worried about over feeding

[MiauMau]

From the start I've had problems bf, my breasts didn't develop, flat nipples and DS had a tongue tie. All of this together made him lose too much weight (we were sent to the hospital for a feeding programme) and frazzled my confidence and brain. Since then he has had his tongue tie cut and has been fed using a combination feed of expressed milk, formula and bf (he is going to be 7 weeks tomorrow) and I have been given domperidone to force the milk production and nipple shield.
Last week we went to the baby clinic for a weigh in (he is at a 25th percentile, 4,200kg) and when I told the HV about how I feed him she said that at this point in time it would be better to choose either to bf or ff as this whole situation is really affecting me psychologically. She suggested that I should stop expressing and the domperidone (which was finishing anyway and was giving me headaches) and that I should start replacing breast feeds with the bottle starting with the 2am one.
Last night I tried that and DS reacted really badly, he wouldn't stop crying and wanting to eat more. Reluctantly I ended up giving him and extra 30ml after the 90ml that I had given him before and put him on my breast to calm him down. This morning during his normal feed (20 minutes each breast and 60ml formula which he never finishes) he kept on fussing and crying and at the feed that I just gave him he did the same.
I'm worried that I'm over feeding him. Could he be using the bottle or the breast to console himself from some pain?
Please help me, i'm really confused and worried.

I don't really see that it's the HV place to tell you to replace the breast feeds with the bottle.

There's nothing wrong with him using the breast as a comforter- it's more than just a hunger satisfier.

You say this situation is affecting you psychologically- do you want to stop breast feeding now, carry on as you are with mix feeding or try and move over to ebf? Sorry, I can't quite tell from your post what you want to do or how you are feeling.

The HV was worried, let's just say that I broke down when she started asking about DS's feeding. Still can't shake that image of DS looking really fragile and skinny.
I don't want to carry on as it is right now. It's better now that it's just the breast and the formula top up but, it isn't a solution. As it stands bf isn't practical, I feel uncomfortable to the point that I would never be able to do it outside as I'm using a nipple shield and due to not having much upper arm strength I'm pretty much unable to feed him without a breastfeeding pillow.
As much as it saddens me, I think that ff might be the best option. but as things are right now I feel like I'm bonding more when I'm winding DS or when he's sleeping on my chest than when he's bfing.

Miau, I have mix fed my twins since they were born, now 5 months old. It is totally exhausting doing top ups after every bf and I know exactly what you mean about being affected, I just felt so frustrated at not being able to fully bf and felt I'd been let down by bad advice from midwife and hv.

I decided a while ago to stop top ups and instead each feed is either a bf or a ff. I find my supply is best in the morning so I bf in the morning and ff in afternoon and evening. That way they still get some bm and I don't spend my entire life feeding! Could that work for you? If not, then don't feel guilty about moving to ff, you've done well to get this far and given your baby a great start in life!

OK, that makes things a bit clearer Miau.

I'm really not sure what to suggest, you could try something like ceeveebee has done, but obviously your milk supply has not got off to the best start with the tongue tie and weight loss, so it may not be able to sustain this.

Perhaps chatting things through with one of the breastfeeding helplines would be easier?

I really don't know about the overfeeding. Are you thinking that the formula may have been making DS uncomfortable and this is why he was crying so much?

How about ring one of the breastfeeding help lines and talking everthing through with a breastfeeding counciler, they will help you go through everthing, which may help you make a clearer dicision as to wearther you want to stop and where to go from there.

National Breastfeeding Helpline
0300 100 0212

NCT Breastfeeding Helpline
0300 330 0771

La Leche League Helpline
0845 120 2918

Association of Breastfeeding Mothers
08444 122 949

I mixed fed my DD (in different circumstances) and found that she didn't take the same amount from every bottle she had. Sometimes she wanted much more than the suggested for her age, and sometimes much less.

Definately seek further advice, but I would say it's possible how much formula your baby has will be all over the place as they are used to being suckling as much as they want on demand and ff is not quite the same. Adding a dummy might help? I would assume once they learn the difference it will settle down, but I couldn't tell you how long that would take.