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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

couple of questions about bf 14 mo

10 replies

madam1mim · 12/05/2012 21:00

hiya, I am currently bf 14 mo dd first thing in morning, early afternoon for her nap, before bed and once in the night. I am happy still bf her but it would be useful if I could maybe drop the early afternoon feed. I am a single mum and so would give me more flexibility etc. I am concerned about how much milk a 14!! Mo needs and would I need to replace with milk in a cup? It would also be fantastic if I could stop feeding her in the night but I don't know how and she will only fall asleep on the book! Any ideas much appreciated.

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Original poster
madam1mim · 12/05/2012 21:02

book meant to be boob !

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thisisyesterday · 12/05/2012 21:07

i wouldn't think you necessarily need to replace it with anything as long as she has a good and varied diet generally? unless she wants something to replace it

do you offer or does she ask?
if she is actively asking for it i would go with distraction. either make sure you're always doing something at that time of the day so she doesn't think about it, or if she asks then just say "ok, let's just do..." and make it something really fun. give her a small snack while you do it and she might forget!

KittieCat · 12/05/2012 21:25

DS is 17 mo and still bf. Every day is different with him, I find if he's busy and has cows milk in his sippy cup and a few snacks he will happily forget the odd feed.

He will not give up (or wait for) his morning feed but can be flexible with the others.

As thisisyesterday asked, does your DD ask for it, could she be distracted?

I also agree you shouldn't get too hung up on how much milk should replace bf'ing, trust your DD, she won't starve herself, nor will she go thirsty, as long as there is milk on offer rather than water.

Original poster
madam1mim · 12/05/2012 21:39

thank you both for the advice. Not having to replace with a cup is certainly easier! I try and get her to eat well and she has yogurt, cheese etc so hopefully will be getting lots of calcium that way. The trouble is she needs her feed to get her off to sleep. I have tried to not give her a feed at nap and in the night and given her a cuddle instead but she gets so worked up and upset I just give in. I think because I'm on my own with her I lack the energy to get tough!

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thisisyesterday · 12/05/2012 22:41

will she go to sleep in the pushchair or car? you could try that for a while

i don't think you need to get tough though, if it works for you then there's no reason to stop unless you really want to.

she's still young

Original poster
madam1mim · 13/05/2012 19:09

thanks thisis , she will fall asleep in the pushchair but I can't guarantee I'll always be out when she needs her nap. I am happy to keep feeding her but I am getting a lot of pressure off my ex who is saying she does not need it and is moaning because he only gets 3 hours with her before she needs feeding. By the way, he is abusive and been violent to me. In some ways it would be an advantage for me too to drop the feed as if I needed to leave her with family etc I could. What do you think about the night time feed?

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Janoschi · 13/05/2012 19:14

Same situation here with 12mo DD. She won't fall asleep without bf. Otherwise she eats fine, not at all picky. No idea how to stop feeding her because with-holding bf means night times and nap times turn into sobathons, whereas usually they're warm, cuddly and quiet.

Any tips appreciated! Especially want to lose the nap one and pref the middle-of-the-night one!

thisisyesterday · 13/05/2012 19:31

well IME they will drop the nighttime one when they are ready tbh.

personally i preferred to just feed them back to sleep in the night as it was the path of least resistance and i couldn't bear to have any of mine crying and not knowing why i was refusing to feed them.

BUT I have a partner who could take them in the morning and stuff like that, I wasn't dealing with it by myself and I'm guessing that makes a big difference.
There certainly are gentler ways of sleep training than controlled crying etc.
we used the no-cry sleep solution to cut down on ds2's night-wakings when he was about 10 months. I think there is a toddler version of it which has ways of night weaning totally.

But I would take it one feed at a time. so pick the one you'd most like to drop and work on that first, then give it a fair few weeks before you start to try and drop the next one.
Not only will it be gentler on your baby, but it will give your body time to adjust so you don't end up with mastitis or anything!

Original poster
madam1mim · 13/05/2012 19:52

I agree with you about the controlled crying, definitely not a path I want to go down. I am just so jealous of mums who have bf babies who sleep through! Its been so long since I had a full nights sleep I think I am really losing my marbles. Good tip about dropping one feed at a time. I think I might give the daytime one a go and worry about the night later. Here's hoping she will do that one on her own!

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Original poster
madam1mim · 14/05/2012 19:51

day one with noon nap time feed and all ok..apart from she didn't have a proper nap! sorry about all the questions but do you know how many feeds she actually needs at this age? Or is it literally whatever she asks for? I think I have always offered more than she demands.

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