BF'ing...... so many questions!

[Hotpotpie]

my LO is 10 days old today, we got off to a really rocky start due to a tongue tie but thats been cut and things are starting to improve finally however I do have a few things that are bugging me that I need to ask

• my nipples are ruined thanks to some vicious feeding with the tongue tie how long do they take to start toughening up?

• DD is currently poo'ing at least 8 times a day, I find this excessive given that everything I read says 2-3 but is it normal?

• I was having issues with feeds taking up to two hours, thats settled down in to half an hour which is much better but now we have a three hour period of a night were she is feeding for half an hour to 40 mins every hour, is this cluster feeding? I have to sleep down stairs with her because she wont settle in her crib only in her pram and its really getting me down

any help wpuld be greatly appreciated

Someone more qualified than me will come along but I didn't want to leave you hanging in the middle of the night.

It all sounds like normal tiny baby stuff to me and it's so hard and so exhausting. But it does get better so hang on in there.

I think you're right about cluster feeding and my advice is to just go with it - it doesn't last forever and in my opinion it's easier than the alternative.

I had awful cracked and painful nipples with both of my DC. If you've got the tongue-tie sorted and you feel that your latch is right, it really is just a case of looking after them (lots of lanisoh and I found wandering around with my boobs out letting them 'air- dry' helped a bit. They need to heal and once they have it'll be fine.

My only other thought is to give co-sleeping a try. I found that helped me get through the early months with my sanity intact.

This does get better I promise. And well done for making it this far.

thanks limelight I think I just need to know that stuff is normal at the moment what with her being my first, my partner is lovely and supportive but the master of thoughtless comments, he keeps saying that he cant remember looking after his five year old being so hard, its been leaving me wondering if im doing the right thing bf'ing as she was bottle fed, hes also after getting a dummy but I seem to remember getting told not too for at least a month as it can effect latching on and shes bad enough at that already

Ive been really tearful the last few days general exhaustion mainly and the worry im doing the wrong thing pushing to breast feed but tonight have decided to stop fighting it and just go with her routine and to ask about the things im unsure of - has helped just writing that first post - first day with no tears and dd latching on every time :)

Firstly well done with bfeeding - hard work with a tongue tie! My DD2 had it, got snipped at 5wks and nipples improved in a week and I used lots of Lansinoh. I found she reduced number of feeds and nappies too. When tongue tied she was very windy (parp )!
The other stuff; number of nappies sounds normal. Defo try co-sleeping as suggested. You sleep, baby sleeps and you feel better! It's very early days and it does get better quickly I promise!

Noone really quite remembers how hard the newborn stage is several years down the line. otherwise we'd all have just the one

When you say sleep downstairs with your baby, do you mean on a sofa? You'd be safer cosleeping properly in your bed (kick your DP out if no room), making sure all covers are tucked at waist level, no pillows etc. if you're on a sofa or chair that is much more dangerous from a SIDS point of view. Master the art of lying down feeding and nights will be easy.

You're only ten days in so very early days. The first 6 weeks are the hardest so do everything to make your life easier. The only routine I'd have is get up at the same time every morning, hand baby to DP while you shower and eat, and try and put her down swaddled in the evening while you eat dinner, even if it's 20 mins. If she doesn't settle in the evening (it will happen as she gets older and more alert), eat your dinner and feed feed feed if that is what she wants or try a short bedtime routine (feed, swaddled, soothe to sleep with cuddles) but don't sweat if she doesn't settle. I did this with dd (my second), and she got her nights and days sorted a lot quicker than ds, my first.

In the days, make the most of your baby being tiny and sit down as much as you can. Don't feel pressured into doing house work etc. get a decent sling for when baby doesn't want to nap in the day (it will happen) so you can get stuff done (like eating) while baby sleeps.

