Why isn't this working for us?

[Clueless79]

I've been back to work (4 days) a few weeks now and ds is 11mo. My intention was/is to carry on bf as long as we felt like it but send formula for ds to have during the day at childcare. I don't feel like expressing etc is the way forward for us due to other upheavals and changes going on and the time it would take to get a minimal amount. I believed from reading on here and talking to a few folk in rl that it should be quite possible to keep bfing morning and night and supply would keep going as long as we need it.

This doesn't appear to be the case and I'm finding myself in the catch22 situation of having to offer milk from a bottle at bedtime as he's looking for more than I have to offer. He's trying his best but I can tell from the ratio of sucking to swallowing that it's a struggle to get milk and then it doesn't go on long enough to satisfy him. I can't make him go to bed hungry yet I know that topping up with formula will mean less demand for my milk. What do we do?! Do I just need to come to terms with the fact that bf is winding down?

Also in my mind is confusion over how much milk he should be having at this age considering he's now mix fed - he's having milk with me (or not as the case may be) morning and bedtime and if needed through the night plus a bottle mid-morning and mid-afternoon. How and when do we go about dropping bottles?

Thanks. Bit of an essay, sorry!

If you think he isn't getting enough from you in the evening are you offering both sides? If he's had both sides its fine to keep offering the other side. It might take a few days for your supply to catch up.

Not quite sure on the amounts for a bf baby of 11 months. Have you spoken to a BFC? Have you got the helpline numbers? A BFC should be able to advise you regarding the formula top up and the quantities.

Thanks for your reply - the problem is that I always offer both sides and usually end up switching sides quite a few times every feed too but still tonight ended up offering the bottle top up . The hopeful thing is that he quite likes to then go back to breast in between/after the bottle but doesn't really seem to get much still. Going to keep trying to feed as often as we can when we're together but really feel that for whatever reason, my milk is just disappearing...

Hi Clueless,

Breastmilk doesn't run out - even after a mammoth feeding session, it will still keep coming as long as the baby is still feeding. The worst that will happen is that the flow slows a bit, but it really does keep coming - and offering both sides (or even 3 or 4 sides) helps too.

Do you think that these longer feeds are maybe about closeness, not just milk? Perhaps now that you've gone back to work, he's just enjoying taking his time and the snuggles that come with BF. My DD was the same when I went back to work.

Or maybe all the formula means that he is basically not that hungry and so doesn't need as much BM as he had before?

Hi zoobmeister - I do think with eating solids and formula it probably isn't very much about hunger but what's confusing me is that he is sucking away with very few swallows and then eventually seems to get fed up of this. He'd also go from side to side indefinitely until he falls asleep. The other thing is that the night I let this happen until he went to sleep without offering the top up - he woke again seeming hungry not too much later. Also whenever he's offered a bottle top up he guzzles most of it immediately.

I was wondering if it was about flow but he's happy enough to keep trying away without seeming to get much. I just don't know what's going on and am very at people who just seems to sail through easily with keen bf-ers!

Thanks for your help

Clueless I'm not trained so can't be of too much help but I did feed mine morning and evening when I returned to work and they both did more or less what your DS is doing where he kept going from side to side until they fell asleep.

Also, if you've only tried him without the formula top up once and he woke up, it may just be coincidence.

What time does he eat at Nursery and what does he have when he gets home? Have you thought about offering another bf, say after his tea and then again at bedtime? Maybe offering him some ready break and raisins while he's in the bath may help.

Still think though that if you want to continue bfing you need support from a trained BFC, try the National Breastfeeding Helpline on 0300 100 0212. They should be able to answer your question on amounts of formula whilst at childcare and also how to reduce the formula top up .

You've has some good adivce about supply and demand. The thing is offering the top is just going to make things worse as you will then produce less milk for the next feed.

Have you considered just going with it and seeing what happens. Baby's will often wake more at night when mum is at work for more milk, this is comman and often refured to as revers cycling. It's not just about milk but being close to mum as well.

I agree that it's a good idea to talk it over with a BFC.

Just a bit of reasurnce that by this age your supply is quit robust, you woun't just suddenly run out of milk, older baby's take week's/months to wean some times skipping feeds for week's at a time before going back to feeding for a while milk doesn't just suddnly run out.