How do I get from scenario A to scenario B? (breastfeeding/sleep)

[kickingking]

Not sure if this is a breastfeeding or sleep post - please move it if it's in the wrong place. Basically I have a 3 week old who is exclusively breastfed.

Scenario A is what happens at the moment, Scenario B is what I want to happen.

Scenario A: DS2 asleep in pram in living room, wakes up or is woken around 10pm for a feed. Then put to bed in Moses basket in our bedroom. I then try to go to bed myself. DS2 fusses and won't settle (despite sleeping soundly in his pram downstairs all day), makes groaning and strange bleating noises until I feed him again. Repeat until about midnight. Eventually falls asleep in Moses basket and I get to sleep as well.

Wakes at 2/3am for a feed, I take him downstairs so as not to disturb DH and DS1. Feed him on sofa, usually fall asleep and wake up in a panic that I've endangered DS2 by falling asleep with him on my lap on a widgey cushion. DS2 is asleep so try to put him back in Moses basket upstairs, whereupon he starts groaning and fussing again. Have argument with DH about whether or not DS2 is hungry again, which usually results in DH suggesting we bottle feed him .

Eventually feed DS2 again, put him in Moses basket, groans and fusses for ages so DH and I cannot sleep. Eventually falls asleep and I get an hours sleep in my bed until I have to get up with DS1.

Scenario B: DS2 fed about 10pm, he gets put to bed in Moses basket and goes straight to sleep. I go to bed. Wakes up for next feed, I feed him downstairs WITHOUT FALLING ASLEEP, then go back upstairs and put DS2 in Moses basket and we both go to sleep. Repeat as required.

So, how do I get from A to B? B is more or less what happened with DS1. I want to sleep in my bed! I'm scared by the falling asleep on the sofa with a baby. Co-sleeping is not an option for us, DH is a deep sleeper and throws his arms and legs around a bit while asleep . The biggest mystery to me is why DS2 will sleep contentedly in his pram all day, but seems to dislike his Moses basket.

Another option for feeding lying down is to use a v shaped pillow, prop it up slightly against the bed head and lie on it on one side on the v, baby nestles in crook of your arm on the other side if that makes any sense!

You can get full length bedgards, our solution was to use a cot without the dropside on pushed up against the side of the bed.

We to only have a small 2bed house and DD has the other room so no where for me to go to do night feeds.

But I'd also like to suggest that maybe he's cluster feeding at 10-12pm and if you could get him to do this in the evening then he may sleep better at night.

I started a thread about feeding lying down with small/pert boobs, got some good advice- thread is here.

I feed DD2 lying down and am only a 34C It's definitely worth persevering with mastering feeding lying down. Your DH can put up with a bit of disturbance while you master it - point out to him that if you gave the baby a bottle he would be even more disturbed as you would be sending him downstairs to prep it.

When she was little I used to try and sit up in bed and feed and would always fall asleep and there was no way in hell I was getting out of my nice warm bed! DH got to sleep through without having to prep bottles like he did with DD1 so he could put up with a little bit of disturbance - he got used to it.

She wouldn't sleep in her moses basket at all for the first few weeks but would happily sleep in my arms so if we were going to get any sleep at all we needed to do something. I put her in a sleeping bag and she stays on top of the duvet. When we first started I would latch her on sitting up and then shuffle down and roll over onto my side with my back to DH. We soon got good at latching on lying down. I keep my arm underneath her head so she effectively sleeps in the crook of my arm.

I have never bothered with a bed guard, but DD isn't much of a fidget and our bed is quite big and because she sleeps with my arm underneath her, if she does roll the wrong way, it tends to wake me up.

I always fall asleep feeding her - I will sometimes wake up and put her back in her cot and sometimes I just cuddle her all night - depends on how fidgety she is. When she wants her next feed (she tends to feed 2-3 times a night) if she is already in bed with me, its easy enough to just latch her on and go back to sleep.

DH sleeps through most of the time now and often has to ask how many times she woke up.

I also fed lying down with small boobs, was only 34C too when I was at my biggest.

Might be worth trying to settle him in Moses basket at bedtime rather than after dream feed? You have my sympathies, DD would grunt and fuss and fidget after every night feed too...

Can you try some low level white noise or talk radio on at night - the quiet may be the reason why baby isnt settling as well - there's more background chatter in the day. Also Moses basket mattresses are usually thin and rustly!

Although I gave up with the Moses basket with dd as I knew it was futile after having ds. So we cosleep and now and 4.5 months I'm working on her getting back into the cot.

You said you can fit a single mattress in the playroom. Can your ds1 move in there or your DH? Then you use the nursery?

Could it be laying down onto a cold unslept-on mattress that wakes him as the temperature changes? You could try holding a muslin/sheet/hanky under his head while you feed him then transfer the whole thing into the basket so the smell/temperature stays the same?

I have to say, the only way I managed to get sleep was to feed lying down, with baby, the moses basket was pushed right beside my bed, and I used cushions to fill in the gap to make a sort of bed guard. DH moving around had no effect as I was in the way.