Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

Original poster

Horrible bf in public!

22 replies

pommedechocolat · 20/04/2012 14:04

Am really struggling with feeding in public with my nearly 8 week old.

Generally really good feeder at home bar odd windy/fussy moments. However at the moment all feeds out and about are AWFUL. Screaming, latching on and off constantly etc. I think it's because at home I feed slightly leant back on the sofa or pillows whilst out and about it's normally wooden cafe chairs.

Any tips from anyone? Don't want to start doing ff or expressed milk for these feeds as that ruined bf with dd1...

OP posts:

Latsia · 20/04/2012 14:21

Have you tried standing up and moving around a bit while feeding? My DC2 was fine at home sitting down, but when out and about I used to have to jig a bit until feeding was in full flow (so to speak) and then I could sit down.

With DC2 I used a cheap breastfeeding cover or big muslin draped over my shoulder. I know the MN collective is generally not in favour of them but DC2 was so restless and I spent a lot of time chasing after DC1 while holding and feeding DC2. It just meant the bobbing etc could be done without fear of exposure so might help you relax about it a bit more.

zipzap · 20/04/2012 14:41

Try sitting on cafe-type chairs for a feed at home - maybe start normally and move over to it half way through, then when comfortable with that, start when you are sitting down on a cafe type chair. At least that way your dc will be used to that aspect of it.

The unfamiliarity of the surroundings might also be distracting - latsia's suggestion of a muslin might also help as it would screen out the surroundings from the baby...

5madthings · 20/04/2012 14:43

muslin cloth or a a sling to feed in, i found ring slings best, but i do sympathise i had babies that were a nightmare to feed in public at times, had to do it standing up and jigging about!

Original poster

pommedechocolat · 20/04/2012 14:50

Have just ordered some large muslins to try them. Have tried normal sizes and my scarf but no good so hopefully that might help.

I do feed her at breakfast on a normal chair zipzap but perhaps I angle myself differently as have more space than in a cafe. Maybe need to choose tables better!

Am I a wuss to admit I'd be embarrassed standing up feeding in a cafe?

OP posts:

Original poster

pommedechocolat · 20/04/2012 14:50

Sorry, forgot to say thanks for all the suggestions

OP posts:

Svrider · 20/04/2012 14:51

At 8 weeks old it's still early days
Practice different positions at home
Do feel comfortable and confident whilst bf -ing in public?
May be try a nice quiet area until your confidence grows
In a couple of months you'll be able to flop one out any time, any place, anywhere
Good luck with it

Latsia · 20/04/2012 14:54

Nope not a wuss. That's why a cover would help. You're not constantly fiddling around to prevent exposure and all anyone can see are cute little (likely kicking) feet.

worldgonecrazy · 20/04/2012 14:54

Are you feeling a little tense and nervous yourself and perhaps baby is picking up on your emotions? Try practicing at home in an uncomfy chair, or feeding standing up. Also practice in front of a mirror so you can see what othe people can see.

Until I was confident I would take a bottle of expressed milk with me - once we got to 12 weeks I was more confident and feeding in public became a doddle, I've even done it whilst walking around supermarkets and no one noticed.

OneLittleBabyTerror · 20/04/2012 14:55

If your LO is difficult, a bf cover might help?

OneLittleBabyTerror · 20/04/2012 14:56

I have a bebe au lait for wearing wrap dresses. It's pretty good. It has a wired neck so you can peep into your baby to help with latch.

Original poster

pommedechocolat · 20/04/2012 15:00

Yes I probably am feeling all worried about it nowadays after a few grim experiences. Might be better trying to do it with friend/mum for a bit rather than just on my own.

Will have a look at that cover too one.

Thanks again!

OP posts:

notcitrus · 20/04/2012 15:05

Seek out cafes with sofas and recline. If necessary I find sitting on the floor leaning against a wall or a tree is easier than an uncomfy chair and more private too - dd is 10 weeks and fussy about comfort!

So have fed lots in changing rooms and parks but cafes outside lunchtime suit me too, eg right now!

JollyBear · 20/04/2012 15:15

You'll soon suss out places with the best chairs etc. I used to like feeding in the library as they have sofas and cushions!

