10 day old struggling to latch and feed. Advice please

[Francois]

Ds2 is 10 days old. Since birth he has struggled to latch on and stay attached usually on for a minute or so then comes off. He lost >10% of birth weight so we give him a few ebm top ups and saw bf counsellor and seemed to be getting better and he put on 25% of the weight he lost overnight. Since then though I can't get him latched so he stays there. I have a strong letdown so he gulps and splutters and pulls off and that either carries on for about an hour of on/off or he just falls asleep at the breast after a few sucks. Have given him two bottles of ebm since Friday both of which he finished really quickly which indicates he is actually hungry but when I try to feed him it's a disaster. I bf DS1 til he was nearly a year but we struggled throughout and it made me quite unhappy so I said I wouldn't do the same this time but I feel I can't give in
also, ds2 appears to be constipated, no poo for 48 hours. Tried cycling legs and rubbing feet but to no avail. Any hints? He is also still slightly jaundiced so not sure of this is complicating things. Currently trying to feed every 3-4 hrs but today has been a struggle.

Sorry that's just a huge ramble. An a bit at my wits end and desperately don't want to give him another bottle tonight in case it sets us back further. Any advice or even a kick up the backside welcome

Thanks

Hi Francois, sorry to hear things aren't going as well as you'd hoped.

Just an idea but have you had him checked for tongue tie? Both my DD's had it and neither latched on until it was sorted (luckily Day 3 with both).

Hi

He was checked for tongue tie last week and nothing. I have been able to get him properly latched and feeding for about 20 mins but only a handful of times so I think he can do it I just don't now how to replicate it. I'm struggling to think of reasons not to give up, I'm sore, my nipples are killing me, I'm constantly in tears and my 2 yo is getting neglected. Sorry that's terribly self indulgent I know I'm just a mess today

You poor thing, that sounds horrendous. Sounds like he can do it, hopefully it's just teaching him.

I would try with the bf counsellor again - they are there to help and fantastic. Not sure what else to suggest - nipple shields?

Sorry to hear you are going through this. You're not self indulgent - breastfeeding a newborn is hard even when its going well, let alone when its not.

Hi!
I'm by no means an expert, my son is 10 weeks old, but he had jaundice to start with so I can relay the advice we were given.
1st - jaundice makes them sleepy, which means they struggle to feed. To stop him falling asleep we were told to strip DS to his nappy and/or feed him in a cooler room. Also to blow sharply in his face if he stopped sucking before he'd drained the breast to wake him up or get him moving again. Tickling his feet also worked. Sometimes my husband did this for me.

1. Because the jaundice makes them sleepy they won't wake up reliably for feeds and need to feed frequently to flush out the jaundice. We were advised to wake him every 2 hours during the day and 3 at night. Once the jaundice has cleared and he's gained weight we were told we could leave it 4-5 hours but no more than 6 at that stage.

1. I also had quite a strong letdown but it didn't seem to put DS off despite the spluttering but was told that if it caused problems to latch DC on until letdown then take him off and let milk squirt into a tissue/muslin/cup. When the flow slows to a drip put baby back on. Feeding more frequently might also help reduce the fierce squirting. You can also do the same by hand expressing to start with. There are instructions for this on the NHS website I think, there's definitely a leaflet about it & also in the bounty booklet in the pack they give out on the labour ward.

1. To encourage your baby to drain the breast, walk your fingers over your breast along the line, roughly where the top of your bra cup would be to help the more concentrated milk down. If you don't have spare hand, ask your partner to do it.

My son was also very on and off. I don't really have a solution for this other than perseverance. We got round it by offering the breast frequently and he just got more proficient as the weeks went by until he's suddenly seemed to get it around 8-9 weeks. He's still very slurpy though but must be getting what he needs as his weight gain is steady.

As I say, I'm just passing on advice but I really hope it helps. It sounds like you're doing really well. It might be worth asking your HV if there are any BF support groups near you as it's good to talk to people who can relate to your experience and offer practical as well as moral support.

Well done for keeping going though. It's often says but every day does count so you've already given your son an amazing start. Really hope things start to improve soon.

Thank you both. Have the bf counsellor round tomorrow morning to help. Have expressed a feed so I might try feeding him ebm for tonight so I know he's t least getting some. Hopefully filling him up helps the jaundice and sleepiness. Same thing happened last time with Ds1 I was just hoping to avoid that this time, maybe not

Sorry you're finding things tough Francois.

It's good that you are seeing the bfc, hopefully they can give you some more suggestions to get things going.

If your baby is jaundiced, feeding every 3-4 hours is likely to be too infrequent, can you increase to two hourly for a bit? The lack of poo in a baby this age could also indicate that he is not getting enough.

Have you had a look at biological nurturing? - it may help you get him latched on. I also agree with the poster's suggestions to hand express some milk off first if you think the flow is too fast for him. The reclining position will also slow down the flow a bit too.

I know you said that he had been checked for tongue tie, but it can be tricky to spot, so it might be worth asking again and see if someone can have a really decent poke around.

This is a good article on tongue tie from Milkmatters.

Hi Francois, how did you get on this morning?

Second crikeybadger, tongue tie can be hard to spot - 4 midwives and a breastfeeding counsellor missed my DS's. I think it's worth getting a specialist to look at it again - ask them to also check for a posterior tie and if they look at you with bafflement, presume they are not skilled enough and seek out a lactation consultant would be my advice.