Help with weaning please!!!

[Jakeyblueblue]

Hi! Was hoping some other BF mums may be able to help me with a dilemma I find myself in!
My son is just approaching one and has been EBF. Without me doing anything he has got himself into quite a nice routine. We co sleep, so he still feeds regularly at night, with his last feed about 7.30. He then goes all day until around 5pm when he has quite a big feed. He then starts feeding again around 9 pm and is on an off the boob all night! Am an extended breastfeeding supporter and would gladly let him self wean but am starting to get really twitched about having a second baby.
The problem is that I was an nhs employee until last October when we were taken over by a social enterprise. Our nhs terms and conditions are protected until oct 2013, but then they can change everything. It's highly likely they will reduce our maternity entitlements quite significantly and this is what's worrying me. It took some time to concieve my son, so whilst 2013 seems ages away, in reality it may not be! Ideally I would like to be pregnant early next year so I am entitled to a paid years mat leave but my periods are yet to return!
As a result I am starting to think about weaning. Ideally I would like to carry on feeding my son as long as possible and to tandem nurse with a new baby, but where do I start? Shall I just start by trying to drop the tea time feed, which would give me a 12 hr break during the day to see if this triggers ovulation again? Or do you think it's the night feeding that I should try to reduce? My general plan is to shave the feeds down bit by but to see if my periods return without having to wean entirely. Or should I just forget it and let him self wean? It's cutting the night feeds down that really bothers me as we co sleep and both love it and don't want night time to become a battle! Is there such a thing as gentle night weaning??? Does anyone have any tips, ideas, comments?
It really is a very difficult dilemma! My heart is telling me to carry on and not start to wean but my head is telling me that in reality, we can't afford for me to have unpaid mat leave or months of just SMP! I should imagine someone will pop up to tell me I am being selfish and I should concentrate on the child I have got! But I really think that a brother or sister would benefit my son in the long run, also if we have more money, we can afford for him to have the best! Help someone!!!!! Soooooo difficult!

Sorry I should also say that he is a great little eater too. On 3 good meals and lots of snacks!

i would say its the night feeding thats stopping your periods, i alway sfound this to be the case anyway :)

with mine i would give them a feed at bedtime and then i gradually got them to go longer during the night so they would go down at say 8pm and i would manage to not feed them till midnight and then that stretched to 1am-2am etc until eventually they were going through till about 6am. BUT this was a gradual process, from your sons age ish i would try to pat or shusshh them back to sleep, or cuddle etc, if they really wanted a feed i never refused, ti was a very gradual process tbh. i didnt have to stop co-sleeping either :) we carried on doing that until they were 3ish.

for some genlte methods look at the elizabeth pantley methods,i used this a bit tho didnt know it at the time!

btw i never really got a proper period back but did get pregnant whilst still bfeeding, but was having a good 6hr break OVERNIGHT and i think that is why and i then carried on feeding and ended up tandem feeding, not planned just the way it worked out.

so yes i think you can gently night wean, just lots of cuddles and nudging them i the right direction, it was a bit 2 steps forward one step back, i dont think there is a 'quick fix' unless you are prepared to go cold turkey and that was something i didnt want to force onto my children.

so yes it can be done, but it will take patience on your part and gentle encouragement for your son :)

Thanks that's really helpful, I suspect it's the night feeds too but like you, am not prepared to go cold turkey. He doesnt go down until quite late to be honest. Last feed usually about 10! He won't sleep before then as hard as I try! He then goes until about 2, but will then root 2 hrly until he gets up at about 9. I guess my best bet would be to try to push that 2am feed out to 4 over a period of time. That would give me six hrs clear. I think the tea time feed would be easy to stop too. He loves his food so could just offer his tea before I offer the Breast and see if that helps! Thanks again. Any other advice mums? :)

I have heard a short time away (e.g. a weekend/overnight) from baby without feeding (minimal expressing as needed) can help restart periods though obviously you do ovulate before you have a period so you can get pg without having your first post-baby period.

The average for periods returning is 14m so you aren't that far off the average time either.

We weaned da off night feeds very gently and it went well first I spent a few nights timing feeds and they seemed to last no more than 10 mins. After that I timed each night feed and took him off after 10 mins to make sure it didn't last any longer than that. He would let out a little yell at being disturbed but go straight to sleep again once cosy in his cot. After that we reduced the feeds by one minute every 2/3 nights until it was down to 2 mins a feed. At that point we found he was waking less for feeds anyway as it wasn't worth it. We then just tried not getting him straight away when he woke to see if he would drop off again and most of the time he just went back to sleep within a minute. He got to the point he was down to one feed a night then he just stopped waking for that one after did the 'wait and see' thing for a minute when he woke.

yes what truth sweet said pretty sure i got preg with ds3 because i went away overnight and left ds2, yes he was still bfeeding at night but actually he was fine with daddy! :) and i went away when ds3 was still bfeeding at night, i think he was about 18mths old? and again he was fine with daddy, the first thing he did when i got back was have a feed, but he was totally fine with me not there :)

and yes pushing that 2am feed out over a period of time would help, i vaguelly remember reading somewhere that a 6hr block with no feeding in the night is when you start to loose the protection bfeeding gives you against pregnancy. but as truthsweet says you are not far of the average time so they may come back anyway, mine didnt until more like 18mths and even then they were more like spotting and not a proper period, it didnt stop me getting pregnant tho :)

I have 18 month old twins and have just had my first period. I am back at work full time, so both babies don't breastfeed for 14+ hours Monday to Friday, but they do feed a lot at night.

Until very recently (last month or so?) they've both been having a huge breastfeed at about 7pm, then sleeping til about midnight, then feeding approx 3 or 4 times between midnight and 6am. Recently, DT1 has slept through from 7pm to about 5am about once a week, they've both cut a feed or two from a normal night, and I've had one night away from them (first thing Thursday to last thing Friday). I still feed them a couple of times a day each if I am at home.

So, after that very long story, I think just dropping a couple of feeds a night has brought my periods back. The night away can't have hurt either, though I've only done that twice in 18 months, so I've no idea if it helped.

Could your DH cosleep with the baby for a few nights a week? Despite feeding all night when I'm there, my two got on fine with just DH or my mum when I wasn't there, and DH and mum used their cots all night (whereas I cosleep from their first wakings). They're surprisingly adaptable if you're not there - there's no way I could not feed them if I was there as they'd get distraught.

Good luck with the reduction in feeds and the subsequent TTC :)

Thanks guys, you have given me some ideas of where to start. Am going to try and push out that 2am feed. At least if I start now, if it takes some time, then I will still have some time to concieve before next oct. If that doesn't work and still no period at the end of the year then I will try sleeping elsewhere for a night or two a week and let him sleep in with dh. He will be 18 months then so he should be ok from what you are saying. Thanks again, any more ideas welcome!

Hi I managed to get my dd onto just feeding in the day in the hope that my periods would restart....it didn't happen also did the gentle weaning of daytime feeds and she now only feeds in the evenings for thirty mins and still no sign of a period!!! I am also ttc number 2 but I'm not getting anywhere! Dd celebrated her first birthday last week so was hopeful I would be pregnant by now but no joy! Sorry it's not a helpful post on how to achieve anything just didn't want you to struggle through night weaning under the belief that your period will return, never mind all these poas predictor kits for ovulation and pregnancy I want one that's going to tell me when my periods will restart!!

No, I know it's not always that easy! Am just keeping my fingers crossed that I am not one of the unlucky ones who need to completely wean to get things going again! Thanks for the post and good luck with baby number 2!

Hi there , r.e night weaning. I just night weaned my 8 month and we still co sleep and plan on continuing. I read a very interesting article about babies actually wake up from fear in the night and by breast feeding we are actually conditioning them to repress their fears and making sleep issue worse. The funny thing is night weaning has actually brought me and Dd closer since we now hug and snuggle together instead of me sticking a boob in her mouth. Can't link as I'm on my phone but if you google 'hand in Hand parenting patty wipflet nursing article' you should find it , let me know if you don't. What I loved about this approach is that it helps you to understand why might weaning is good for child not just a selfish thing mummy does! Good luck !

Oh sorry that should be patty wipfler not wipflet!

Hiya if you are TTC or thinking about TTC whilst breastfeeding you are welcome to join us here Lots of tips and ideas. Its not busy at the moment but it could be!

I have a 13 mo DD haven't fed in the day for 4 months now but continue to feed at night (approx 11, 2 and 5am) and still found my periods returning when she was 10 mo. We co sleep from first or second wake up (depending on how tired I am) I returned to work when she was 9mo and wonder if it was doing something not baby related that helped them come back. Are you a SAHM or working? Maybe try to go out without baby occasionally if you are home all the time?

Defiantly try is dropping the 5pm feed. I used to have to do a feed then too but found a snack of yoghurt usually puts her off until after tea. Or try an early tea and then a supper before bed. Do you feed to sleep? My DD will sometimes go without a bedtime feed (often early evening milk revs her up!) and this also helps me have a longer gap between feeds.

Hi, sorry for late replies. Thanks for all your ideas and tips. In answer to your questions, I have just gone back to work part time. Been back since beg of April working 3 days 8-4 so am having that bit of time away. Feed to sleep yes, although he will go to sleep via other methods if needed. Glad to hear that periods can return without night weaning and also that some of you have found it relatively easy. Am going to look up that Article and join the forums suggested! Tonight, I have reverted back to old school tactics! My mum suggested giving him a bed time snack to see if this makes him sleep longer. So have given him an Ella's kitchen. Fruit and baby rice pouch to see if this helps! Am not convinced though as he still glugged a load of milk 20 mins after