8 weeks is still early days. You WILL become more confident.

fhdl34 · 20/04/2012 15:20

I know what you mean, I often see other BFing mothers feeding their babies and looking so graceful and serene. Then there's me and DD, her arms and legs flailing all over the place, latch on, latch off, latch on, latch off lol. I doubt I've ever fed the same way twice. If it's a bench and there's room, I'll sort of lean into the corner of it so I'm slightly laid back. I also kind of have her lying diagonal down my body sometimes. I also found it's changed as she's got bigger. I wear a tracky/hoody top and lift my top up to feed DD, I never bother with a scarf/cover/muslin as I feel it draws attention to what you're doing or rather, I notice it more (but it makes me happy seeing someone else BFing). Also, I have huge norks and I'd struggle to cover them up if I had to pull my top down to feed her.
Sorry I don't have any useful advice but you're not alone, I aspire to be a graceful BFing mother but fear it will never happen.
Although, I was pleasantly surprised the other day whilst at a group I went to feed DD on a sofa and a homestart volunteer who attends with one of the other mums asked if I was trying to get her to sleep, she didn't realise I was breastfeeding so perhaps at that feed I looked quite serene and she really couldn't tell. She actually apologised but I told her there was no need to.

RedMolly · 20/04/2012 17:06

I agree with worldgonecrazy that your baby may be picking up on your anxiety if you are feeling a bit self-conscious about bfing in public. A small thing that helps if you are sat in one of those little wooden chairs is trying to get your feet raised up a bit - if there's a bar on the table, another chair, your shopping, whatever. The other thing you could do if the weather is nice and there is somewhere vaguely green near you is to take a little blanket with your baby stuff and feed lying down - very comfortable and also discreet - you just look like you're cuddling your baby. I get them out all over the place and I don't think anyone has ever noticed.

worldgonecrazy · 21/04/2012 08:08

I'd struggle to cover them up if I had to pull my top down to feed her.

It's usually more dicrete to pull your top up, any bare flesh is hidden by baby. Just a tip for anyone reading.

Dottymcdot · 21/04/2012 08:18

Vest underneath pull up top, vest underneath means less exposure. It will get better.

muttimalzwei · 21/04/2012 09:08

Although I don't agree with hiding away, I did do a bit of going into John Lewis and Debenhams changing/feeding rooms for long feeds until I was more confident. I even pulled the curtains! Later on the feeding got more straightforward and it was anywhere and everywhere. Good luck with it. And really recommend lycra vest (M&S) pulled down, floaty top pulled up.

notjustamummythankyou · 21/04/2012 10:51

I don't agree with hiding away either, but I do find the mamascarf useful when out and about, as dd seems to thrash around less and concentrates on the job!

The sling also takes some of the weight of baby, which is helpful if sitting without cushions, or on a chair without arms.

Sorry, would link to the mamascarf, but can't work out how to do it on my phone!

TeacupTempest · 21/04/2012 10:57

I am finding it easier to pull my top down to feed. Hoiking my top up, with a squirming baby is tricky and as she is quite small she doesn't seemto provide much cover!

People keep recommending the pulling up option. I am starting to get paranoid that I am not doing the "done thing".

Latsia · 21/04/2012 14:08

Forget about "the done thing" Teacup and do whatever works for you. There's an awful lot of judging and competitive shoulder shrugging that goes on however you choose to feed and it is ALL totally unnecessary and faintly ridiculous. Top up, top down, vest and top, vest and cardi, muslin, feeding cover, patterned, plain, bottle, boob - take the advice that you need, do whatever works best for your family in your circumstances.

No-one is giving you marks out of ten, regardless of what some may like you to think!!!

RockChick1984 · 22/04/2012 12:58

teacup I always pulled my top down to feed so belly was hidden but was definitely easiest way for me!

Most shopping centres now have bf facilities, I know my local mall has changing facilities in individual rooms, which also have a comfy chair to bf in, and debenhams have a feeding and changing room (although it's not completely private as a few mums can use it at once, it's still more private than a cafe).

I never minded feeding in public, but if you are struggling to do it, these options may be worth investigating.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread