FIDDLING, o my goodness, when will it stop?!

[Sparklyboots]

DS is 15mo and still BFs pretty much like a 7/8 mo, i.e. regularly throughout the day, and in the evening, feeds to sleep, feeds first thing in the morning. I am considering a whole other thread on that, but in the meantime he is fiddling like mad. And I am like, mad with it. It is especially frantic on his bed-time feed and his first thing in the morning feed, and quite frantic just before his nap. Does it end? My strategy is try to bear it, then clamp a hand over it for a while, which he then practically digs under to get to, so I bear it for a while more, sometimes I put my hand his while he does it to dampen down the enthusiasm of his movements. Other than that deeply unsatisfying struggle, I don't know what to do. He is too young for reasoning (isn't he?). No bra can keep his ferrety hands at bay. Anyone got any way of moving us past this?

Arrrgggghh it's so annoying isn't it.

It drives me mad too.

Sadly I don't have any tips to stop it, DS is 2.5 and still does it even though he is barely breastfeeding.

I've tried offering him a cuddly giraffe instead, but twisting my nipple is still preferable to him.

Will watch with interest for any one who comes along with some constructive tips.

i think the only way to stop it is to prevent him doing it full-stop

i couldn't bear any of mine fiddling, so i just used to hold their hand if they tried. if they continued i stopped the feed.

If anyone knows how to stop this could you tell me please? Ds2 is a fiddler an apart from being a pain it bloody hurts too! I don't recall ds1 doing this!

If your child was poking you in the eye because they felt like it would you just let them carry on? Surely zero tolerance is the only approach, hold the hand and if they fight it too much stop the feed.

My approach was the same as in your OP.

It didn't work and it didn't stop.

We weaned when DS turned two, in part because I couldn't bear the twiddling any longer.

He still bloody tries to do it, even though we're weaned! It's become a real comfort thing for him. When I say no, he even asks me in his little begging voice 'Twist the boo just a little bit, Mummy? Just a little bit?' (he's 2 years, 4 months now).

I know that if I have another child, it'll be zero tolerance from the start.

Thanks for the replies, which made me laugh, especially 'Twist the boo'. It's actually outrageous, isn't it? I can soooo remember someone with a baby older than mine complaining about the fiddling, saying her DD even did it when they were just out and about, and thinking, "how did you let that situation develop?" in a manner which I now realise was both smug and naive. But it just gradually evolved with us from cuddling to hand on other boob, to occasional shifting of said hand and here we are, full on frantic fiddling, three times a day. Truth be told, I am a bit anti zero tolerance type strategies, I'm sure they work but withholding food unless he's a good boy makes all my lentil weaving instincts wobble. DP has just suggested a fiddle blanket or something, and now I think about it, a rubber band seems like a good idea (I'm not tripping) because of its tactile response when you fiddle it. Maybe I will institute a fiddle substitute research project, not at all because I have been on maternity leave too long but in fact because there is a clear need. Thank you ladies.

DS still fiddles too, and he's 2.2, although my zero-tolerance of the other nipple twiddling means he has to bring things to fiddle with. DH watched in amazement this evening as I had a giant plastic duck under my chin, a clown fish in my cleavage, and a baby plastic duck stuck up my nose. This has happened for every feed today. Tomorrow could be different, or then again, it might not be! :)

Maybe try wearing a necklace that's got beads etc on it?

Teach him nursing manners, no reasion why you should have to put up with it. This worked for both of mine but you need to be consitant and took a couple of weeks with DS (I think he's in need of a little retraining at the moment he's 17months)

kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/nursing-manners-2/

Ds3 is a pincher and kneader, it drives me potty. Ds1 & 2 didn't really do it and I put that down to my superior mothering skills , I know realise that I had nothing to do with it and that ds3 is just more determined.

He kneads to improve the flow - which is annoying, but I can put up with it, unless I am full and then it hurts. The pinching irritates the crap out of me though, and it gets worse when he is tired. I have tried lots of different types of distraction but it hasn't worked. I may well try stopping the feed when he does it, but I think I am probably too soft for that. I think I forever live in hope that he will stop ............

Sparklyboots I think you may be onto something with the rubber bands. DS (20mo) was playing with a rubber tadpole (from one of those metamorphosis sets) and rolling the body around between his fingers. His chant of 'ta'pole, ta'pole' suddenly changed as he grinned, looked up at me and DFIL and shouted 'NIPPLE!'.

Hand holding sometimes works for the fiddling, but I am soft and let him do it, he's so upset if I stop him when he's in the mood and I figure it's not for ever. He is banned from fiddling when not feeding though, something he only just started to want to do.

DD is a hair puller rather than a nipple twiddler, and the only way I've stopped myself from ending up with a hairstyle like Matt Lucas is by feeding while wearing a hoodie. I've found Primark do a nice line in high neck hoodies with dangly toggles from the neck for a fiver. They are my chavvy stylish new feeding tops!

Yer, 'zero tolerance' sounds a bit harsh, doesn't it? What I meant is with a second child, I'd stop it before it develops. With DS, I just sort of put up with it, thinking it was a passing phase and it'd be something else the next week...

Hmm. Yesterday's plastic ducks and fluffy fish were definitely preferable to today's experiment: trying to roll up saggy breast tissue and stuff it down the hollow handle of a toy spade.......

When do they self-wean? Someone remind me!

my ds is 15 months too and exactly the same. I have a great big mole under each armpit and he likes to fiddle with those too, or the mole on my right boob - he much prefers my right boob as he can feed and fiddle at the same time.

Okay, I haven't got round to the elastic band trials yet (and may extend this activity to elastic tadpoles) but have found clamping my arm over the other boob, so my elbow is over the boob and the clamping arm's hand is more or less touching the other shoulder. However, it is slightly less like a loving embrace and more like a duck and cover against a small, slurpping person. I still intend to try the elastic band thing...