Tips on weaning at 3ish please

[Zoidberg]

DD is going to be 3 next Wednesday and some months ago I decided I would stop breastfeeding her then. I cannot bear breastfeeding any more. DD still nurses 10 times a day and a couple of times a night.

We have discussed her dropping feeds and a while ago tried dropping a morning one for a few weeks with a plan to reducing them. That lasted only til she was next ill. Now we have been talking about it every day for a few weeks, that soon there won't be any more milk and she will stop. I ask her, what would you do in this situation when you're not having mummy milk? And she has chosen flavoured soya milk or almond milk as special drinks and has suggested extra tight cuddles, which we call squeezit-reezits, at other times. So far, so great. At no time has she seemed sad at the idea of stopping.

But I have my suspicions that when it comes to it, she won't take it as well as she is the idea So, if you weaned your DC around this age, how did it go? What did you do instead, at times when you would have bf'ed? e.g. bed time, falling over/being upset, every time mummy sits down some days? Thanks for any advice or tips.

Sorry but i have no advice but willbe watching this thread as i am in a similar situation. I was hoping dd would self wean but it does not seem like that will be an option. I just hate seeing her so upset and begging for milk not understanding why she can't have the thing that comforts her most! She is still only two though and co-sleeps, so she feeds alot through the night. My dd is a milky monster as we call her. She can't get enough of fit and i feel that the longer we leave it the harder it will be to get her off.

Hi, my DS2 is a bit younger (just coming up to 3 now) but I found that I just explained to him and was pretty proactive. So with night feeds I said 'We don't feed til daytime anymore now you're bigger, you can have a cuddle if you like' - one night of profound grumping, one night mild grumping, then occasionally requests for water.

All other day feeds, about 2.5 years I guess I said 'I don't want to do any more feeding during the day because I am feeling tired and I want more energy to go out to the park' - this went down ok, he just said 'can I have cows milk instead?' and never asked again!

I am still doing first feed of the day but think I will ditch it soon enough, am just going to tell him it is time to stop I think.

I never expected to wean that way, had read a whole load of stuff about don't offer don't refuse and replacement activities etc, but in the end I just got a bit sick of being so worried about it - I mean, he'd had 2 years+ of feeding on demand, he had a pretty good deal!

I was so relieved it went this way, I think my advice would be just do it, be clear and cheerful and give it a go.

Thanks, yes I do think you're right about being clear and cheerful - am gearing myself up for the energy required for lots of cheer
And thinking of extra activities we can do / new places to go, for a couple of weeks.

It's a week til her birthday, if there aren't anymore replies I'll come back then and let you know how it goes.

So, we had a tiring and emotional day on DD's birthday, with a last feed in bed in the morning, before which she said "and then I'll be 3" (the start of many tearful moments from me).

That night, she was knackered so went to sleep at bed time on my lap within 10 mins, but spent that time pleading for milk and both of us crying (me silently in the dark). In the night, she spent an hour on-off asking/crying/"please please tiny bit of mummy milk" with me saying calmly, no darling, there's no milk. Woke 3 times, early morning also same pleading.

During that 2nd day I was crying on and off all day myself, DD was accepting there was no milk and not asking much, but by the end of the day I was feeling it was too drastic a change for both of us so I went to plan B, which I had thought all along: do one feed at bed time. I explained to DD in the late afternoon, and we did it last thing at bedtime, and she relaxed so much in my arms, and I felt much better about the whole process.

That night she was angry more than upset, woke up a couple of times and hit me when I told her there wasn't any milk, but went back to sleep with cuddles within 20-30 mins.

Next day she was again accepting during the day generally, asked after waking from a nap and being a bit groggy, we immediately watched a new cartoon (Bod!) on my laptop. 3rd night, had to sing a couple of songs to help her back to sleep but quite short wakings.

She has also been having lots of special drinks in the day, flavoured soya milk, chocolate coconut milk, small cartons of smoothie, frube type things, all sucked down which prob also part of it. And she is more cuddly and kissing me lots more.

Now, a week on, I'm happy with the decision to have stopped almost all the breastfeeding and the decision to continue at bedtime and DD slept through for only the 3rd time in her life last night (well, 8.15 to 5.30 and all in my bed, but still). I have been consistently calm with the no milk message, but have been making more effort to be silly and show empathy at times when she's more emotional e.g. getting ready to go to nursery, afternoons when tired because she's not napped lots of people around.

I have just come to search for toddler weaning tips so this is very useful, thank you. Hope that it's all going well for you both :)

Thanks for sharing Zoidberg - I hoped a while back that DD would decide it was no more BF for her but she has gone 3 yrs and think I just have to grasp the nettle as you have. Can't find anyone who supports me just surrounded by people asking me when I am stopping and has been that way for a long time : (