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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

6 month old daughter wont let anyone but her mum feed her

21 replies

rachndan · 08/04/2012 06:58

I am getting a bit down/annoyed that my daughter wont let anyone other than her mum bottle feed her.

Its only been over the last 4-6 weeks.

As i work during the day i only really see her for an hr in the morning and an hr in the evening and at weekends. Recently if i or anyone else go to feed her she will refuse it and cry until my partner feeds her.

I am not sure what to do? I try but she refuses it. She is fine with me and everyone else for everything else like playing, holding etc just not the feeding. Its hard seeing your daughter reject you like this.

Any ideas?

OP posts:

pommedechocolat · 08/04/2012 07:03

Dd1 was like this - she just wanted me to feed her. Occasionally she would let dh but that was it. Noone at nursery not dm not mil.

It's in evolutionary terms though quite normal I guess. Bf would be only the mother for months.

Dd1 and dh are very very close now if it's any help? She's two and he is her very favourite person. I think sometimes the baby stage can be hard for fathers. But hang in there.

ithaka · 08/04/2012 07:10

DD1 was like this - super clingy to me, didn't want to know anyone else, incuding her dad.

It is a stage, just relax and she will grow out of it.

DD1 is now 14 and has a great relationship with her dad, she has far more in common with him than me!

AThingInYourLife · 08/04/2012 07:28

What about if her mother makes herself scarce?

Will she take a bottle from you then?

Try not to think about it as a rejection - she's 6 months old, so her attachment to her mother, and expression of that through wanting her tondo certain things, is normal.

It doesn't mean she doesn't love or need you. She does :)

AThingInYourLife · 08/04/2012 07:35

What about if her mother makes herself scarce?

Will she take a bottle from you then?

Try not to think about it as a rejection - she's 6 months old, so her attachment to her mother, and expression of that through wanting her tondo certain things, is normal.

It doesn't mean she doesn't love or need you. She does :)

EmilyPollifaxInnocentTourist · 08/04/2012 07:37

She's not rejecting you.

She's a baby. Her primal instinct is the bond with her mother.

But, it is NOT necessary to feed a baby to bond with them. Playing, baths, walks strapped to your chest, singing are all ways of bonding with a child.

It's quite odd to think that a 6 month old is rejecting you. You nerd to work out why you feel this way because it's not a healthy emotion and will impact on your relationship with your child and your partner if you don't deal with it now.

Finallygotaroundtoit · 08/04/2012 07:42

It feels like a rejection but really it's not.

If you think about it, it's not normal for babies to be fed milk by anyone except their mother.

Please try not to put your own desires above your DDs normal response.

As someone said, you can do lots with her that doesn't involve feeding her. It's making her unhappy and you stressed.

Original poster

rachndan · 08/04/2012 07:43

No i dont feel as tho she is rejecting me as we get on great in every other aspect just its quite disheartening for her to not want to be fed my me. She will occassionally but not very often. She absolutely loves me for everything else and rarely takes her eyes off me. If its a phase i will ride it out. Thanks

OP posts:

AThingInYourLife · 08/04/2012 08:23

It is a phase, but given how limiting it must be for all of you, it's probably worth a bit of persistence.

Is your wife always around when you try to feed her? If so, I'd try without.

If you keep offering, you may find she will accept one of these times. Just don't act upset or bothered if she insists on her Mum.

I know DH found giving our DDs a bottle a nice bonding experience, so I don't think it's at all silly to miss that.

She must be on solids now, at 6 months. That should give a good opportunity to feed her too.

MyNameIsntFUCKINGWarren · 08/04/2012 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mercibucket · 08/04/2012 08:29

She can move onto self-feeding for food now (baby led weaning) and also hold her own cup of milk now or very very soon, so I don't see a big problem in practical terms for much longer

mercibucket · 08/04/2012 08:29

She can move onto self-feeding for food now (baby led weaning) and also hold her own cup of milk now or very very soon, so I don't see a big problem in practical terms for much longer

CuttedUpPear · 08/04/2012 08:31

It's a phase.
Let it ride out. You have many, many years ahead of caring for your DD. One day you probably won't even remember this,.

AThingInYourLife · 08/04/2012 08:45

It's a problem because the OP feels sad about it FFS

It's not "controlling" to want to give your own baby a bottle, when that baby takes bottles. How utterly ridiculous.

A six month old baby who won't take a feed from anyone else can be a problem when a mother feels like ever being elsewhere.

Like, say, um... work.

A six month old who is self-feeding still needs to be supervised while they do, so there is still a job of feeding to be done.

Mama1980 · 08/04/2012 08:56

My ds was like this even now doesn't like anyone to feed him but me, by as the others have said its pretty normal a baby's primal instinct is to bond and attach to their mother as she is the source of food traditionally. We went through a stage of me disappearing so dp could offer expressed milk but ds always refused and got in a state so to be honest I would just wait for it to pass.

ScroobiousPip · 08/04/2012 09:05

Could you perhaps focus on something else as a dad activity? eg the bedtime routine (win win for everyone!)? Or doing some of your DDs first solid meals? Perhaps talk to your partner about organising your DDs meals so that you can do a breakfast or supper, rather than worrying too much about milk (since your daughter will be off a bottle entirely in another 6 months anyway).

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 08/04/2012 09:08

I wouldn't worry. As an earlier poster said, my DS has never been fed by anyone else as he is breastfed and always refused a bottle. DP still has an amazing bond with him.

He started nursery last week and, hey presto, when I wasn't there & he was hungry he took a bottle from nursery staff. If it really matters to you then have your parter go out for a while or take DD out yourself & she may take the bottle, otherwise, just focus on the things you e already said you do - baths, cuddles etc.

Pastabee · 08/04/2012 09:11

My DH would sympathise with you. Our DD is BF and won't take a bottle. I know my DH feels it limits what he can do with her.

He does baths, nappies, walk, playtime etc but I know he'd love to take her out for a few hours just him and her or look after her alone while I go out but it's not possible as she needs me to feed her. It's not rejection he feels, just frustration that he can't be as helpful as he would like.

I think it's really easy for women to say 'it's not long' etc but I spend all my time with her and he has never been able to take her out. If it is the same for you no wonder it makes you feel a bit . I know I wouldn't like it.

No suggestions but lots of sympathy.

AThingInYourLife · 08/04/2012 09:17

"(since your daughter will be off a bottle entirely in another 6 months anyway)."

Yeah, don't count on it.

Although they don't need any help once they are a bit older.

TheSecondComing · 08/04/2012 09:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScroobiousPip · 08/04/2012 09:32

Original poster

rachndan · 08/04/2012 21:20

Thanks for all the responses. I tried the bottle again no joy but she took an entire jar from me so not so bad. Its just difficult when my partner wants to go out etc.

OP posts:

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