DD 22mo won't stop bf and is off her food... any thoughts/experience?

[NumptyMum]

I'm not really planning to do extended bf, it's just happened this way because DD does like her milk. I don't mind feeding once in the morning and before bed at night, as that's what I did with my DS until he was just over 2yo, but at the moment her eating is rubbish (annoying, as I remember DH and I commenting just how much better she was at eating than DS when she was a baby) and she's pestering me for feeds in the daytime. She's just picked at her bread and butter this evening and not touched her noodles. Other than that she had a couple of spoons of baked beans at lunch, a piece of toast and butter this morning, and grapes and a fromage frais for breakfast. I think she DOES have 2 incisors coming in, but they're already protruding through the gums.

So does this sound like something I should be concerned about, or is it her just asserting her preference about food (eg yogurt isn't usually turned down, but how much should I persist with offering her main course?).

Thanks!

The guidelines for bfing are to 2y on demand funnily enough. So your DD is following WHO guidance all by herself!

If it's a very recent thing could it be she is coming down with something and is bfing more to get lots of fluids/fats/proteins in an easy and comforting way?

But it doesn't sound like she is starving herself - just eating toddler sized amounts of food. If you are worried she isn't eating enough try keeping a food diary over a week or two, not just a day, as you often find that one day they just pick and a few days later you feel like you have opened an 'all you can eat buffet'

Thanks for the reassurance. I'm concerned about the limited foods she's eating, as well as her resorting to bf. She used to eat a wide variety of foods, including meat, but now she'll spit the meat out of anything and really picks at her food, partly holding out for her 'afters' I think... So I'm not sure whether I should hold out on NOT giving her afters and insist she try a mouthful of her main course, or give her something that's vaguely healthy eg yogurt so that she has some food inside her. I just don't feel she's getting a balance of food ie carbohydrate, protein, veg. Meantime, DH feels that my continuing to bf her is part of the problem of her refusing to eat other foods. It does make mealtimes very tiring...

She's not resorting to bfing - it's the physiological norm for her to be consuming it at just 22m! WHO guidelines for developed countries (and they have different guidelines for developing countries too so it's not a blanket rec. for Ghana and France and the Sudan and the USA for ex.) are as follows:-

6-8m need 130 kcals of complementary foods and 485 kcals from milk (approx 650ml of bm at 75kcals per 100ml) total 615 kcals a day

9-11m need 310 kcals of complementary foods and 376 kcals from milk (approx 500ml of bm at 75kcals per 100ml) total 686 kcals a day.

12-23m need 580 kcals of complementary foods and 314 kcals from milk (approx 420ml of bm at 75kcals per 100ml) total 894 kcals a day.

Full details here on page 18.

Obviously they don't expect mothers to go from providing 35% of their babies calorific/nutritional needs to 0% the day they have their 2nd birthday but I guess they can't make blanket rec. when certain cultures have prohibitions/practices that forbid bfing past 2y.

Also, if you stopped/limited bfing you may find her safety net is gone with little or no commensurate increase in food intake in comparison to the decrease in calories/nutrition from bfing. I have heard of mothers being advised to wean from bfing due to limited food intake only to find that the limited food intake continues and their child is now at risk of weight loss/vit deficiencies due to the loss of bfing which was providing a substantial part of their diet.

You may find having little snacks frequently works better than large meals 3 times a day. This way you could give few cubes of cheese for one snack, apple slices for another, carrot sticks for another, ham or chicken for yet another, a couple of crackers/rice cakes spread with peanut butter/soft cheese/meat paste/etc, and see if that helps.

You could still offer main meals but then you wouldn't be stressed if she didn't eat it - perhaps letting her have some of yours or DH's meal by either eating off your plate sitting on your lap, or by having a bit from the plate onto her plate.

Thanks again for the input - I'll point DH this way so he can read the info as it's reassuring to know that the WHO recommendations are for DEVELOPED countries specifically as well as other guidance for developing countries. I'll keep up the bf for the time being then!

Ds is 21 months and the same re little eating, lots bfing. We had exactly the same with 2 bottom canines coming and I was thinking but they are through! I think the top ones may be on the way now.

Anyway on the excellent advice of my hv and pressure from everyone I tried limiting his bf and it made him miserable and he refused meals. And he lost a tiny bit of weight. I wouldn't recommend it.

Thanks Stranger (never thought I'd say that! )