Breastfeeding at 6+ months

[booomchikkawowow]

I'm not even sure what my question is really! My DS is nearly 9 months and I ebf till 6 months, then he started having one bottle of formula before bed. He now feeds overnight, once in the morning and occaisonally in the afternoon, so not a lot really.

Everytime i've been feeding him lately I just hate it! He wiggles around so much now he can crawl. Plus I sometimes I want to just be left alone. Including pregnancy he's been taking from me for 18 months now and I just want to be me again. I want to lose some weight and bf makes me hungry!

On the other hand, I think about how much it will cost in formula and I secretly love how proud everyone is that i've managed this long. When people ask about DS and they find out i still feed him I always get approving looks, and i am proud as had several bouts of mastitis and thrush, its bloody hard work in the beginning. The fact a lot of friends have newborns at the mo and I know I'll feel bad giving DS formula when they're having bf, even though he's much older.

I know formula won't kill him but the fact i've made it to 9 months I know i'll look back and be gutted I didn't make it to 12. I'm a young mum and don't intend on having another baby for a good 5+ years yet so maybe its the thought of him not being my baby anymore if I stop bf aswell!

I just don't know what to do! If anyone else went through a similar dilema please give me some advice! Thanks!

forgot to add our local bfing ground only allows babies up to 6 months so I can't go anymore and feel completley lonely in this!

It's rubbish your local group only allows up to 6 months! Surely you'd be an inspiration for other mothers to continue past the 'magic' 6 month barrier! Your question highlights EXACTLY the sort of issue you need support with past 6 months. BF is not all about early latch issues, oversupply and getting used to sleep deprivation... Is there a LLL league meeting or NCT Bumps & Babies near you - you might find other 'extended' (barely) breastfeeders there.

I totally know where you're coming from though I have no intention of stopping bf yet (DS is 8mo and a massive exploratory wriggler). Some days I have to repeat the oft-quoted mantra: I breastfed yesterday, I breastfed today, I will try to breastfeed tomorrow. It sounds like you want to continue BF but are going through a tough patch. You have to weigh up whether the physical benefits of getting your body back might be outdone by the emotional weight of giving up, and only you can answer that, but it might help if you had some support!

I'm sure you've tried already but try waiting til he's very sleepy and/or feed in darkened room with few distractions (no good if you're out, of course). You should be proud of what you've done and continue to do.

My ds is nearly 12 months. He currently has a bf first thing in the morning and last thing at night - going to cut the morning feed in a week or so as he doesn't really ask for it any more, then plan to try and drop the bedtime feed. He takes cows milk nicely from a cup.

I would keep going - just because as you have said it is MUCH cheaper and also easier just to carry on with what you are doing. Once you are only doing first and last feeds it is much less hassle as it doesn't effect what you are doing in the day at all.

But - if he has already had formula with no problems then at least you know you could just move him over to formula. I guess only you can weigh up the options. The older ds gets the more I realise that - as everyone says - they grow up really quickly and what is really important one month is completely forgotten the next. So, do what you think is best but don't worry too much!

Why don't you just take it week by week instead of deciding now whether to carry on for another 3 months? Ask yourself if you're up for another week every Monday morning.
Also it doesn't need to be black or white. You could introduce a bottle and mix feed now that he's 9 months.
You can diet while bf and you're allowed to eat more because you're bf. Again it doesn't have to be black or white.

You could try weight watchers for the weight? they allow extra points for bf. Also, you could try and get someone to babysit for an hour once a week while you go to an excersise class? Might help shift the weight and make you feel a bit more 'you' again? Well done for getting this far whatever you do, especially since you have been banished from the support group! How risiculous! xx

Well done you've done so well! I was a young Mum (relative to all the other bf Mums I met anyway - not sure how old you are) I was 24 when I had my first, none of my friends had babies and I found my confidence was quite low. I often thought my friends (mostly 10-15 years older) seemed assured in their choices for feeding/sleeping etc but I think sometimes older Mums can come across more competent because they have just got more life experience and confidence - it doesn't mean they are doing things better than you. I gave up at 8 months with my first and I didn't really have a reason - just a lot of insecurities. I think I just picked up lots of subtle cues that breastfeeding is something that should only happen for a few months and if you keep going it can cause all kinds of problems. Other friends gave up quite quickly and I did start to feel quite alone!

