Does she actually need feeding?

[GirlWithTheMouseyHair]

DD is 4months and up until a few nights ago we co-slept. Up until 3ish months she was going to bed around 10pm then waking at 5am to feed and again at 9am for feed and get up. We move and she brings her bedtime forward to 6:30pm, wakes at 1am then usually 4am, 6am, up for the day at 7am. I've always just fed her when she's woken. Recently she's brought forward that 1am to more like 11/12pm.

Now she's not in bed with me I'll often drift awake gradually realizing she's awake too. But as she's not actually crying (more often than not just wriggling out of swaddle and giggling to herself) maybe she isn't actually hungry? I'm pretty sure she'd be happy getting up at 6 but I'm too knackered and her brother gets up at 7am so it's easier to just feed her back to sleep again, which I normally do lying down so we both snooze. But the earlier feeds?

THis evening she started bedtime feed at 6:30 and took nearly an hour, draining both boobs. She's just woken up chatting and gurgling, chomping on her hands at 11:30, which I'm feeding her at cos obviously hoping she'll sleep longer but she'll undoubtedly wake in 3hours, then the gaps get shorter.

If she isn't waking crying, is she waking then just wanting to feed back to sleep? Is it worth me trying anything to teach her how to put herself back to sleep?

She's a 30min napper so clearly is a bit rubbish at self settling and has a dummy for naps. I don't know, just feels like she's waking a lot in the night (I don't expect her to sleep through anytime soon btw), doesn't wake crying immediately for food and doesn't seem to feed for long, just uses the boob to drop back off to sleep....I'm tired and confused!

You could try leaving her to see if she self settles but I think she is probably going through the 16 week growth spurt.
It's quite common for babies at around 16 weeks to go from waking once or twice in the night to waking every couple of hours because of this. I know my DD went from sleeping from 10-4 to waking 4 plus times in the night at this age.
Its a killer but she will grow out of it in a couple of months.

this is something im trying to change too.
my girl is 9 months and i did the same now i think she has started to rely on it to get her to sleep.
so i if she isnt crying i have started to just leave her, i sit near her so she cant see me and she does fall back to sleep eventually
im hoping that the more i do this the quicker she will fall asleep
if she does cry i have been stroking her face with a soft blanket lol

Depends how you define 'need'! Breastfeeding fulfils more needs than just nutrition. You know your baby best, do you feel that she needs it? Her behaviour sounds very normal for a baby of this age and 4 months is a classic 'fussy' period.

I suppose I'm just wondering if it's worth leaving her? Obviously if she starts crying I'll pick her up and feed her, but if I'm going to do that anyway maybe I just should when she first wakes?

I feed my 14wk DD to sleep but if she wakes after I've put her down, I do leave her. 8 times out of 10 she'll go back off to sleep but if she starts to cry, even a hint, I pick her up and feed her. I started doing it a few weeks back, one time I'd put her down and she woke but I needed the loo so went and when I came back she'd gone back off (definitely she wasn't crying because I was within earshot), that was at 3wks old. At that point I considered it a fluke and still always picked her up. Then a few weeks after that, she'd woken and it was 11.30pm and I was bloody knackered. I lay there and thought that while she was happy I'd just have 10 more minutes with my eyes closed. Next thing it was morning. She sleeps in a crib 2ft away from me so I know she didn't cry as I always hear her. DH finds it hard to leave her though, he's got up and picked her up before I've known what he was doing. Sometimes it's because she needs to burp but it's never painful for her (because she'd cry if it was) and whilst if I pick her up she'd burp, equally if I leave her she sorts it out herself no bother and goes back off. But I never let her cry. I'm worried that if DH keeps picking her up when she does it, she'll lose the ability to sort herself out.
I know what you mean though, everytime she wakes I think, would it be easier to just feed her now? Is she going to go back off? I tend to gauge it at the time but often leave her.
I've just started coming back downstairs after I take her up at 9.30pm and we have the monitor on. DH always wants one of us to go up but I listen to her gurgle and sometimes coo, if she even starts to cry I usually send DH up and he rocks her back off. Once I've had to go back up and feed again. But half the time I go to bed when she does.