Could I please have some very quick advice for my friend

[Memoo]

Her ds was born on Tuesday at 35+6.

Normal vaginal delivery. Weighed just under 7lbs. no problems at all despite being quite early.

Friend is still in hospital because baby hasn't put any weight on. They have said he can't go home until he does and they are getting friend to top up feeds with a bottle. She desperately wants to breast feed and I know she'll be gutted not to. I feel she is being bullied into give bottles and we are worried the bottle feeding is going to hinder her establishing breast feeding.

She is feeling pretty helpless. I have told her to think about discharging herself and coming home but I'm not sure that's the right thing to do plus she wants to do what the midwives are telling her.

Help!

I can't really help I'm afraid, but is there a feeding advisor or lactation consultant at the hospital she can speak to? Maybe they could check all was well with the latch etc and liase with the midwives/paediatricians on her behalf or with her?

I agree with midori. She needs to get very assertive and demand to see a specialist lactation/infancy feeding consultant.

I'm not sure but I'll ask her. I'm miles away so can't get to the hospital to help so it's really frustrating. It will break her heart not to breast feed. Her dh said to me the midwives seem to want her to do what is easiest for them rather than what friend wants to do.

Ps this is not me having a go at midwives. I know they are extremely understaffed and most do their very best in very stressful circumstances.

She does need to get assertive but it's her first baby and she seems very overwhelmed and vulnerable and is not up to standing up to the midwives plus her dh us useless

The same thing happened to my SIL. Her ds was born 5 weeks early. I was really hard for her to watch other, formula fed babies going home earlier then her, because her ds was gaining weight more slowly. Are you able to speak to her dh to encourage him and give him the information necessary so that he can be assertive on his behalf? Is there anyone who lives closer to your friend who could go and support her in hospital?

It, not I

As far as I know it is normal for babies to lose a %age of their body weight after birth.

DD took weeks to get back to birthweight (we were having issues with bf). Midwife was a bit concerned but not hugely and she never once suggested FF

See that's what I thought too. All three of mine lost a bit of weight.

I'm going to ring her mil later, I have a good excuse to. I'll see if she can speak up for her.

I thought if I could at least arm my friend with the facts she has more ammunition and can be more assertive.

If he is 5 days old then it would be very common for bf babiesto be below birth weight. I had a similar gestation baby who was smaller and a consultant paed was happy to send us home at 200g under birth weight at 5 days.

Is he latching properly and having lots of wet and dirty nappies? If so I wouldn't be too concerned at this stage.

If top ups are required then expressing would be an option instead of formula to avoid affecting supply

He should have stopped losing weight by now - but not really have put weight on above birthweight.

Not clear from your post what's happening.

Agree she needs to see someone knowledgable.

Babies of this gestation don't always feed effectively - they may look as if they are, but they're not. So she does need good help - hope she gets it.

It is normal for babies to lose weight after birth, and not especially unusual for them to not get back to birthweight until 10-14 days, but this baby is a bit premature, which may be a concern and also you say the baby hasn't gained any weight at all, not just sin't back to birthweight, which may or may not be concerning midwives.

I'm assuming she's seen a paediatrician regarding this and it's not just midwives overseeing her?

Also, she can 'top up' with expressed milk instead of formula, there is no reason it needs to be formula specifically and this will obviously help to keep her supply up too.

Has your friend mentioned any pain/nipple damage at all? Or wet/dirty nappies?

If your friend struggles to be assertive, a feeding advisor/lactation consultant who can be an advocate for her may really help.

What's the support for BF like in the community? If good then yes j would discharge sounds like she's not much real support in there!