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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Am I irresponsible not to buy bottles/formula before the birth

41 replies

PinkPepper · 10/05/2012 00:22

I am due my first in a couple of months and am planning on breastfeeding. I really don't see not breastfeeding as an option and so wasn't planning on buying anything except lanisoh and breast pads and then later when more established getting any expressing stuff then.

If for some reason I needed formula I am 5mins (literally) away from a big tescos that is open 24 hours every day except saturday night and sunday night. I am also 5mins from the hospital if that makes any difference. I have enough support that I feel someone could bring me something if I needed it.

However my mother is a bit worried that I might be 'caught without anything' and now it seems to have contagioued DP, who, though really supportive of me bfing, is scared I might be at home needing something when he goes back to work (which will be two weeks after baby is born)

Am I mad? I don't want to put my baby at any risk of starvation or anything but I want to be confident in breastfeeding and feel that in a tired state if I am having problems or percieve myself to be having problems I'd rather have a bit of an enforced stop gap before getting a bottle out the cupboard.

I hope that makes sense. None of my family or DPs have breastfed so I'm kind of going against the grain it feels at times.

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 10/05/2012 00:26

Not irresponsible :-)

CointreauVersial · 10/05/2012 00:26

I didn't have any bottles. I couldn't conceive of not being able to bf.

TheCatInTheHairnet · 10/05/2012 00:27

I didn't buy any bottles, etc in advance either. If you need them after a couple of days, you can nip out to the shop and get them! As can DP, MIL, your mum, etc etc......

Popoozle · 10/05/2012 00:32

I agree with the other replies - if you plan to BF then there is no need to rush out and buy formula. As you say, if you do need to use formula then you are close enough to Tesco to send someone out to get some.

It probably wouldn't hurt to get a few bottles though as you may want to express breastmilk at some point. That isn't likely to happen right away but if you are under pressure to get some in "just incase" then you could do as they probably won't go to waste. Hope that makes sense Grin.

BertieBotts · 10/05/2012 00:39

No, not at all! And your idea of the enforced stop gap is very wise - it's exactly why formula companies in the US send out sample tins of formula to expectant mums, so they will have some in the house and at that awful night at 3am, they use it. Whereas if you don't have the option, you may well still have an awful night, but you get through it in other ways.

The baby won't starve if you are for some (unlikely!) reason unable to breastfeed him or her for a few hours.

Suggestions instead of formula for terrible nights/pain/stress are:

Phone a breastfeeding helpline
MUMSNET.
Put baby in the cot and go down to the bottom of the garden for 5 minutes just to breathe (or get DH/friend/a neighbour to take them out for a walk)
Take baby for a drive in the car
Nipple creams - now these ARE a good idea to buy in advance, or see if your midwife has any spare sample sachets
Emergency 3am chocolate (for you, obv! Grin)
Friend/sister with an older baby who you can ring and cry at or rely on for short notice company (doesn't work so well if they're going to give you a sympathetic hug and then suggest formula though, however well-meaning...)
Co-sleep, as a matter of course (helps to avoid extreme tiredness)
Breastfeeding group you attend regularly (helps to pre-empt problems before they get out of control)

Anyone else?

Nubianqueen · 10/05/2012 00:43

My son is 22 months and my daughter is 5 months. Did not buy bottles or milk bacause I decided it was breast feeding all the way. When I went back to work after my first he refused formula milk from a bottle. I had to be pumping every night for him to have milk during the day. He never took a bottle instead I want straight to a feeding cup. I am now trying my little one with express milk in a bottle which she refuses to drink. I do have more success with a cup once a week.

midori1999 · 10/05/2012 00:52

No, it's not irresponsible at all, your baby won't starve suddenly even if there's a problem of some sort.

I have always bought bottles/steriliser, but more as they were on offer and I wanted to be able to express later on, but I have never bought formula at all prior to my DC being born, despite having swapped to formula quite early with my first 3 DC. Like you, I didn't feel I wouldn't be able to get it at short notice if I really needed to.

Firawla · 10/05/2012 01:06

You're right that you don't need to buy it, maybe your mum is just panicking and not confident about bf - so just ignore her.

With my first, actually bf did not go that well and I did get to the stage where he just would not latch on at all and refused to feed (i still dont know why Confused my others have never done it) so I had to emergency run to the supermarket and buy formula for him, but as you are 5 mins from the shops its hardly going to be a big deal even if you do.

My 2nd i had the formula and bottles in, in a "just incase" kind of thing but it was really tempting and i started mixed feeding him really early which tbh was not really necessary, bf didnt last that long for him as i got too used to just ff him mostly

3rd time round i didnt make that mistake again and didnt buy anything in.

I think you will be fine, its hard to keep on going when you are tired and things not going easily and you have a box of formula sat there in the cupboard, so if you are very determined just see how you get on first without it

Original poster
PinkPepper · 10/05/2012 01:24

Thanks everyone. Think you are right firawla my mum wants to support me but she just thinks she's helping when she maybe isn't. I've already told her I won't be needing bottles for 'water' Hmm but I guess advice has changed since she fed me?

I've explained my reasonings to them both and they do agree with what I'm saying. It's just later in the day when my brain starts ticking and I worry maybe I'm the wrong one!

Thanks so much again. Will deff be turning here if I have any problems.

OP posts:
TheSurgeonsMate · 10/05/2012 12:34

Could I make one further point that arose from my situation. I was told to use formula top-ups by a doctor at one stage. If you do any reading around the topic (I hadn't done much) you'll see that there are a number of ways such a story could go and this post isn't about that.

BUT! If I had my time over, I would wish to avoid the chaos added into my life by (1) not knowing whether I should have on opinion on brands of formula to choose; and (2) not having any experience of making it up, with the not quite boiling water.

