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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Another argument re feeding dd

13 replies

Yawner247 · 07/04/2012 12:39

I am so annoyed!!!! Dd is 11 months and has been bf she hasn't been a fan of a bottle so i have expressed milk a few times but nothing of a regular pattern. She took around half a bottle of ebm when we went out for dh birthday around Christmas time with my mum, since then she has been tried with formula on the odd occassions! I return to work when dd is 1yr1mth an had said would like to stop bf before I go back to work as will be awkward with my shifts etc! I've posted for advice re stopping bf and have had many responses saying she will adapt to you not being their etc etc but dh just keeps going mad about how hard it's going to be for him because I've made a rod for HIS back and that we need to get her moved onto formula/moo milk!!!!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! But he won't help or try to come up with a strategy of how to go about it! When well she feeds in the morning for twenty min max and mid aft around 3-4pm for ten-twenty mins and then in the eve she feeds to sleep and generally sleeps through the night. So had made the decision to try and switch her mid aft feed for a snack/milk/water instead before tackling any of the other feeds any advice would be greatly appreciated! Dh is not so d today and has pissed off out whilst I'm left with a poorly dd trying to cook dinner for dmil....NOT HAppy doesn't even cover it today!!! :0(

OP posts:

JiltedJohnsJulie · 07/04/2012 13:00

Poor you. How long is it until you go back to work? Have you thought about speaking to a BFC? They should be able to help you to come up with a plan for returning to work and stopping bfing.

If she is poorly would it be ok to cancel the meal so that you have less to do and can concentrate on DD? Have you got some painkillers in the house for her, most of the shops will be closed tomorrow.

mumof4sons · 07/04/2012 13:02

I suggest that you start with the afternoon feed. She is too old to start on a bottle so introduce a sippy cup with water/watered down juice/watered down milk (cow's). Do not offer breast! She might grumble for a few days, but will soon get used to the idea. (Distraction/bribes work here.) Once the afternoon is tackled gradually use the same tack for the morning/bedtime feeds.

The only rod for your own back situation that I can see is the feeding to sleep. She needs to learn to put herself to sleep. Start a bedtime routine NOW of bath, feed (later a sippy of warm milk), story and then bed.

When trying to give up breast feeding - distraction is the best tactic.

Hope that helps.

Original poster

Yawner247 · 07/04/2012 13:12

Thanks for the responses...
Can't cancel as mil is disabled and needs dinner and tea cooking/prepping for her...it's only cottage pie so I've managed to sort it ready for the oven! Also have painkillers etc for her...she has bf for the last 24hr and had sips of water as she has an upset tum and is just very clingy...this is also my fault as I've had a year off to cuddle her and feed her I do a lot of stuff with her besides this... I think it's just driven him mad as he's not been able to settle her really. She seems to be able to settle herself if she wakes in the night

OP posts:

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 07/04/2012 13:15

I would keep bf if you want to - cutting out the afternoon bf isn't that hard - sippy of water/milk and some rice cakes (or similar) soon provide an interesting distraction instead.

He sounds like an arse tbh.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 07/04/2012 13:24

No need to offer water if she has an upset tum, bm is be far the best thing for her, have a look here.

Glad you've got painkillers in and that MIL meal is sorted.

Give your DH this to read as it has some good tips for settling baby without bfing. He does need to try this before you return to work though. Try to get a couple of days where he hasn't got to go to work and let him get on with bedtime and night wakings. Sleep downstairs if you need to. They both need to deal with you not being there and the sooner your DH can do this the better.

Original poster

Yawner247 · 07/04/2012 13:24

I wanted to feed until she was one and then I wanted to stop up until she was 6 months it was a week by week target! I go back to work early June! he's an arse at times what can I say....I blame the parents

OP posts:

thezoobmeister · 08/04/2012 14:28

Aw, you haven't made a rod for your own back. Your DD has a lovely mummy who she knows she can trust to make her feel better. I thought that was a GOOD thing!

