Stopping morning feed - what to replace with

[tomverlaine]

DS is 2 and I am thinking about stopping bf. He feeds before bed and first thing in the morning. It is the morning one that has me concerned - he gets up around 5am and comes in with me and basically nurses /sleeps for anything up to 2-3hrs then we get up/get dressed and have breakfast. If i stop feeding him what can I do? just get up at 5? give him breakfast early- or try and give him a bottle in bed. I am concerned on a practical level and on an emotional level as this is a very tactile/cuddly feed

Is the giving up of the feed something that is definitely going to happen or is it something you are thinking about doing?

You could try delaying the feeding by cuddling to start with if DS will oblige then bfing later and later into the cuddle, or try resettling him back in bed as you might if he woke in the night (perhaps putting his waking forward bit by bit until he gets up at a more 'reasonable' hour) but I really wouldn't give a bottle as it's generally recommended to stop all bottles by 12m due to dental issues.

If you don't want to stop this feed now he will drop it of his own volition (though it may take some time) as children will self-wean given enough time. The normal ages for self weaning are considered to be 2 1/2 to 7y with an average of about 4y though the later stages of self weaning feeds may be weeks apart (DD2 is 4y 6m and nurses about once every 1-3 weeks to not very much at all).

I am a bit ambivalent about it as you can tell - more because I'll miss it and I know he will be upset - but from a practical side I have some trips away so if I am feeding I have to express to keep the milk flowing - and I never saw myself bf at this age

Depending on how long you are away I don't think you need to express to keep up supply at this age. But I only fed to 20 months so no expert.

If you want to replace it with something, what about a sippy cup with cows milk? What happens when you're away?

Also, when I stopped feeding DD1 I worried about missing the cuddles etc but we still cuddle loads, and often at the same times we would have breastfed.

At 2 I doubt you'd need to express unless you got pretty uncomfortable as at this stage of lactation milk is made more during a feed than in advance of a feed so you aren't really storing great amounts of milk.

DD2 didn't feed for a week at a time when she was 2y due to me being in hospital twice and she fed just fine on my return and hadn't forgot how to feed (she had cow's milk as she got too distressed seeing me in hospital to visit). DD3 was visiting for feeds once or twice a day (she was 6m & 9m at the time) so I was tandem nursing rather than just feeding a 2y so the clock had been reset so to speak when DD3 was born (i.e. I had a 6m lactation history not a 2y history IYSWIM).