11.5 mth old won't accept anything other than BF: tips on a strategy needed!

[cremedelacreme]

For various reasons, it was difficult to give DD2 a bottle during the recommended intro period (4-6 weeks) so I didn't. And then for the same reasons, I carried on just EBF. But now DD2 is nearly 11.5 months old I'd really like to introduce a bottle or cup of milk so that I can go for the occasional night out and start to crank up the freelancing again (and attend meetings etc). My DH would also like to be able to feed DD (he fed DD1 a bottle and really enjoyed it).

History: she readily drinks water from a cup and has done so from 7 months. She loves anything cooked/prepared with cows milk (eg. porridge) and has taken DD1's cup of bedtime milk and had a swig. But she won't entertain the idea of formula from bottle or cup at all. And won't take cow's milk from either vessel when it's offered properly by DH as a bedtime drink (ie. she swigs, but waits for me to come BF).

What's the best way to proceed? To try cow's milk in a cup for the afternoon feed, given by DH, and then to take it from there? To be fair to DD2, we've only tried the cup and bottle twice each. Before we try again, it'd be good to hear what's worked for others. And could I just skip the formula and go straight to cow's milk, since she's not far off the 1 yr mark?

Thanks!

Odd night out at this age, I'd just do it, if a drink was desired then yes I'd give regular milk. Ds is younger and I am happy to do the odd four stretch out even though he doesn't take a bottle.

Thanks Penguin.

The issue is that I still feed DD2 to sleep ! So, by the time I've fed her at bedtime, it's rather late and so I could only go out locally. So, now I want to stop feeding her to sleep, and for someone else to be able to give her bedtime milk (and perhaps at other times of the day, when necessary).

Should I definitely stick with a cup, because she drinks water well from it? Or might a bottle work better? Would it be silly, though, to introduce a bottle at this late stage, or whatever works?! And should I introduce/test bottle or cup at time other than bedtime because, quite frankly, if she doesn't get any milk at bedtime she'll be hungy and definitely won't go to sleep!

bump!

DD never took a bottle until I got one of those ones with handles when she was about 11 mo and after that we didn't look back. I still bf her until she was 14 mo but at least she'd drink milk if I went out.

To be honest though, given you know she can drink from a cup & a bottle, I'd just go out & leave your DH to it. I don't suppose he's going to have the most relaxed evening as your DD is probably going to kick up a bit of a fuss but, if you're not there, she's either going to decide she doesn't want the milk (not the end of the world at her age) or take it from the cup/bottle.

I'd either just leave it, as suggested, or go for a cup. Bottles aren't recommended after a year due to them being bad for teeth, so would probably be silly to introduce one now!

Is it the taste? Too warm/cold? Cows milk is pretty full on compared to BM.

I'd try a different milk (eg calcium enriched coconut or oat milk) and go out in the afternoon and leave your DH to it. So she knows youre out. Worse that happens is you come home if she's not asleep. But babies are pretty resilient and she should be ok.

With ds we introduced a cup of milk at bedtime months before I stopped the bedtime bf. so when I did go out, he'd be used to having milk and would take more if I wasn't there. DH would then rich or cuddle to sleep.

DS (DC3) was exactly the same and I worried that I'd never be able to leave the house without him ever again. He was also having a feed just before bedtime (and again at 11pm) and then first thing in the morning. We'd tried everything - every different vessel, different people, different temperatures etc etc.

In the end, at 12m, I just went out one evening and DH had a beaker of milk at the ready for the bedtime feed. DS sipped a bit, shouted a bit then went to sleep. Same happened at 11pm. He then woke in the night and shouted a bit more :( but I just stayed out of sight (and smell!). DH was on duty for the next week and it took another couple of nights of a bit of sipping, a bit of shouting and then on the fourth evening, he just drank the milk from the beaker and that was that.

Honestly hadn't thought it would be that simple, but it really was. You have to be strong though and not go to her.

Most of the time I feed DS to sleep but DH can rock him as well. You don't have to stop your method of getting him to sleep but you can give DH a chance to develop his own technique

Agree with PenguinArmy. Have a test day/night where you give bf as part of dinner/bath/pyjamas in the evening so she is full and then let dh get her to sleep some how (cuddling, patting, walking around, rocking, singing...) with you on standby just in case.

Dh was so pleased with himself first time he got ds to sleep.

I wouldn't start on a bottle at this age as you are supposed to wean them off it at 1 year for their teeth. I'd keep going with the cup though as its something they need to master anyway. You can get those waterbottles with a straw built in too.

Thanks everyone! I think what makes it seem daunting is that even when I b/f, if I don't feed for at least an hour, she won't go to sleep at all. Last night she screamed for 45 mins after I put her down (dh was going in every 5 mins or so). In end I gave up and fed some more. She fell asleep in less than 2 mins.

She is teething so b/f will be giving her comfort but she's always been the same, just taking longer than usual. this is why ibwant a break from bedtime b/feeding but it's going to be a hard slog (ESP for dh) to sort this, isn't it?

But advice re b/f and then letting dh takeover with own routine is sensible, thank you!