21 mo dd is feeding almost constantly and when i refuse she has tota melt down

[mamaLou13]

It is becoming very exhausting! i do love feeding her and do not want to stop yet (though i don't know how i will when the time comes) But more to the point - she feeds loads through the night and co- sleeps so it's hard not to give her milk. shes got her own room / bed but just wakes just as often and cries so it is easier to put her in with us! I just wish she would have a cuddle sometimes or not be consstantly pulling at my top for milk. Even as i type i have been feeding her and she is now having a tantrum because i have said no. I feel so mean when i say no. when we are in company it is embarassing because she always tries to expose my other breast and then comes and goes to the breast all the time. help would be great thank you. I find MN more helpful tha the HV who is next to useless.

Glad that you are finding MN useful, it's a shame that your HV isn't more supportive too.

Are the nights really bothering you? Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution?

As for the days I think she needs to learn some bfing manners .

yes i have read no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantly if that is the one you mean? I am not am not fiding much useful to be honest. Some nights i don't mind too much but others i get stressed when my back and arms are hurting from sleeping in stupid positions. I feel guilty by being annoyed about it though because i love feeding her and it is not going to last forever. I just wish it was not so often and so intense. Thanks for the link i will look at the bf manners now.

Shame that you're not finding the NCSS much good. The thing we found helpful was that once they moved to their own room we fed in there and they only came into our bed if they were poorly.

Have you thought about night weaning too?

Could have written your post, am in same situation (on phone, feeding!) dd is almost 23 mo. I feel like I feed her more now than when newborn. is there some kind of spurt around this time? also co sleep, she has no intention of ever sleeping alone so no rest from it.

Am watching with interest!

DS is similar at 19 months. We're starting to manage not to feed at night but he does often end up in with us for the second part of the night. During the day, he's mad for 'booboo' and goes bananas if I refuse/can't. Not sure what to do either so watching with interest!

At 21 months, breastfeeding should be a nutritional top-up to solid foods and other fluids. It's brilliant that your DD is still getting breastmilk, but like you said, she's not a newborn any more and it's not her primary source of food, so you need to start to lay down some boundaries (the link that JiltedJohns provided is a good one).

Ultimately, feeding on demand is the behaviour of a very young baby, not a toddler, and you have a right to lay down some rules with her that find the balance between still giving her the milk and comfort that she needs whilst not allowing it to rule every moment of the day and night.

You need to be more firm about the night time feeding - yes, it may be easier each night to bring her in with you, but you need to make her room the designated feeding place (that is, if you choose not to night wean which IMO would probably be a good idea - sleeping through will be good for her as well as you). It'll be absolute hell for a few nights, but if you're consistent then she will learn new behaviour based on this.Good luck!

Strong powers of distraction! My DS is 20 months. Have got him down to night times by saying it's just for bed. Some times he tricks me into thinking he wants to go to bed when he clearly doesn't.
Although saying that I do abandon the rule when he's had tummy bugs as it was something he would keep down and teething the rules go out the window.

"Just for bed - now let's read a book. Eat toast etc..."

I'll get back to you about co sleeping and feeding. DP's mate has just moved out of spare room so DS will get his own room, bit nervous we've left it too late..

At 21 months, breastfeeding should be a nutritional top-up to solid foods and other fluids. Know what you mean NoWay but would have loved to see you get that message over to my DD when she was that age .

Jilted I know what you mean, I spent most of my day trying to win the battles to get a variety of messages to my own DS at that age