Any suggestions on my toddler-weaning plan?

[DitaVonCheese]

Am currently tandem feeding 3.5 yo DD and 9 mo DS and heartily fed up of it. DD is and always has been boob-obsessed, DS tbh isn't really bothered and sees me as more of teething toy/scratching post My current plan is to wean them both when DS turns one in three months' time. I don't think it's going to be very hard to wean him but I think DD will be a nightmare - she's far more emotionally demanding generally and is very attached to my boobs for comfort etc. I want it to be as painless as possible but I do need to stop now.

Anyway, this is my weaning plan, would welcome any feedback or suggestions:

• atm we only have bf in the house. Will try to cut out daytime feeds so it's only in bed, so then we'll be down to mornings and evenings. May need to make more effort to interact with DD instead (/recompense with biscuits? Prob a bad idea - she might accept books instead)

• might be able to cut out the morning one by getting up earlier, but UGH. Atm bfing is the price I pay for a lie-in of sorts. Occasionally when DD has overslept and I've got up first, she's not actually asked for the feed. But currently she comes and gets into bed with us about 6.30 and waits for her alarm to go off at 7. Perhaps i can drug her ... This one might need more thought. Can start by limiting length of feeds maybe?

• bedtime one. Currently feed her to sleep. Thought I could change it to quick feed followed by book and back rub, gradually decreasing length of feed and then swap to something else?

TIA :)

Ooh, not sure with your 3.5 yr old DD. I would think distraction is a good idea with games, books and inaccessible clothing on you! I second the cutting down feeds. I dropped the mid morning one first and did not replace it with anything and saw what DD did and she was not bothered. I then dropped the mid pm one and replaced it with a drink and snack. Then I dropped the morning one and got DD straight up And gave her b'fast straightaway. This worked. Then my milk ran out after about 6 weeks and DD was not bothered when I replaced the night bf which had turned into a dry nurse with a drink of milk. Good luck!

Thanks for posting on my thread, I think your plan sounds good. The move from anytime at home to just in bed would go quite easily if you can be, as someone advised me, cheerful and consistent, and I have set up a whole pantheon of "special" drinks: individual cartons of banana/strawberry/vanilla soya milk, fruit smoothies, suckable packets of fromage frais, frubes (will phase these out in the coming 2 months, certainly they won't be coming on holiday with us in July).

And I do have to read/tell more stories. Just started with Noddy, these are so tedious longer than previous books so work well, and so many to choose from

Bed time, DD had been switching from boob to boob for ages and not consistently feeding to sleep, so I'm used to her feeding then getting into bed and I sing to her, a dozen few rounds of Morning Town/Baby Beluga by Raffi. I would often say, that's going to be the last boobie then she'd get into bed after. However there are times I could kick myself for having woken DD up too much by making her get into bed then have to sing or at least sit next to her in the dark for another 20 mins. We do have a 'deal' that DD is allowed to get out of bed once and that's it, and have bit more milk. This usually happens if she's had a long nap so is less tired.

Still I think aiming for something after bf before sleep is best, to start with, eventually stopping the bedtime feed altogether. It's prob going to take 2-3 months to get to that point.

Good luck, it will be fine

Thanks both :)

Distraction only really works with her if I manage to keep her so distracted that it doesn't occur to her to ask if that makes sense - if she asks and I tell her that we'll have boob later then she will remember and ask again. But just keeping her busy could work.

In fairness, she has responded pretty well to the various limits I've introduced over the past 18 months - first night weaning, then only bfing at home, then no bf until her alarm goes off in the morning. She generally also accepts now that she can't have bf immediately before a meal. Also I think she is actually asking less than she used to during the day, so perhaps she's gradually weaning anyway and I can just help things along a bit :)

Special drinks sound good, or she is completely obsessed with frozen stuff (tubes of yogurt, icelollies, icecreams, even frozen fruit and peas) so I could make some healthy lollies etc to negotiate with.

We are going on holiday with inlaws at the end of June so I'll be restricting bfing to our bedroom anyway, just not sure whether to start now so we're ready then or to wait until then and let the change of scenery etc introduce the idea that bf is only for the bedroom now. Perhaps I'll see how exciting I can be this weekend to distract her away from daytime feeds :)

Thanks for the replies and virtual handholding, it's good to have a plan!