Take it a day at a time. Feeding will get easier, you will sleep properly again one day

Great advice from all esp iggly. The best help you can get at this stage is some RL support, call the BFN helpline and see where your nearest group is, or maybe a local peer supporter would even visit you. They are brilliant, and a group can be a lifeline! Plus you get cakes!!

here

Thanks ladies, not had the greatest night, thought id cracked it when she went down at two but only thing that has happened is she woke at five for a feed instead of her usual six lol- think this is because i was giving her ebm in a bottle and didnt last night because she seemed happy on the breast so she didnt have the gut buster I normally give her

Im sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor, our couch is tiny, I get up to feed her as im not comfortable with co sleeping and she absolutely wont settle upstairs, dbf gets up at six and feeds her expressed milk so I can sleep but perhaps not today! Oh and I go to bed at 8pm for two hours to perk up for the night feeds seems to save my sanity

Ive been going to a brilliant breast feeding support group its on today at 10-12, not sure ill make it today sleeps feeling a bit more important but Ill see how I am in a couple of hours

nice to know its all normal though thats the main thing I needed from this :)

oh the daughter sleeps in her pram knew id forgotten something!

I hope things get easier for you soon. I gave up breastfeeding at four months because of all of the complications and I wish I had stuck with it. Congratulations on your new arrival!

You won't want to hear this but you should beware of bottles as well as dummies early on because these can also mean your baby doesn't latch as well as they don't have to open as wide. Worth speaking to the supporters at BF group about.

Also have a think about changing your sleeping arrangements. Greeting up and down and settling baby is tiring. It'll be more so if youre having to climb in and out of a sleeping bag. I used to do night feeds in a different room but once i moved back into our room it seemed better. Less isolating even though dh wasnt there. Think about setting up the pram next to your bed or have you tried a Moses basket?

Hotpot would it help to think of ways to make life simpler and more comfortable? A 10day postnatal mother should absolutely not be sleeping on the floor. Take pram or pram top upstairs so you can sleep in a bed.

Also expressing this early on is a hassle unless you really have to. Life might be easier if you dont bother.

Tiny new babies should not have 'gut buster' bottles of anything really. Its not healthy and does not help your bf supply become matched to her needs.

Hope you get good real life support to help you gain more confidence in the whole thing.

Just follow your baby's cues as much as possible. Cluster feeding is so, so hard, my DD used to do it for 5-6hrs in the evenings, going from breast to breast, back and forth, on and on for the first few weeks. I used to pray it's stop until one night it did and she then woke more frequently during the night! Thankfully that only lasted a couple of nights and she was back to cluster feeding and 4hr stretches of sleep. It really does get easier as she gets older. Oh and you really must stop sleeping on the floor. Try getting your DP to settle her upstairs with you out the room. My DD wouldn't settle for me at that age probably because I smelt of milk and it confused her. I could be rocking her for hours, DH would take her out of the room and she was asleep in 5 mins, I shit ye not! I think we used to often have to pick her up about 4 times before she'd settle properly - and then she'd only sleep for about 3-4hrs max at that age, if that.

The bottles have been on the advice of the breast feeding nurse consultant, shes gone from 6-7 a day to maybe 2 so Im not overly concerned about that, the moses basket she loves during the day but hates at night, and Ive had to think of BF in all of this he works such long hours seemed easier for me to leave the room but we are going to use the weekend to try and settle her back in our room, BF is also thinking that he will move down stairs if needs be - fingers crossed for us - shes now not only cluster fed for three hours last night but also for four this morning its hideous and im shattered its a good job shes beautiful

It is hard going in the early days but it does get better! If you don't feel comfortable co sleeping I would just put pram or cot or whatever you are using as close to your bed as possible. DBF can sleep on the sofa, you sleep in the bed, and just have to reach over when she wakes. I cosleep with dd for part of the night this way, she starts off in the cot then when I can't deal with getting up any more she sleeps on a big empty part of the double bed next to me (cot rails act as a barrier, I appreciate this wouldn't work with your pram)