Extended breastfeeders - over here, please!

[skrullandcrossbones]

I'd welcome tips from all you lovely extended breastfeeders out there, as I don't know any here in RL.

DD is 11 months and ebf (obv. on solids too). I gave up bfing at 12-13 months with both her brothers, but would like to continue longer with her for various reasons. But I'd like to be able to cut it down to just one feed before bedtime.

Any tips at all about extended breastfeeding would be welcomed - anything you wish you'd known before you embarked, anything you'd tell someone else?

bump

As children get older, you can introduce bf 'manners' to them. For example, an older toddler could be told 'no milk' at certain times and as long as it's clear to the child when they are and aren't allowed they may well accept it.

Can I ask why you would like to cut it down to one feed before bedtime?

I think my only tip would be to cut down the feeds very gradually. Easier for your dd and for your supply.

My boys have always been ok with reducing feeds, but every child is different. Go with the flow would be my advice. If she is finding the reduction in feeds difficult, then stick on that amount of feeds for a while before reducing it again.

Thanks both of you.

Latrucha, it doesn't need to be an immediate thing (the cutting down to one feed before bedtime) but there are a few reasons I'd like to do it

• one, I'd rather not feed an older child out and about (quite surprised at myself for admitting that, since I have no issues bf'ing everywhere and anywhere now).
• two, I do find bf'ing quite tiring, and if I am completely honest, I must admit that I would like to be able to cuddle/comfort DD etc. without necessarily having to feed her. I think I feel a bit drained by 5 years of being constantly pg or bf, and would like to feel I have my body to myself a bit. But I do really want her to have the benefit of bf too.

I don't really have a set amount of feeds at the moment - just whenever she wants it. Tends to be 2 or 3 times during the day and a lot at night (we co-sleep).

I too am wondering what life not being pg or bf is like and I too have been doing it constantly for five years! I am going away in August for a week and I wouldn't be at all bothered if DS stopped then. I don't know why. I know all the benefits of extended bf but this is my honest feeling. I would like to know what effects it has on my body and all round levels of energy. I'm under no illusions of the benefits to DS. He is very keen and loves it.

Feeding at night was the first thing I cut. I was just fed up with it. He accepted it pretty quickly (we co-sleep too). He does ask sometimes and if he's ill or teething I might give in but usually he settles down after being told.

Feeding out and about was something I decided I wanted to stop over winter. There was no way I wanted to be lifting my top in freezing playgrounds. I insituted a 'no milk outside' rule and DS accepted it preyty quickly, although he would have been a bit older then.

I agree with Iliketomoveit - a gradual cutting back will be easiest for you both. Is it the bedtime feed she likes most? With my DS the hardest one to drop will be the morning one. He's not fussed at bedtime

Sounds like we're in a similar situation latrucha. I think my energy levels might get a real boost when I stop bf (at least I hope so, as I feel quite drained now).

How old was your DS when you stopped feeding at night? And when you stopped feeding out and about? And now?

I think I will wait another month or two and then try stopping bf at night. I did stop bf'ing DS1 at night while still co-sleeping, but I can't remember how?! I think he was generally more accepting - DS2 would just refuse to take no for an answer, and I ended up doing it by moving him into the cot, and getting DH to re-settle him, which worked.

Bf'ing her to sleep at night is really quick and easy so wouldn't mind keeping that going. I don't know if she has a favourite feed, will have to think about that...

He was under a year. I think the first time he was about 8 months. We then had a period of going back to it at just over a year and I stopped that a little while later.

He would have been around 18 months when I stopped feeding outside. He's 22 months now.

Well with DD I went down the route of don't offer don't refusse after 12months this is gentail mother led weaning. I also tought her that milk was for home only and would offer her a snack and/or drink when out and about. She accepted this quit well most of the time.

Although this time round I've throw all that out the window and will feed DS pirty much when and where he wants it. He's 18months.

Yes, that's the standard thing isn't it? - don't offer, don't refuse.

I've also been constantly pg and/or bfing for 4 and a bit years. Just finished tandem feeding about a month ago and feel a lot better for that so just feeding my almost 2 year old now.

I also stopped feeding her out and about at about 18 months and she is now feeding 3 times a day (first thing, nap time and bed time) which suits us fine.

I would say don't be afraid to put limits and boundaries on feeding a toddler. It has to be a partnership between you and them and i'd you're not happy you'll end up resenting them still feeding. And don't be afraid to stop when you've had enough. I think when i'd got past about 2.5 with dd1 it felt like I never be able to stop until she decided to, but in actual fact she's adapted really well to no longer feeding.

That's all very helpful. I think placing boundaries will be important for me. Not yet - she still feels like a baby and I'm still feeding on demand. But I think it won't be long, maybe just a few months, till I feel different about that.

The 'don't offer, don't refuse' idea is good - but if I am putting boundaries on it, then I will be refusing. I suppose, as long as it's clear when I will refuse (out and about, middle of night) and when I won't (home, in the day, and eventually just at bedtime) then DD will adapt to the rules.

It will hopefully feel more obvious when I get to that stage - because i didn't get that far with my DSs, I am probably over-thinking it....