Natty comebacks to Dear mother ( and others) about BF on Demand...

[thegauntlet]

Anyone got any ideas. I am feeling slightly fragile and find it difficult to defend my position on feeding on demand.

DD2 is 6 weeks and thriving.. the whole time I bf DD1 ( to 9 months) my mum kept hinting that she would do better being on a schedule as 'all her babies slept through and fed 4 hourly' . Now after another commend from my grandma about being disorganised i am wondering if anyone has any good one-liners i can defend myself with (and boost my confidence with!)

I have said 'well it is current advice to feed on demand, it is different from when you were feeding' but that is snapped at ' well you all seemed ok- why would advice be different, babies are the same..'

sleepstarved I'm in Ireland and I still hear that about drinking Guinness now :)

DS2 is bf on demand still at 13 months. He obviously doesn't feed as often as he did and can go long periods (such as when I'm at work) without but I have kept up a good supply by not refusing when he asks. I have learnt to ignore ignore ignore (or nod and smile) when people make remarks or criticise. None of their business.

thanks all x

I have a feeling I may face similar comments from my otherwise supportive mother when I visit her next. I am going to say "I'm happy, she's happy, daddy's happy... What's the problem?". I've been really worrying about it (ridiculous how our mothers can knock our confidence still), so thanks for all the great ideas!!

I think many of these comments come from a place of insecurity with their own parenting choices and an inability to see their 'little girl' as an adult and mother. And sometimes a cack-handed genuine desire to help.
My own mother was incredibly cats bum about my feeding DDs on demand. I just used to waft it off, saying airily, oh I don't mind, and changing the subject. Rational discussion was pointless. This weekend my brother told me that my mother had told him that I was bringing up my DC in such a totally different way to how she did it and that perhaps she had got it wrong but she was following the advice of her day and doing her best .

That's sad, helium :( Your DM was doing her best with the information and support she had, same as any mum.

That's a good point helium and I think worth bearing in mind. Current advice and guidelines are so very different from those our mums were given. To them, they can end up feeling that they did everything wrong. Must be very difficult to hear and see your daughter doing it all in a different way.....not that this excuses silly comments and overbearing interference but definitely worth remembering.

Oh love this thread! I'm currently bf on demand my 5 week old and its going really well so I get a bit down when mil or whoever comes out with some stupid comment. Mil said the other day she couldn't wait till I started expressing as we could get into more of a schedule then- what she actually meant was hurry up and get into a routine so I can spend more time with the baby! Needless to say i've now changed my mind about expressing the odd bottle! Anyway, I feed on demand and my baby often sleeps for 5 hours straight thru the night so my reply is she's obv happy!

'Back in my day' piffle. Ignore.

Would she like you to strap the baby to a board and hang it up in the living room too? Because that was done back in someone's day.

Advice changes as medical and social knowledge changes.