please help, baby screaming at the breast, very worried about nipple confusion...

[averagemum]

Hello, my ds2 is one month old and bf from birth, but I'm now really worried I've buggered things up. He's been taking a dummy which I've found really useful when I've needed to sort out my older ds (who was bf for 8 months, no dummies or bottles), also 4 nights ago we started giving him a bottle of EBM at 10.30pm so my DP could do a feed and I could sleep a longer stretch - all seemed to be working well. BUT last night we had a terrible night with him screaming at the breast, not latching on, or latching then pulling off, nothing like a calm easy night feed. He has been the same this morning, but will suck my finger or a dummy happily. He has done this before (I mean before introducing the bottle), mainly at 6pm-7pm just when I'm putting DS1 to bed after baths, and it seemed to be tiredness - as soon as he finally latched he wouldn't feed but just crash out. Might it have been overtiredness in the night? Or nipple confusion? I don't think it's wind because he will often just pull off when he needs a burp, and it really seems to be a latching on issue. Have I messed everything up? Sorry to be dramatic, I just feel so upset that we're both finding feeds so stressful. Any advice or insight would be really gratefully received!

averagemum, sorry about the bad night :(

Here's some ideas:

• it could be a one off, mysterious, and not repeated. Babies do this sometimes.
• it could be related to the bottle and the dummy - those are two different ways to suck on top of the sucking he does when bf, and while there is not a great deal of evidence for true 'nipple confusion', I think it is plausible that babies can sometimes get frustrated and cross with these different stimuli....so dropping the dummy and the bottle for the time being would be worth a try
• you have had a supply dip because of giving the ebm - long gaps between bf are not good for the supply and your baby is very young still, with bf still getting established - and this has frustrated your baby. Again, drop the expressing and bottle feeding for the moment

Whatever it is, you haven't done anything permanent, and things will get back to normal.....I do think it's worth considering suspending the bottle at least and possibly the dummy as well. Keeping your baby close and snuggled in to you, and responding quickly to feeding cues will help calm things down :)

Thank you so much for this reassuring reply tiktok - I think part of it was feeling terribly guilty that I'd done things to make my life easier and had put bfing at risjk as a consequence... But, yes, will declare a bottle- and dummy-free zone for the next few days and see if that makes a difference. He has fed today, still with fussing, but at least has fed. The thing is, he seems to be a very speedy feeder (like his brother actually). He can be done in just 5 mins. I think he then wants to sleep, and when he stirs and cries a little I assume it must be hunger and hassle him to go back on the breast... which he gets irritated by. Does that sound plausible to you? Thanks again - at least I've stopped crying and we've had a long nap together this morning.

Glad things are a bit better, average :) It's sensible to offer him the breast when he whimpers - it's prob the 'hassling' that's irritating him, as you suspect. Just follow his cues.