Babies almost always prefer one person to start with, that's just the way it is - bonding isn't a competition between parents.

Why does your DH think that things are going to be harder for him when you go back to work?

Original poster

Yawner247 · 08/04/2012 14:51

Thanks zoo he thinks that she won't settle for him and will scream until I return from work!!! Leaving him a nightmare baby to sort out!

OP posts:

HappyCamel · 08/04/2012 14:59

She can have milk from a sippy or Doidy cup, she won't need a bottle as such. Breast milk is very sweet so babies often reject other drinks, they are used to warm drinks too. Dd likes warm red bush tea with plenty of milk and herbal teas but won't drink cows milk.

You'll find she won't ask for milk when you aren't there so he won't have a baby screaming for breast milk. I work full time and just feed before and after work. I reckon dd would accept warm redbush tea and a cuddle instead of breastfeeding if chose.

thezoobmeister · 08/04/2012 17:36

Well she might scream for mummy - but I think that's everything to do with having a strong bond and nothing to do with milk. FWIW it is pretty normal for a baby to be unsettled and unhappy when her mum goes back to work, BF or not.

I think your DH is going to find it a lot harder to settle her if he holds onto that negative attitude. There are loads of ways to comfort a baby without BF, he needs to learn them like everyone else does - by spending time with her, being patient, trying different things and not going on about how its all someone else's fault!!

harverina · 08/04/2012 18:42

Yawner, I went back to work when my dd was 13 months. When I went back to work she was offered soya milk or water from a sippy cup during the day as she is allergic to cows milk. My dd continued to breastfeed before breakfast and before bed when I was at work, and adapted very well to not having "boo boo" during the day when I was not there. To be honest I didn't even have a trial run with it, though my dd was used to having water out of a cup with meals. Prior to my return to work my dd was feeding at 6.30, 10.00, 2.30 and 7. My dd continued to sleep through the night despite missing the two breastfeeds, though she did love soya milk so she was probably getting quite a lot of that in between meals throughout the day. My dd is now 2 and we are still breastfeeding morning and night when I'm at work if she wants it.

Original poster

Yawner247 · 09/04/2012 13:08

thezoob I reckon that's the biggest problem, it's always somebody else's fault!!! She's not well at the min and I think that's why he went off the way he did...however he has managed to settle her and is currently sitting with her snuggled up like the cat that's got the cream
I'm on my phone and can't remember the other posters names...sorry! redbush tea I might give this one a go as I have some in as I quite like it, she will drink water and has drank a few sips of cows milk from a sippy cup.
I had got dd down to three feeds a day and sleeping through the night so I'm hoping this bout of illness hasn't wrecked that routine....(she had dropped the feeds not me making her btw)
Has anybody done a gradual switch to cows milk mixing it with ebm? A friend said that it would be the best way as she won't notice the difference but didn't really wan to start expressing now but if it's only for a short spell I'm willing to try?!

OP posts:

ZhenThereWereTwo · 09/04/2012 13:23

I think your DH is panicking uneccessarily, your DD will not cry for breastmilk during the day when you are not there and he could offer an alternative at that time such as a yoghurt and a warm tea (my DD1 (2.5) likes peppermint, camomile, redbush and lemon herbal teas and has done since 9 months old).

I returned to work part-time when my DD1 was 7 months old, my DH tried bottles of EBM during the day, but she refused altogether and just had dairy products and other foods during the day and then fed when I was at home.

One point though I noticed she started waking more in the night, not only to feed, but also to be close to me as she missed the contact during the day and this carried on until she was 20 months old (I was working full-time at this point) when I stopped night feeds altogether for my sanity and DH just went in and offered water.

A good walk in the buggy is your DH's friend along with CBeebies in the early days fo your return to work. Any distraction be it park, playgroup, swimming will help your DD bond with him and not miss the time with you so much.

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