tried to cut the bedtime feed and failed last night.

[familyfun]

dd is 17 months and was bf 6 or 7 times a day until march but i noticed on hol she only fed for a few seconds and it was a habit so in the day i stopped offering bf and she didnt ask so it rapidly dropped to 3 feeds a day, 4am, 5pm,8pm.
i have cut the 5pm feed by removing the feeding cushion from view and doing dinner earlier, so she has 5am,8pm and im trying to move the 5am forward but she wakes for it still.
she has become a lot more indepndent in the day suddenly, not sure if its her age or because she isnt clinging to me feeding all the time.
i want to swap the bedtime feed for a cup of milk so she can have stories/milk/bed with sister.

she loves cows milk and drinks loads all day from a beaker and straw.
dp gave them both cup of milk last night with stories, but then dd2 cried mama mama solidly for 10 mins and i gave up and brougt her down for a feed.
dp said he thinks she would have fallen asleep but she hadnt drunk much and i didnt want her to cry to sleep.
should i try again tonight or leave it a week.
ideally id like to stop bf as im not feeling well currently and i want dd2 to gain independence and i stopped feeding dd1 at a similar age.

I'm still feeding my DS in the day, but at night the only way to stop him feeding is if DP sees to him instead of me! If I go he won't stop crying unti he's had afeed, if DP goes he has a cuddle then falls asleep!

Hi FF. I think you can only stop the BF when you heart is really in it. And I would start with the one you want to lose the most, and if you drop the bedtime one, she may then drop the 5am on her own, as she's no longer using the boob as a prop. Replacing boob with a special cup of milks sounds like a great idea.

You could keep trying with the bedtime cup of milk, and make it DP's thing (so she knows boobs aren't available). I only managed to get DS off the boob before bed by offering a drink of milk (plus I knew he'd eaten well in the day) before bed, and again when he woke up. He still has milk before bed now at 22 months, as well as a cup in the morning (he wakes around 5.30am).

Just stick what feels right for you and your DD, it's only a 'problem' if you feel it's making you stressed or tired.

Let us know how you get on.

bedtime cows milk is really bad for their teeth.

i am so very tired and worn out at the moment, i would like to drop the bedtime one if possible.
dd1 is 4 and still has bedtime milk but she brushed her teeth after so surely thats not bad.

no that isn't bad then :)

well i bathed them together, gave them both milk cups and read stories and put them to bed, took them 15 mins to settle but dd2 never mentioned milk so for the first time ever she is asleep without a bf.
wonder if she will sleep through till 5/6 or if i will be up in night.
plan to carry on the early morn feed for a while longer if she wants it as she has loads in morn and still eats tons of food.

Hey FF, how did the night go? Did she sleep through?

urgh, she woke at 12.30 shouting mama mama and dp brought her to me so i fed her, she fed loads and then slept through till 6. she didnt have the mron feed so wondering now when she will feed again, either bedtime or earlier as it will have been ages since a feed or middle of night again??
i want to end it gently so i dont feel guilty.

thanks for asking sharkskin

Sounds like you are making progress, so cut yourself some slack! Maybe both of you aren't quite ready for it to end yet.

She doesn't physically need the milk to get through the night but perhaps she still needs to security of something? I guess you don't want her waking at 12.30am every night to feed, do you?!

What's your ideal outcome? Milk (be it cup or boob) before bed and then not again until morning?

well she has gone to bed with a cup of milk again so hasnt bf all day, for now my ideal outcome would be a morning bf at about 6/7am and then cups of milk whenever she wants until bedtime, non at night.
and let her drop the last feed as and when she is ready.
she hasnt asked for a feed all day.
maybe she has stopped, or maybe i will be up at midnight again?
she sat on my lap snuggling while drinking her milk and having stories with her sis so im still getting my cuddles

Aw, bless her! I think your gentle approach is clearly the right one! Did you do ok last night, or up again?

My DS (who eats like a Trojan and has a big drink of milk before bed) was awake and raring to go at 4.45am...thank god for work today!

xx

she woke at 2.30 for a feed which i gave her then straight back to cot till 6.45 so she had a good night sleep and so did i so she went over 24 hrs without a feed.
she hasnt asked for a feed yet today, im going to try same tonight and hope she lasts a bit longer through night and hopefully it will end up an early morn feed 6ish or drop it.

she eats loads all day and drinks tons of milk/water so shouldnt be hungry/thirsrty.

well she slept through last night and hasnt fed since so her last bf was 2.30 thurs night, well early hours fri morn, so i think she may be stopped.

my boobs are hurting though.

Well done you sounds like you are on right track.

we are only on one feed at bedtime have been for some time now and he is 20mths and ideally bank hol weekend he will be 21mths so plan to cut that out as well, childcare nights when he is really tired will have a good 20mins feed and nights when he has been home with us he is not so tired as has a better lunchtime nap and he prob has 10mins of feed and lots of buggering about (gets offered for 25mins and then bed) - other feeds were not hard to cut out but he associates this with bed and has never ever drank milk out of a beaker only milk he has now is 120mls roughly cows milk on porridge in morning plus a yogurt or 2 in day and sometimes some butter on toast on some cheese.

We have brought a peppa pig dvd so plan after bath for husband to read a story as now and offer beaker with milk plus his water beaker as alternative and watch a peppa pig then go to bed .........

Family fun sounds like you have it cracked hope its as easy this end

were not quite done, she fed sat night at 4 and sun night at 5 so it is pushing forwARD to be a morning feed which im fine about. she doesnt mention feeds in the day or at bedtime and its helped as she now goes to bed at the same time as her sister and they dont wake each other.