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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

if you don't co-sleep, will BF still be ok?

42 replies

fireflyz · 10/04/2012 22:30

A lot of BF friends seem to have had really erratic sleep patterns and a lot of them seem to end up co-sleeping.
Just wondering how common this is. I really don't fancy co-sleeping.
Would you still be able to BF and then put baby in a cot by the side of your bed? Is being in the same room enough for BF to work?

OP posts:

emsyj · 10/04/2012 22:34

I put DD to sleep in the pram carrycot (labelled as safe for overnight sleep - she preferred it probably because it was much bigger than her moses basket, which she hated!) I woke to feed her every 2 hours for the first 10 weeks which was a bit of a killer, then she started to go longer. I eventually coslept when she got to about 8 months because she was wakeful and crying in the night, but I didn't find sharing a bed to be necessary for bf. I was actually scared of cosleeping in case I smothered her so I didn't do it until she was quite large and robust - but I have bought a side sleeper cot for DC2 (as yet unconceived) as I plan to cosleep from the start if there is a next time - think it might be more restful.

But no, you don't need to cosleep if you don't want to.

FrumpyPumpy · 10/04/2012 22:36

It was for me with both DC, both BF to 9mo. You get good at lifting them up one hand under shoulders and one grabbing the bottom of the sleeping bag. We have coslept a little, only really after 6m, and when teeth have really been hurting. Don't rule it out, it is possible to do it pretty safely, but itvis possible to not cosleep too. Good luck!

BertieBotts · 10/04/2012 22:39

It will be fine! :) I found that co-sleeping really helped with night feeds, because I was the one doing the bulk of them, but there are lots of other options, you can feed sitting up and see how you go with tiredness, feed in bed but try to put baby back after feeds, get your DH to help by taking the baby back to cot and resettling for you, or take the baby downstairs and watch loads of box sets for your night feeds

I think co sleeping or not is about how much you are willing to be disturbed for night feeds, rather than what kind of feeding you do. I was lazy

oliviasma · 10/04/2012 22:41

course it is hon, the cot in the same room thing is what we did for ages, about 7 months. We have slipped into my little girl sleeping in our bed now and i do regret it cause she finds it very hard to settle on her own in her own bed. So you will prob be better off in the long run if when you've fed n changed her to put her in her bed awake to sleep, if you can, so she can learn to settle herself. Good luck :)

lindsell · 10/04/2012 22:42

I bf Ds for 18mths (ebf for 11mths) and didn't co-sleep once (no comment on those who do - just I don't feel comfortable with it and wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway).

Ds was in carrycot then pop up travel
cot by our bed til 7mths and then went into his proper cot
in his own room. I would just pick him up when he woke for food, feed him and put him back down again - didn't have any problems. Although I know friends who did have problems with them
going back to sleep but I would say out of about 6 people I know who ebf for at least 6mths only 1 ended up cosleeping

Dc2 is due in a few weeks and I'm planning to do exactly the same again.

fluffypillow · 10/04/2012 22:42

It will be fine. I had my dd in a cot beside my bed and bf'd her with no problems. I moved her into her own room at 13 months (she is now 15 months) and I am still bf'ing at night when she needs it.

AnnieLobeseder · 10/04/2012 22:44

With DD1 I would sit up with her while she fed at night, then put her back in bed, so I would be awake for however long it took to feed her, which lead to sleep-deprived awfulness.

With DD2, I would roll her from her moses basket/sideless cot (depending on how big she was at the time), pop her on boob and doze off again. When she finished one side, I would wake up enough to roll her onto the other side and go back to sleep. At some point later (could be when she'd just finished or it could be hours later), I would notice she was done and roll her back into her own bed.

I call it Lazy Mum Semi-Co-Sleeping, and it worked like a charm for me! Lots of lovely sleep all night long....

Springforward · 10/04/2012 22:57

Yes. I bf but chose not to co-sleep on safety grounds. I don't feel it caused us any problems. DS was in arm's reach but in his own cot for 6 months.

empirepenguin · 10/04/2012 22:57

My DS sleeps in his crib in our room and have been ebf-ing for 3 months now. It was hard in the early weeks as I was up every 2-4 hours but I found I slept much better between feeds knowing DS was safe in his crib and I could sprawl out and get comfy after months of not being able to sleep on my back or stomach :) I did try cosleeping but I found I was always really uncomfortable and slept really lightly and DS seemed to feed even more, maybe as easy access?!

Now though things are much easier, he sleeps for a good 7 hours before a feed then straight back to his own bed for another 2-4. No light on, no interaction. I feel he seems to be happier having his own space too as he's a very wriggly baby and self-settles very well. They're all different though and I'm sure you'll find what works best for you and your LO.

Good luck :o

Jas · 10/04/2012 23:03

I did what Annie did...."I call it Lazy Mum Semi-Co-Sleeping, and it worked like a charm for me! Lots of lovely sleep all night long...."

DD1 I never had in our bed, and was in her own room at 6 months (bf for 8 months)
DD2 Went to sleep feeding and slid her into her own cot next to our bed. (bf for 8 months - she was in our room until 12 months)
DS Semi co sleeping. Bf for 15 months, was in with us until 2 yrs. (we ran out of bedrooms!)

Each child was different, and all three approaches worked.

Meglet · 10/04/2012 23:05

Yes, it was for me.

DD was in the moses basket in my room for 8 weeks then moved to the cot in her room and night bf was fine. It did mean I had to wander across the landing a couple of time a night and bring her back to my bed to feed sitting up, but it really wasn't too bad. I used night feeds as a chance to read the newspapers in peace.

Liveinthepresent · 10/04/2012 23:06

Worked perfectly for me - still going 1 year in! Had dd in Moses basket next to me for about 4 months. Used to actually go to another room to do night feed ( possibly bonkers) used to watch tv and make sure she had a really good feed. Anyway can see how co sleeping works for many and wouldnt rule it out myself - we just got lucky that getting up once in the night was enough quite early on - so I always got 2 decent chunks of sleep...

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood · 10/04/2012 23:11

we never co-slept I bf both boys until just shy of 12 months.
it was hard in the winter getting out of bed in a cold house.
However, DS1 slept for 6 hour stretches from about 7-8 weeks (11pm - 5am) so that was not a chore
DS2 cracked a 10 hour stretch at 8 months I have to be honest, I totally loved the night feeds with DS2. We didn't get alot of time to spend with just the 2 of us, it felt like secret special time. Does that sound very wierd?

showtunesgirl · 10/04/2012 23:16

DD is 20 weeks today and we've only co-slept through massive growth spurts. Now she sleeps in her cot which is in our room.

TheHonMrsP · 10/04/2012 23:16

Here's an extreme one for you (and not one that I would persoanlly recommend) but my mum exclusively bf me for 7 months. I went in my own room at 2 weeks and "slept through" .

So it can be done, even at the extreme end.

I never fancied co sleeping. until I wasn't sleeping at all, then it seemed like the worlds best idea.

ZenNudist · 10/04/2012 23:24

I didn't co sleep ds stayed by my bed in Moses basket for first 6m (even tho he was quite big for it by the time I moved him to his own room). I didn't fancy getting up in the night. I also found bf much better for getting sleep as I didn't have to wake up fully as you would if getting up to make a bottle. After 6m I just went into his room if he woke at night but I found he tended to sleep better / all night when in his own room too.

I don't think there's any set way to bf, just do what works for you.

londonlottie · 10/04/2012 23:29

I breast fed my twins for six months and they were in their own room almost from the start. Don't believe those who tell you you have to go attachment-parenting mad in order to succeed at feeding your child, you absolutely don't.

londonlottie · 10/04/2012 23:31

PS on odd occasions (illness, desperation ) we tried co-sleeping: ours never slept that well in our bed and neither did we. Co-sleeping isn't always the best option for maximum sleep.....

tentative123 · 10/04/2012 23:40

Dd is 4 weeks, we co slept 2 nights right at the beginning when she wasn't feeding well and it was all erratic and a bit fraught. She has been in her Moses the rest of the time right next to me. We toyed with getting the co sleeper cot particularly because it was really hard for me lifting her in and out of Moses after emergency c section, but we are tight and not sure it would fit in our bed in any event. Don't worry, just cos plenty do co sleep there are plenty who don't! We haven't totally ruledvit out for the future but don't want to do it much either. (ebf btw)

stopgap · 11/04/2012 01:42

I co-slept for the first two months, and then DS needed to be moved to sleeping in his pram, on an incline, because of silent reflux. He's been in his own room since six months, and at 7.5 months we're still going strong with breastfeeding. I wear him a lot in the day in his carrier and BF on demand, and maybe one day out of seven he'll wake in the night for a feed and a cuddle. Occasionally we "co-nap" when travelling, and he is a complete nightmare for failing to unlatchhe's a big comfort nurser, anyhow; always has beenso there's no way we could share a bed.

startail · 11/04/2012 01:49

DD2 did a lot of lazy Mum co sleeping. Works fine.

She got the idea pretty quickly that if she was still she could stay, but if she fidgeted or mum couldn't sleep she went back into her crib or cot next door when older.

DD2 still did this long after she moved into a proper bed, although generally she only came in at night if ill or if she'd had a bad dream.

lots of lazy co sleeping on weekend mornings until long after she started school.

lemonpoppyseed · 11/04/2012 01:59

I BF for 14 months. DS slept in a carrycot next to our bed for three months, then in a crib in our room until he was six months old, then he moved into his own room. We only co-slept occasionally, usually if he fed around 4:30 - 5:00 am, and we would then doze together until it was time to get up. Now, he usually sleeps through, but if he wakes during the night I usually pop him into our bed. When DS comes into our bed, DH usually heads to the spare room; DS is a wriggler!

AnnieLobeseder · 11/04/2012 09:57

Well, of course you don't need to co-sleep to successfully bf, but some degree of co-sleeping (even if it's just for the time the feed is actually happening) is very useful to reduce the sleep-deprived zombieness!!

londonlottie · 11/04/2012 10:04

... not for everyone. It never helped us at all; I felt far more rested to just get up, be up for 1/2 hr - 1 hr, but then go back to bed knowing I could sleep uninterrupted for the next few hours.

TheSurgeonsMate · 11/04/2012 10:13

I wasn't aware that co-sleeping "went together" with breastfeeding when I started - the NHS told me to breastfeed, and they told me not to co-sleep, so that's what I did. I got out of bed and fed dd in a chair in her nursery (even when she was sleeping in our room, I carried her through to the nursery because I could put the light on there without waking DH and had my snacks and water all set out for the night.) As it turned out, she didn't feed so much that this was utterly impracticable, so I never needed to co-sleep to get an appropriate amount of sleep myself. But other babies may have other ideas.

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