Now I'm on my 3rd baby and I regret not feeding my others for longer. I think there's a lot of mixed messages out there (like bf group for babies up to 6 months - I mean come on that is ridiculous! What simpleton thought up that concept?) This time I'm going for the year and open minded about when I will stop - but it will be when I am completely ready!

No one can decide for you, and if you give up that is, of course fine, you've given the baby a brilliant start! But it sounds to me like there is definitely part of you that wants to carry on...

First, can I say that in my experience (n=1) things hit a low around 8months when DS was at his most wiggly.

I went back to work at 9months and that improved things as he was feeding to sleep (and all effing night but that's another issue). At the weekend he got a midday feed in a dark room before his nap.

I had wanted to keep going for the first month I was back at work so we could go on a summer holiday without needing formula.

One thing lead to another & we are still feeding at bed time & in the morning age 18 months. I enjoy it loads as it is a quiet cuddly time for him & me, and slightly makes up for not seeing him during the day. He no longer wiggles but does giggle, blow me raspberries and tickle me when I'm not paying attention.

You've done brilliantly to get this far. As others have said, one dayy at a time & I reckon you'll surprise yourself.

P.S. I would be having strong words with your local bf group about the 6 month rule. Outrageous.

Thanks so much for the advice everyone! I think I am going to try and keep going, he's nine months in one weeks time so maybe set myself that goal and see how I feel then!

Deffo need to get my bum to an exercise class. To be honest I think I'm using the bf excuse alot anyway!

missd i was 20 when i had him, 21 now! I don't know anyone my age who breastfeeds, that's why i relied on the local baby cafe so much! met a few friends there but all seem have to stopped between 4 and 6 months.

Its rubbish that the breastfeeding group is 6months and under, but it is sooo busy that they said they had to focus on the new mums and getting them established. It's a bit unfair to assume those with 6mo+ don't have problems! When I first took DS there at 8 days old it was the more experienced mums that helped more than the midwives!

Was feeling a bit teary when I originally wrote that post so thank you all for trudging through it and for the time to reply! Am going to start taking it day by day!

Hello - sounds like you've got it sorted but just to add another vote to the 'just do it for another week then see how you go' school of thought. I have got past 12 months and it does get a lot easier as some feeds get dropped and it doesn't matter if others are a bit late. Its also a godsend when they are upset/injured - way more effective than calpol.

If you do a bit of exercise, and watch what you eat, the weight should drop off if you are bfing. I only say should as I haven't managed the watching what you eat bit....

Ithought 12 months was a good goal as then I would not have to worry about formula and could give cow's milk - I dreaded doing the formula thing and not getting it right.

In the ned i did it for about 15 months three times. By then I wanted my body back and the toddlers were just too physical and demanding and rough.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Just do it a day at a time. DD turned 1 last week and she's still being BF, though like you I was going to pack it in at 6 months. It was only when I got to 6 months that I realised they can't drink cows milk and she hated bottles. So I figured it was daft to try to wean her onto formula, only to then switch to cows milk a few months further on. So I stuck with it, day by day.

I want my boobs back now and am trying to get her off the BF. But she's teething and it settles her... always another bloody reason!

Unlike you, no-one was that impressed by me breastfeeding. Family considered me weird once I got past 4 months. Making a rod for your back, making you ill, no benefit to baby now, looks creepy... all this stuff. Only person impressed is my HV, bless her.

Good luck though! You're doing well.

I was 20 when I had DS too, and I also found that I was a bit of an odd one out among younger mums - couldn't go to the young mums' group as they'd all sit there and snigger at me

Luckily there was another young mum around the same time (our DCs are similar age too) who also breastfed so I didn't feel like the odd one out totally. But most of my bf friends are older now.

There might be other groups in your area you could meet people at?

OP, I had a paediatrician tell me that even if my LO only had a tablespoon of BM a day he was still getting almost all the benefits of exclusive breast feeding because the less milk you are making the more concentrated the good stuff is. If you are feeling overwhelmed by BF what about just cutting back a little, perhaps a first thing in the morning feed and/or a last thing one. I found those ones to have less toddler gymnastics.

It can be really useful (if incredibly annoying at times) to be BF a toddler, when they start getting overwhelmed by life or during the witching hour you have a panacea. When they get pink eye you have some miracle medicine. When they start to walk and have a big fall and grazed knees and cry like the world is ending you have the worlds best pacifier. It really helps moderate the toddler woes.

Plus the longer you feed (even if only a few times a day) the less likely you are to get breast cancer. That to me was a big reason to continue, I've seen too many of my friends suffer with it.