next time, I will dig out those breastfeeding leaflets I got before DH's birth and swot up and be prepared for it to be difficult and not think I'm an old hand!

So, yes, I found it harder but not really due to the presence of my toddler.

popsycalindisguise · 17/02/2006 21:20

I mixed fed ds1 from early on and breastfeeding kind of tailed off by about 4 months gradually.

I was adamant that ds2 would be breastfed. DS1 was 2 years 7 months when ds2 was born. TBH it would have been mor f a hassle sorting bottles, heating bottles, washing bottles, etc wiith a boisterous 2 year old around.

I also got a baby sling (wish I had one from day one - got it around 2-3 months) and this really helped as I could move around while feeding (ds2 fed every 2 hours for months and months),

Accept ANY help from friends or family that is offered. I acepted that for the first few weeks, I would be doing very little except feeding and DH or my mum or someone took ds1 out for at least half an hour inthe day to give him a break. The minute ds2 slept, I would give undivided attention to ds1.

Ds2 will be one in a few weeks and is still breastfed. Sheer stubborness played a big part

good luck

popsycalindisguise · 17/02/2006 21:22

I had a little box for ds1 of biscuits, dried fruit etc and a small box of toys hidden behind the sofa. got a different toy out and a small snack each time in the early days and either read to him while feeding or stuck cbeebies on

Gloworm · 17/02/2006 21:30

In one sense I found it easier 2nd time (I knew what I was doing from the very beginning, it didnt matter that the hospital staff didn't always have a clue, I was much more aware of "correct position" etc from Day1)

On the other hand, you have a demanding toddler to deal with, they dont always understand that when you are feeding baby you dont have time to play with them/see to their instant need/that they must wait-a-minute! I found it useful to keep some of toddlers fav books/toys within reach of your feeding chair.

hunkermunker · 17/02/2006 21:36

I'm bfeeding DS2 who's four weeks old and DS1 is 22mo.

It's less relaxing to do during the day when DS1 is up, but we do have lovely cuddles and he's very sweet - grins at me, points and says "mok!" (milk) when he sees me feeding DS2.

Feeds when DS1 is asleep, in the evenings and at night are the more relaxed bonding ones.

There was just no question that I wouldn't make it work somehow - I'd still need to sit and feed DS2 however I did it and I have found it easier to establish this time than last, despite having mastitis this time round.

Good luck!

Gloworm · 17/02/2006 21:40

Also, toddlers seem to respond quite well to exlanations, telling them you have to feed baby and cant play with them right now etc.

Overall, I found it much easier 2nd tine round

Highlander · 18/02/2006 10:29

do you have to be more organised when #2 wakes up during the day for a feed? Do you find you have to almost anticipate when they'll wake up and sort out activities for #1?

I'm terrified that #2 will end up with short, low quality BFs if I have to abandon feeding to go and give #1 attention.

Ooh, it was all so easy with just 1

Original poster

lovecloud · 18/02/2006 11:42

Hello

Thank you for your positive and interesting posts.

I think I will out together a b/f entertaining box of treats and books for dd1 so I can please her at the same time.

She understands quite alot so I know I can explain to her that i am feeding the baby. just dont want her to resent that i cant give her my attention all the time - ah well! i guess thats life and she will have to get used to it anyway.

I am feeling quite positive now about b/f and i should not let a few horror stories scare me.

I am quite a stubborn person so i think i will get through it. first time around i remember my dh telling me that maybe i should stop when dd was two weeks old as i would cry with the pain when she latched on and my nipples were bleeding etc. But me being stubborn made me even more determined to do it so i think this time its not so much about me but more about how my dd will be.

OP posts:

Freddiecat · 04/03/2006 23:39

I stopped BF DS after 10 days as I found it such hard work. DD was born when DS was 2yrs 2 months and was breastfed until she was 16 months. DS potty trained when DD was 6 weeks which was a bit of a nightmare as he would usually start yelling for the loo just as I'd started feeding.

I decided right from the beginning that I didn't care where I fed and had no qualms about feeding in public and I think that made a big difference as it meant I could still take DS to the park etc. (cue memory of feeding whilst huddled on the the front of the pushchair in the play hut at a playground in the Pouring rain!)

VeniVidiVickiQV · 04/03/2006 23:42

AGree with other posts about a box of treats only for b/feeding times or reading stories (or in my case - emergency cbeebies on occasion )

It was harder work, and i had mastitis and thrush for the first 8 weeks, BUT i am still b/feeding now and DS is 10.5 mths and i am so glad i stuck with it.

eve2005 · 04/03/2006 23:49

am delighted to have read this thread, am preg with second baby and fed dd for one year, only stopped when three months preg. am determined to do it again no matter what but was honestly dreading it til i read this. thank you!

singersgirl · 04/03/2006 23:52

DS2 was a wonderful feeder and it was all so much easier than with DS1 - I fed DS1 till 8 months and DS2 till 26 months (wanted to do 12 months for both).

We never got on with reading books etc as DS2 would refuse to feed if I was turning pages. But I would set DS1 (then 3) up with jigsaws or Lego etc. The older one did have a habit of needing the loo when I was feeding...

milward · 04/03/2006 23:56

Have bf on demand my 4 kids. When I had dd2 I realised I had to be able to bf & do everything else at the same time - meals, play, tidy up!, get her ready to go out etc....

Never had a box of toys or snacks for dd1 (or the others as I had more kids!) just for when I bf. I bf as & when my baby needs/ needed to - so could be bf whilst others cleaning teeth, or whilst making lunch, even through potty training. bf isn't something I sit down to do or put other things on hold for.

So mix bf with what you need to do to look after your other kid & your other little one wont complain!

best wishes xxx

moondog · 05/03/2006 00:35

Lovecloud,it wasn't a problem for me at all (dd was 31/2 when her brother arrived.)
I can't imagine faffing around with bottles and powders-far easier to stick them up your jumper.
I should add that I was alone most of the time (dh works abroad) and I moved house (alone!) when the new baby was 4 weeks old.
Good luck!

(Didn't know you had Mastitis Hunker! What a bummer!)

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