Co-sleeping position

[ag123]

I realise this might be better in 'sleep' but there always seem to be so many co-sleepers posting on here that i thought someone might be able to help...
I always understood that the safest place for baby to be was on the outside of the bed but I was just reading this article on Kellymom (the fountain of all bf knowledge) about how to feed side lying without having to move baby about in the night and she mentions she started doing this so that baby would be nice and safe in between her and her husband and not fall out of bed in the night. Have I been getting it wrong?

Hmm, it might depend on your DH, how heavily he sleeps, whether or not he's on any meds etc. I think fathers are less aware of babies than mothers are when they are asleep. But it's not wrong to have your baby on the outside of the bed, I've nearly always done it that way and it's never been a problem.

That's what the article says, you haven't got that wrong
I think it's up to you to put baby either in the middle or on the side. It's whatever you're most comfortable with. Personally I think that if you have a large bed baby is safer in the middle.

I usually prefer to put DS on the outside of the bed (which is against the end of his cot, so I don't need a bed rail or any extra protection) as DH is a very heavy sleeper. It also means I can extend my arm around DS without podging DH in the back. If I do move DS to the middle it's in the early hours when DH sleeps lighter as he gets up for work very early.

It's nice if we're all snoozing-but-not-fully-asleep on a weekend morning to have DS in the middle though, in a big family jumble. I also sometimes put DS in the middle to kick DH in the kidneys if he's not waking up to help me in a morning

Hmm ok thanks. Yes dh is quite a heavy sleeper which is why I've always had him on the outside I suppose. I do actually have a bedside crib which he hardly ever goes in as i find it a complete faff to have to move him around at night so I suppose I'll just have to be a bit more vigilant about keeping it at the side of the bed, especially now he's four months and starting to get interested in rolling..!

I wouldn't do this, what if you fell asleep and smothered the baby, or is that just me. My boobs are quite big, and become quite floppy.

What...co-sleep?

Interesting as certainly I understood that a babys hould sleep on the outsdie of the bed, both due to overheating and the fact that Dads are more likey to overlay as not always as responsive to infants as Mums are. I think the studies done at the Durham University Sleep lab have shown this.

I wonder if it's because they tend to only have sheets as covers in America so they don't need to worry quite so much about smothering and overheating?

No not co sleep, I do that. I meant the bit about leaning over the baby to feed from the top breast. I would worry that if i dozed, which I regularly do when feeding at night, that the breast would smother the baby.

Personally I wouldn't put the baby between me and hubby, you're going to be much more cautious than he is plus men tend to sleep heavier. I slept in our spare bedroom for a few weeks when DS arrived and I'd put him in a horse shoe shape of pillows so he wouldnt roll off or i wouldnt roll onto him. But if you can't do that then I suggest two pillows either side of the baby.

we have our bed pushed up against the wall, its a futon so low and the baby sleeps at the wall side, then me and then dp and i did do the lean over to feed with the other breast but propped myself up on my elbow so i didnt fall asleep, i would imagine if you did go to sleep you would naturally roll back a bit so your boob woulsnt smother the baby?

I'm happy to have mine between us, as my DH is fully on board with co sleeping and seems quite in tune with us, and never drinks/smokes etc. He actually wakes up if he thinks we've been 'too quiet' in his own words, out of paranoia! DD is almost 6wks and never a hint of a problem with overlaying.

IIRC the 'not in the middle' stance is also do to the risk of overheating (two adults in close proximity to baby instead of just one), and the risk of lack of oxygen if both the parents are facing baby and breathing onto baby (exhaled breath is high in CO2 which is very slightly denser than fresh air).