SO - If I were you I'd check I knew where to buy pre-made cartons of a brand you're happy with. Just in case.

Figgygal · 10/05/2012 12:38

Hi

I was determined to bf too but had some emergency cartons and a bottle just in case, though that was because i had ds 2 days before christmas and wouldn't have been able to get anything in an emergency. Turned out i needed it in the end as he wasn't getting enough so glad i did but imagine you should be fine.

lagoonhaze · 10/05/2012 12:47

There are so many myths about breadtfeeding you would be wise to read up as much as possible so you don't fall for old outdated advice.

This will protect you from the likely need for bottles in the early days and damaging pressure from other family members!

duchesse · 10/05/2012 12:47

I never had bottles or formula in before the birth. In fact not until several months later. If you live so close to a 24 h tesco I cannot imagine you'd have any trouble locating some whenever you need them. Even in the unlikely event of your baby needing bottles and formula between midnight on a Saturday and 10 am on a Sunday morning when the shop will be shut, there are duty pharmacies in every town, friends and relations with such things etc etc...

BerryLellow · 10/05/2012 12:52

Not irresponsible at all - as others have said there's a lot of outdated advice out there, and a lot of misconceptions about how breastfeeding actually works.

Bookmark kellymom.com for those late night freak outs about it - it was invaluable to me for things like cluster feeding, the weird 'empty feeling' around 6 weeks etc.

Good luck!

igggi · 10/05/2012 12:54

If you think your relatives are unsupportive of your decision to bf (or just not very understanding) there's also the risk they just give the baby a bottle while you're having a nap sometime. Bf can take some days to establish: needing to take a bit of time to source the formula could work to your advantage, rather than a desperate, middle of the night decision.

nickelhasababy · 10/05/2012 12:54

i didn't buy anything like that.

my sister sent her sterlizing kit up to me when dd was 4 days old (when my parents visited)
i tried a bit of expressing, but didn't really use the milk, and i used the sterlizer a couple of weeks ago to send some milk up yo my friend.

in short, i haven't needed the sterlizer or bottles and i haven't used formula.

(and shops are open should you need them...)

nickelhasababy · 10/05/2012 12:56

it might be worth telling your DP that you feel he is undermining your plan to BF, by insinuating that you will fail and therefore need back-up.
Wink

ChunkyPickle · 10/05/2012 13:07

I was in Canada when I had mine, and I did have free samples (both powdered and pre-mix bottles) sent to me as free samples, and one night, about 2 weeks in, my DP came very close to letting me sleep and giving DS a bottle. He didn't, and I'm glad he didn't (I tried some of the stuff and I don't think DS would have gone anywhere near it anyway). I wouldn't have been happy if he had (although obviously it wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world - we'd have got over it!)

I don't think that you will be the issue, but having it in the house will tempt your DP, who will probably be knackered, and shell-shocked with the whole thing, and worried about you being tired too and will one day consider giving the baby a bottle to give you a rest.

If you feel strongly about that, then don't have it in the house.

Oh... and... Don't buy the expressing stuff unless you need to - I did, because I assumed it would be convenient only to discover that I'm rubbish at expressing, and DS couldn't figure out what to do with a bottle at all so I had a wasted 50 quids-worth of equipment

nickelhasababy · 10/05/2012 13:08

chunky - i concur - i had a couple of storage bottles and expressed by hand - the bottles can be sterlized in a jug of boiling water/ the oven to dry or the dishwasher.

HipHopOpotomus · 10/05/2012 13:11

YANBU
Best of luck!

HipHopOpotomus · 10/05/2012 13:11

sorry - YABU irresponsible :)

FioFio · 10/05/2012 13:15

you wont put your baby at risk of starvation. You have a 24hr tesco by your house and your breasts will be full of milk.

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay · 10/05/2012 13:19

You are very unlikely to end up 'caught without anything'. If you decide you need or want to give formula top ups, or move to ff, this is not a split second decision that needs instant action. Unless you live somewhere where you need to order in groceries on the next boat, you will have plenty of time to go to the shops!

Also, without wanting to be rude to your DH, the idea that you will be 'stuck at home needing something' when he goes back to work is perhaps a wee bit unrealistic and over protective. Unless you have real serious complications with the delivery so you are basically incapacitated (highly, highly unlikely and in which case you would likely need help with baby care generally anyway, so would be unlikely to be alone), you should be capable of popping to a local shop after two weeks.

TruthSweet · 10/05/2012 13:39

If you ask to get shown how to hand express in hospital and have something small like an egg cup, medicine cup or a small glass that can be sterilised (pan of boiling water in the hob will do fine) then you can cup feed and you won't need bottles and formula. You can even finger feed (dip finger in expressed breast milk and let baby suck your finger) if you like.

Of course, if bfing is going well then you'll just feed baby from your breasts rather than faffing about with anything else Grin

Congratulations on your upcoming baby. Enjoy the newborn snuggles.

notcitrus · 10/05/2012 13:41

YANBU. Best advice i got was from antenatal teacher who said 'you live in London. there are shops!' - ie buy almost nothing until after the baby arrives.

to be fair i did pack dp off to mothercare to buy lansinoh, a breast pump, and every overpriced bit of stuff that might help bf, while i had hysterics at home around day 5, and luckily he got there just before closing time, but turned out local shops actually sold the first two anyway.

I used a saucepan to sterilise a couple bottles around 6wks in, and a few cartons of formula and luckily then got help to resolve bf problems, so never learned how to make up powdered stuff.

If family want to help they can look up where to find nearest bf and other support groups on every day of the week, how to get there and phone them all to check they are still running, as info tends to get out of date and they never mention being shut for half term, which as you've given birth you will now know psychically when that is...