Evening cluster feeding-will she ever grow out of it?

[southfacingpuddles]

Hello

My DD is 10 weeks old and currently begins feeding around 6pm. I manage to squeeze in a bath some evenings but she breastfeeds 6-7ish then has c.4oz formula around 7.30/8(I'm always out of milk by then) then starts back on the boob around 9, and generally is on and off, but mainly on, till 11/11.30 ish. My DS was going to bed by now and we miss our evenings! She then sleeps till normally 3am, today it was 4am as she literally didn't have a break from feeding last evening.

Can I expect an end in sight where she might settle for some part of the evening so we can maybe eat at the same time? (currently we tag team with my husband bouncing her on the gym ball while I inhale a plate of food) if it might blow over, when might it be? And can I do anything about it...?

Generally during the day she feeds 6.30/7am then wants to go straight back to sleep for 2 hours (her night is in the wrong place!) and from then on only just 3-hourly during the day, occasionally one 3.5hr gap if she's distracted by being in the pushchair or fast asleep in the car/sling.

Any tips/shared experiences gratefully received!

Oh, and just to add in, she takes an hour or so to feed normally... She was tongue tied and was cut at 8 weeks, rather late... In fact, reading this I'm amazed I'm still breastfeeding at all! Well done me!

I don't have a tip really. It will get better gradually but not today. I was a zombie for months but was a SAHM and got through it . Youngest is now 17 (years) but I vividly remember the depths of exhaustion. I could go to sleep standing up! Just rest when you can.

My mother, of course, told me I should feed every 4 hours and let the babies scream if they were hungry before then and that they would 'soon learn.' I didn't of course. Well done for bfing after the tongue-tie cut etc.

Yes, she will grow out of it. My dd was exactly the same (she's now 10 months). Eventually the feeds will get shorter - she used to feed for approx 40mins-1hr and it now barely takes 5 minutes. I couldn't tell you when it happened, I just realised it wasn't one day. Keep a bedtime routine in place, and keep going - the only constant with babies is change :-)

Hmmm, sounds like life in my household.
Can you console yourself with the fact she seems to manage a four hour sleep stint at night, which is pretty good going? I also take my DD2 to get weighed; seeing the ounces go on makes me feel it's worthwhile. I also always go back to bed during her morning nap if I possibly can, and am trying to feed more in the day (I wake her if she naps more than 2 hrs). DH gives any bottles so I can rest. Although I eat meals quickly if she is crying, I do know she won't explode if she has to wait a bit: close the door so you can't hear her cry and give yourself 10 minutes to put yourself first so you are not utterly frazzled.
Babies change all the time. My 12 week old is already feeding faster, sleeping longer at night and being chatty/ interactive than 2 weeks ago. Though my experience with DD1 teaches me she will sometimes revert when going through a growth spurt and I just have to ride with it!

When DD2 was that age she was similar. To make things easier this is what we did:

• ate dinner earlier, around 5:30 or so (practically the minute DH got in the door). This also helped DD1 get some focused attention from us.
• we kept her in her pram in the living room with us until we went up to bed. Meant I didn't feel resentful that I was spending hours feeding while DH watched tv
• after DD1 went to bed, we switched the living room to bedtime mode. Lights off, talk softly, tv on low.

We got through it eventually and by 4 months she was settling around 10pm in our room and only waking twice in the night. And now at 8 months she goes down at 7pm (and has done since about 6 months) and we don't hear a peep from her until we go to bed (at which point she wakes every 2 hours, but that's a whole different problem that we're dealing with )

Just a thought re eating dinner, have you tried feeding her while eating your dinner (or doing any other activity - she doesn't have to be fed in a darkened room ) DH finally got our lives back, just a little, when we realised that the best way to enjoy a meal together in peace (at home or in a restaurant) was to feed DD at the same time. Works best if it's a meal you can eat one handed though!